When your bf/gf ask you to church, and you want to go?

[aznboy88]

Hey guys, well I was wondering what do you guys usually say to your gf/bf when they ask you to go to church? If you dont want to go at all?

 

Well, I told her, I'm not a christian. And she said "you dont have to be, it doesn't hurt to try new things does it?" I think she tryin to convert me, since she really religious. This totally caught me off guard.

 

What do you guys suggest, I should tsay to her in a nice way, that wont disappoint her, since she my gf after all. That I'm not interested in going at all? When the next time she ask me. Since I dont want anything to do with church at all.

[Caldus]

Why not try it out anyway? Maybe you'll like it. You'll never know until you try. I used to be like that but one day I started a stronger relationship with God and it has changed my life a lot recently.

[aznboy88]

Because, I'm a buddhist. And I ment "dont want to go" On my title.

[AngelOfDarknes]

hi

 

 

how are things gonna work out between you two, with diff religious i think u should go with her then next invite her to your church, well your her bf thats why she wants u to go just go stop makeing a big deal out of it ....just go

[Meow18]

I don't think it would hurt just going once. In relationships, you have to be willing to sacrific things for each other. I think you should consider going once, it doesn't mean you have to convert or enjoy it, just do it for her. After the first time, if she asks you again & you don't want to, then just say so. If you go once, then she can't keep saying "it doesn't hurt to try new things" because you already tried it. If you truly are not willing to go at all, then just tell her that you don't feel right & you just really don't want to. Thats really all there is to do.

[Alec]

Since your your own person and free to choose your own life please ignore me if you want,

 

Go because Christ died on the cross for your sins and loves you very much. He's sent someone into your life to bring you closer to him. Take the chance. The decision in the end is yours to take, your path to either heaven or hell. So go to church, because God wants you with him, not in the midst of satan's snare.

[mahlina]

Hi again AznBoi!

 

My ex of 4 years was like that. He was Buddhist, and I had to drag him to church. The most annoying thing was: he was bored, and would joke around in church too much. It was soo emberassing, especially being Catholic, people have to kneel, hold hands and pray with each other. All he did was mess around.

 

I guess for starters, try going to a mass hour in which you think that you will enjoy better. I know that at certain hours, they have different priests, some are better than others, and music that's different at different hours. I personally don't like morning mass. I like mass at night, because they play different songs, and the mood's just different.

 

Going to church isn't so bad afterall. Trust me. It all depends on who you go with, and the time of the day that you prefer. You'll also see some punk kid, wannabe gangsters hanging out at the parking lots, depending on which church you go to as well. So, it all depends on the church, the priest, the sermon, and the person that you go with. When you get used to it, going by yourself doesn't hurt too. It's that serenity that you feel in your heart. It just depends on which church makes you feel more at home.

 

Enjoy it while you can. Give it a shot, and if it turns out to be something that doesn't catch your interest, then you can tell her, "Hey, lets go to the temple one day." Do a trade off. If she doesn't like going to the temple, then she'll understand where you're coming from. Besides, no one religion is better than the other. I'm Catholic, and I'm not going to say that you're going to burn in hell, just because you're not Christian. First of all, that's not a 'Nice' attitude to have in the first place. Some of my friends think this way, but I think it's wrong. It's good to have differences. So enjoy the church scene while you can, and see from there. Do the little trade off, and you'll begin to appreciate each other for your differences. I think that people should be more open to differences. I personally enjoy going to the temple myself. You'll have FUN! No Worries!

 

Enjoy,

O Mahlina

[orange blood]

If a friend I was little close with or a girlfriend asked me to go to church with her, I would do it.

I'm not a religious guy, at one point I think I was. I respect those who I find to be sincerely religious, and not those who are in it yet don't know what they're in. At school I shy away from topics like discussing personal religion(though general religion I just like talking about, what can I say, I like mythology and the like). I also don't like those "converter" type of people who think your wrong in your ways, I just think that you should not be in a position to convert anyone if you yourself at the shining example of what that religion is, or at the very least understand your own religion.

 

Well back on topic.

Why would I go to church with a good friend/girlfriend for one day? Because these are just some of the sacrifices we must make. I don't like going to church, but if my friend wants me there, I would be. Really no difference than going to see a movie/band you hate but the other loves it.

But if it was just some aquitance I don't really care for, I would have no probelm saying no.

 

But then there's the reverse side. maybe she does want to convert you. "Come to church with me this sunday". You go. She then asks you come next time as well "oh come on, you went one time, what's one more?" That could just be bad, very bad.

 

Everyone here is saying you should do it, but that's not exactly what you asked. you want to tell her you don't want to go without disappointing her. That will just be dam near impossible, unless your girlfriend is one of the most understanding people in the world, which I doubt. Church is imporant to her, and she will be disappointed that her boyfriend doesn't want to go.

 

You could try the switch it on her route, the "it should work both ways", but using logic like this will not really help you.

