How important are gifts?

[EnolWolf]

I was just wonder about different people's opinon on getting gifts for a loved one. I haven't bought mine a single thing yet, though I have given her money.

 

She bought me a T-shirt and a key chain from a trip she went on. They just kinda sit in my room. Even though I haven't used them, it made me feel really special when she did that.

 

Do any of you feel the same?

[mahlina]

Hi Tymiko,

 

I think that gifts work are a nice simple gesture. I'm glad that what she's given you made you feel special. At least you can appreciate what she gives you. I'm sure that she'll be happy to know that you do.

 

If you haven't given her a gift yet, other than money, then perhaps when you do, you can make it EXTRA special. I'd say, get something that she's always liked as a kid. It will not only be a simple token of affection, but shows that you actually listen to what she says. My ex bought me a Cinderella coloring book, and a big box of Crayola Crayons, and some tullips as a 'surprise.' That was more of a turnon than anything! It shows that he was actually a 'good listener'. Plus the little coloring book was kinda unique, because it was symbolic of the presents that my father used to buy for me as a kid. Thought that was cute.

 

So when you do buy her a present, make it extra special. I think that she will cry when you do. I thought that he wasn't really the sentimental type. But when he popped a box of diamond earings for me on my B-day, I balled out like crazy. That was a surprise. It wasn't the diamonds that made me cry. It was the fact that he didn't have that much money, and he said, "I know that you have pierced ears, and you don't ever wear any earings. I thought that it would be nice for you to have a pair." I cried like crazy, because in that moment, it was just the way that he said it, that made me melt inside. It was the thought that counts. He was not rich, but for him to do so, it meant more than anything!

 

I also remember the time when I baked him his Birthday Cake from scratch. Even though it looked nice on the outside, and as he describes, 'looked and tasted like fossilized rock on the inside,' he teared up too! (Sorry, I'm not a baker! ) I guess it was the part where us holding each other, with the lights off and the candles burning, and my singing to him his Happy Birthday song, is what really made him cry. It's just those little sentimental thoughts that really add value to the presents. That's why it's the little things that counts. It adds up.

 

You can also buy expensive presents for a girl, in which the value will mean nothing. It just depends on the intentions behind it that will strike up more meaning. If it's truly meant from the bottom of your heart, then it will have more meaning than anything.

 

You get what you give, right? Take Care! Mahlina

[emptiness]

Gifts are important. They show that you think about someone, without the need for any occasion.

 

I always used to pick up a cycling mag for my ex wherever I travelled to (I did a lot for work). cost next to nothing but showed that I thought about him even when we werent together. They always made him really happy.

 

He never got me a damn thing. Not even on my birthday or christmas! Guess I should have clued in a long time ago that he wasn't in love with me!

[brokenpogostick]

I'm having the same problem with my bf emptiness. I don't have much money, but when i have a few spare dollars i'll get him a little card or something just to let him know i was thinking about him, that's he's important to me, etc. I have yet to receive anything...i'm about to give up on getting him things if this is going to be the way it is...it's really sad, i'm really sad...

 

i thought you get what you give...obviously maybe i just don't understand this statement.

[lostinlove88]

I was in the same situation as you all. I gave and gave until we broke up. Every time he opened his gift or card he would ask me why did I do it. So I explained as plainly as I could that, the reason I gave him was because I loved him. Who would you give to if not to the one you love? It never sank in his head then I found out later that he cheated on me all along with two other women so everything kinda fit in the missing puzzle! Bottom line, we only had a one way relationship... Didn't see it coming at all, he always had excuses of either being too tired (somehow he managed to work around the clock, there was always a conference call to make) or being sick. All the conference calls were to his girlfriends and the sickness were from having to satifsy two other women in bed. So sorry to pour in my past to you all but it's deja vu to me. On the other hand not all men are pigs... I was just unfortunate that's all. My lesson from all this is not to show/act on my emotion. Wishing you all a wonderful Fourth of July weekend! It's beautiful here in Fairfax!

