Ouch! Feels like day 1

[StandTall]

My ex of seven months has been out of the country for about a month, and we have been apart for 2 1/2 now. I guess I hoped that all that time apart may change her mind, and I'd get a call. Even if I do, I'm not so sure that running back would be the smartest thing to do. I have such a strong desire to pick up the phone and call, but I think I would just get kicked in the head again. I guess if she really had any desire to reconcile, she knows where to find me, right? I am just in a great deal of pain today, and a long holiday weekend on the horizon isn't helping. Words of advice or encouragement? Thanks in advance to all who reply.

[brokenpogostick]

There's no telling what could or couldn't happen ever StandTall. I know it has to be hard right now for you, but try to be strong. maybe there are better things in the cards for you in the future...you'll never know til you live your life. try to take your mind off it for now, everything will turn out for the best.

[LukeYLuke]

hey buddy, i think the main problem that you have is that as long as there is a link to her in you heart, getting past it will be so hard. i am in a similar spot to you, the woman i love left to go traveling in february, and we spilt a few months in to it, to my utter dismay. i obeyed the no contact rule and never called her. then it all got messed up when she called me after 3 weeks and told me she had been sleeping with someone else over there. at that point, i knew i had to make a decision to either make every effort to be with her, or do the smart thing and get hold of my life and clamber back on board. the second option was the best as keeping that hope would put my life on hold, and everyone deserves to live their life. so ask yourself what you want and is it possible, because until you know what you want, you will have the limbo feeling, and that can bring you down so badly. i asume that as you said 'get kicked in the head again' she hurt you. could you take that again? i got a call last night from my ex, and she called in the middle of the night coz she new i would answer as i was tired and not concertrating. it was bad, because it made me feel like i did the day she told me she slept with someone. so i hung up, and wrote some stuff down, and went to sleep. sticking to a plan gives you a goal. my goal is to get over her, and i will get there..... but if youfeel like you are floating, waiting and hoping, then its like your life goes on hold, and that feels rubbish. i am not telling you what to do, just offering my experience. make a plan, and make rules, and stick to those rules, for then you have direction, a goal, and hopefully, you will reach your destination. i dont know if this helped, but it helps me to write, as it is easy to give advice to another, not so easy to yourself. so be strong and you will reach your goal. but remember also, YOU are the most important person to YOU right now. take care of yourself.

 

luke

[Chandler]

StandTall,

I get that strong desire to call as well, but trust me, it will only make you feel worse. You don't want to get "kicked in the head" again. Whenever I feel the urge to call, I come on here and post or just read. I think about all the things that made us not work, and how she's a different person than before.

 

I'm sorry for what you are going through. But be strong. In my head, I know with time I will get past this. You will too.

[TraceyK]

Hey Standtall -

I'm in the same boat as you. It feels like Day One to me too, but it's been almost 2 months since we broke up (after a 1 year, 8 month relationship). I want to call but I know it's not a good idea. Been there, done that. Only hurt feelings on my end. Don't call! Be strong! I should follow my own advice. He knows my number. If he felt differently, he'd call. Even so, would it be right? Is he "The One"? I'm trying to convince myself he isn't. My advice for you (and me) is to think positively about this holiday weekend to come. Enjoy yourself. That's what I intend to do. Take one day at a time, one hour at a time. If you feel down, stop what you're doing and do something else. I was folding laundry before and came accross a concert shirt he bought me. So there i sat on the floor, wanting to cry feeling sad and alone...so what did I do? I picked myself up and went for a run...best run I've had in a while

 

When I started writing this reply I was crying my eyes out. I've since calmed down. Just putting my thoughts down helps. It's been a rough day for me too. I went online before looking for advice...typed "dealing with a breakup" in google and this site came up. I'm tired of turning to my friends when I'm upset. They probably think I'm a wimp. This is my first post ever. You're not alone, Standtall.

[StandTall]

Thanks so much for that last post. I think the thing about this site that helps so much is the fact that you realize you are not alone in your struggles. I'm going to try and stop thinking a few days ahead and just worry about today. I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable weekend. I just realized that when I'm feeling down, I'll remember that Monday is Independence Day- And I'll remember those who have recently lost their lives attempting to keep us free.

[jarofpinecones]

StandTall, this is going to be a rough weekend for me too. It would have been our two year anniversary. It hasn't been quite a month yet, and I don't have what it takes to distract myself when I get caught up in memories, so I signed on to work all weekend. At least I will be busy.

 

I think you have a great idea in getting outside your own feelings for a moment and thinking of others, especially those who did lose their lives defending our freedom and way of life. I hope you have a safe and busy weekend, and just try and remember that next year's celebrations you probably won't even be thinking of old what's-her-name.