 

Just tell her how you honestly feel. Don't cover it up by saying you have plans that sunday when you don't. Just tell her the truth. She can either accept it or not.

 

This is religion we're talking about, for some people it's never just a small thin but something major.

[aznboy88]

Okay wow this is quite amazing.. Anyways, If I go to church and my grandma founds out, she going to be really piss. One time my cousin went to church, and she found out. She yell the heck out of him, and keep askin him questions. Because my grandma really religious herself, to buddhist. She ready kinda, upset that I dont go to temple too often anymore, If I go to church even for 1 day, and someone that goes to my temple or my relatives see me there. They would tell my grandma right away, and It would really upset her. She would probably gonna say something like "You go to church, but dont go to temple? Why is that? What is the deal here? You dont believe in buddhist anymore?" and start askin me non-stop questions. If I tell her the truth, which will respondin as "Well my gf told me to try it out." Thats like sayin for example 'my gf told me to drive at 120 MPH on the freeway', and I go right ahead. Well I really love my grandma alot, so I dont want to take this chances, in gettin caught at all. Also, my gf would probably dont mind if I dont go, but Im just tryin to be nice, and be honest with her, thats why I need your help. AND what I just said right now about my grandma would do to me, my gf would jump into conclusion for sure, once I tell her the real reason. I know I need to tell her sooner or later, but I choice later better then sooner.

[Sebulous]

tell her that: you have a strong foundation in being buddhist. Your family would get very upset. You would prefer to not to go to her church, and that if she TRULY wanted to put you, your religion, your families relationship on the spot for 1 day, that she needs to rethink the relationship.

 

Honestly, if my GF ever said she was of different faith and didn't want to, I would no longer push for it. just let her know you have strong faith and do not want to cause problems. if she pushes more, i don't think she is respecting you.

 

I have had girls act like the really like me, and try to get me into their church. once I was actively attending, they dropped me like a rock and went on to new guys. so do watch out for little ploys like that.

[Trigve]

first of all, mahlina I think it's nice to have an open minded attitude towards other religion and all, but I don't see how you can believe what you said if you're really a catholic, because it goes directly against the religion. From what I understand the only way anyone can be saved is through christ, otherwise you burn in hell, that's pretty much the way it is.

 

Now that may or may not be true, but if you believe in the religion (hence making you a chrisitan), then you would believe that it's true.

 

And that brings my reply to the original post.. like someone pointed out before-- where is this relationship going? Let's say if you two do end up together, if she loves you at all she WILL be trying to convert you because she would believe you're going to burn in hell otherwise. And until you do accept christ, she is going to suffer (let's face it who wants to see a loved one burn in hell?).

 

I want you to think real good about this relationship and your differences in faiths.

[Maverick44]

Dude,

 

Seems like you're pretty close to your grandma.

 

Look, religion is an issue that some people pick up earlier than others. It's great for those that get involved early but for some us, it comes later where we think of our relationship with God and then make the choices regarding religion which impact the rest of our life.

 

What I'm getting at is this - if you're not ready to embrace Buddhism or Catholicism or Chistianity or whatever at this time, that is fine but you shouldn't be scared to say that.

 

Of course, if you tell your gf that she will say "Well then, try this because etc..." and this is where you tell the truth - "You know, I'm not ready to really embrace this part yet but I know I will one day. I don't even really attend to my buddhism as my grandmother would like because I am somewhat confused etc.." Not to mention that your grandma would have disappointment in your choice until you come up with a better reason than just your gf wanted you to.

 

Good Luck,

 

Maverick

[MrKawabata]

Hi,

 

I don't see how it is possible to have an effective relationship here - what you believe is quite different from one another and those differences are going to pull you apart - not closer. Beliefs are at the core of one's being, and here you have an uneven match.

[mahlina]

If that's the case, then you should follow your own heart. Don't listen to what your grandma says, don't listen to what your girlfriend says, listen to what you think is 'right.' You guys have conflicting values here, that's deper than you think. I know where you're coming from with this whole 'are you being a traitor' situation. My aunt's like that. She won't EVER let me bring a non-Catholic home. Even though I've been through 10 years of Sunday school, since I was 6, all I can tell you is: Religion is truly what you feel from within. It's not what other people say or do to force someone to follow it. It's what they realize in their hearts, what they chose to believe in.

 

Values are important in a relationship. Religion is a part of your values. If you guys decide to pursue something 'serious' later on, then religion will become more conflicting, if you want your kids to follow your own religion. People can say whatever they want. This debate is too subjective, and is not what enotalone stresses on. We're not here to debate on religion. We're here to offer advice on what he needs to deal with his situation. So I'm going to leave that part out of my own discussion. Besides, going to the temple is a part of what I do to pay respect for my own culture. It has nothing to do with whether or not I'm 'really' Catholic or not. That's besides the point. -Mahlina

[aznboy88]

And until you do accept christ, she is going to suffer (let's face it who wants to see a loved one burn in hell?).

 

I want you to think real good about this relationship and your differences in faiths.

 

Okay, are you sayin If anyone who doesn't believe in God, and Jesus. Would burn in hell? So other religion belief doesn't matter? All you need to do is become a christian, and you would go to heaven. Is that what you're tryin to imply here? I think Mahlina, really made a good point, if she really want to have an open mind towards other religion, then its her decision.

[Caldus]

This reminds me of the gospel of John in the New Testament...

 

That is very true mahlina. This debate is very subjective.

[orange blood]

And until you do accept christ, she is going to suffer

Why not the other way, why not until she acceptes the teachings of Buddha? But isn't life about sufferring? Sorry couldn't resist.

(Ok let's drop that whole thing like right now.)

This topic is not about him converting. It's not about him "seeing the light"(nor his girlfriend seeing the light). It's about him telling his girlfriend he doesn't want to go with church with her.

 

You already have a good reason not to go. Your grandmother would be disappointed in you. That's family.

 

If this is early on the relationship, I think your girlfriend did something wrong in asking you to go to church. This is something I believe to be a serious move. Religion is an important to many people, as you can probably see from all the people here. She shouldn't of asked you this until your will further a long(if that's the case), and have a close bond.

But I guess if she can't accept this fact now it's better to find out now rather than putting all that time in to find out later.

[Trigve]

aznboy88,

 

that's not what I meant at all, please re-read my post carefully, I think you missed the part when I said

 

"Now that may or may not be true, but if you believe in the religion (hence making you a chrisitan), then you would believe that it's true."

 

 

OrangeBlood,

 

the reason that it isn't the other way around, is because the buddhism philosophy does not say buddhism is the only way to enlightment, so she not being a buddhist would not be that big a deal to him. From what HE believes, if she doesn't achieve enlightment in this life she would simply try again the next one, no big deal.

 

where in Chrisitianity, what SHE believes in, is that if he doesn't become christian in this life, he goes for hell forever, thus a pretty big deal in this case.

 

Just different philosophy system between the two religions, I hope that explaination is clear.

[orange blood]

What ever happeend to purgatory? Just because you don't except christ doesn't mean an instanst hell ticket. I think I once read that those good people who just couldn't see the "light" weren't admitted to heaven, but weren't taken to hell but put in purgatory. As well as something of it being the waiting room while those who be deicded where to put you.

(I really don't want to hear anymore talk about religion/philosophy anymore here, and I know I'm stupid in brining it up again)

 

I amy not be a buddhist, but I don't think your statement of "no big deal" is right. For most people I would think it would take multiple lifetimes to achieve enlightenment, but I don't think that justifies the "no big deal, I got umlimited lifetimes to do this" type of thought.

I know buddhists beileve there are many paths to the same goal, but that still doesn't mean his grandmother can't be mad at him for going to church with this other girl.

 

But as he's said, he is not looking to go to church. He's looking for a way to tell his girlfriend he doesn't want to go. As I've said, if this girl is really religious and into church, she will be disappointed. And if she can't accept him for who he is, then I don't think this girl is right for him.

[Trigve]

orrangeBlood yea all the other stuff you said is all good, but you're missing the point important to this discussion. The point I was trying to make was simply that Christianity has to be exclusive, where Buddhism does not.

 

and because of this exclusive nature, I brought up the possible difficult situation that may result in the future and suggested the original poster to re-think where this relationship is going.

 

that's all.

[dikaia880]

If you absolutely do not want to go, tell her.

Now, in my mind it seems that you don't want to go because of your grandmother...the problem I see with that is that it's all being forced upon you. "this is what we are so you will be the same" I think that goes against the whole point of religion.

I'm a congregationalite christian, it's very open to individual interpretations, and individual beliefs. I have my own beliefs about christianity, God, and church and I am very comfortable with them. During my two years in comfirmation class, my minister took us to a lot of different churches and temples of all sorts of religions, mainly so we could make up our own minds as to what we believe...I am extremely grateful for that opportunity. I would suggest to you that you go with your girlfriend, for the experience, but at the same time make it conditional on her experiencing your temple...if she is not open to this idea than why should you be? I think there is too much narrow-mindedness in christianity sometimes (no offense to anyone, but especially in the Catholic church.)

Personally, I feel the more you understand about other's religions the more you will understand about your own and your own beliefs.

Unfortunately, I have not experience Buddism, but I would be very interested to learn more about it, but that doesn't mean by learning it I become a buddist or believe in it's teaching, by the same token by you going to church it doesn't mean you'll become a christian. But it's always good to try to see things from the other point of view...

[aznboy88]

Nice, responses we got here. Thanks everyone, including that guy that said "If you dont believe in christ, you would burn in hell." I never asked, anything about the christian religion belief, but ok. Thanks for tellin me though.