[mahlina]

Aaaww....Josh's_Badkitty, I think that you will receive something from him someday. What you give, truly does affect him. Even if he doesn't show it, I think that he does cherish your thoughts. Your little sweet thoughts are enough to let him know about you truly care. I was in your situation as well, not having enough money. But the little things that I gave him, and the little things that I did for him in the relationship, like basically doing what a wife would do for her husband, affected him more than I thought. Even if he didn't show that he truly appreciated the things that I did for him, during that moment in time, in the end, he finally did. thereforeeee, the thoughts behind the effort of giving on my part, paid back in the end, with me recieving those earings. (I hope this made a little more sense. "You get what you give" is a saying that we say in my language. I kinda threw myself off with that line too, when reading it in English. It's hard for me to translate these things sometimes, even without me confusing myself. That's why it's really confusing being a bi-lingual person. I tend mix up English in my own language as well. )

 

I guess it's his way to kinda wait around and give you something later, in the end. I think that he'll give you something. Good things come when we least expect it. I'm sure that your presents affect him somehow. It probably touches his heart, more than you know. Continue on giving him your unconditional love, but also make sure that he's giving back in return. Maybe you can hold back on the cards for now, just a little while, and see what he does. Still continue on being your wonderful self, and being supportive. Love's about a give and take. And I think that at a certain point in a relationship, when a guy feels that his woman's earned his trust, that's when he lets go of his walls, and truly sees that your actions actually mean something. They let go, and start to trust their partners, because the little things that they do, proves to them that their partners truly love them.

 

thereforeeee, the more meaning, the more thoughts in the giving, the more you will receive in the end. It could be exchanged in a form of a smile, that truly touches his heart, or makes him cry, and that will be good enough. I think that sometimes, our some b/fs want to show this 'tough' exterior. So even if they don't show you that they appreciate it that much, they truly do. Maybe he has trust issues, and it will take him some time to really open up emotionally. But when he does, he'll probably show you how much he appreciates your unconditional love. It takes time. Hang in there. I'm sure that he will surprise you like my ex did. That's why I teared up so much. Didn't expect it. It was a major surprise. Take Care. Mahlina

[mahlina]

Lostinlove88, I"m sorry to hear that he treated you so bad. Sorry Tymiko, but I couldn't help it but to respond. Don't mean to take over your post.

 

Sorry you had to go through that. Relationships are a give and take. But there is a point that we should give as much as they give, and hold back on things for a while. He was a jerk. His way of taking advantage of the situation will pay back later. He will have to face his karma. I think that we should give things to our partners, when we truly feel as though we can start to trust them. Otherwise, giving will have no meaning. It's his LOSS! Sorry to hear about that.

[EnolWolf]

wow, to be honest I really didn't think giving gifts could be that deep. I've noticed her past boyfriends kept giving her stuffed animals. I want to stray away from that. I'll find something.

 

Thanks for the advice.

I wish you all the best.

[Serendipity1607307077]

Every anniversary my boyfriend and I have (monthly anniversary, that is!), I like to show him that I care.. even if it's just a card. For our six month anniversary I bought him some swords. For our fourth I bought him a bluetooth keyboard and mouse, and a cordless joystick so he could play Battlefield.

 

Yet, he never seems to do anything like that for me. I don't have much money, but I ALWAYS make sure I get him something. Most of the time he shrugs it off as "Only being our sixth month anniversary". But isn't every month important in a relationship?

 

I really love him, and I know he feels the same way, but it's nice to feel appreciated.

[June4life]

I personally love giving and recieving gifts from my boyfriend. Most of the time they're just little things that lay around my room, but it always reminds me of him, and I love that.

 

My boyfriend always buys me pink roses, and he has ever since we started dating. On our 1 month anniversary i got 1 pink rose, on our 2 month i got 2 roses, on our 3 month i got 3.... and so on!! I love it! its so special to me. I have dried every single flower he's ever given me, and I have them in a beautiful glass platter on my dresser!! aww it just reminds me of the wonderful guy I have......

[Serendipity1607307077]

Hello people...

 

A BREAKTHROUGH!!

 

My boyfriend ordered me a colour printer that can scan and copy and do all sorts of things today - the second and most expensive present from him in SIX months!!! (the first was a $20 gift voucher)...

 

Cool eh!!

[goddess23]

gifts are important to an extent. i mean it is the little things that count, honestly when theres no occasion an actual gift is not necessary. i was touched to hear that even though you dont use what your gf brought back, you really appreciate it, and it makes you happy inside. and obviously in your relationship, you're not used to exchanging gifts for no apparent reason. i think just writing her a poem, or a stuffed toy or something like that for a "no reason" gift would really make her happy.

 

with my bf, hes a year younger than me, so hes really insecure about what he should do, what he shouldn't do, and for a few occasions, he gave me personalized bling. and i love them, not because of the cost but because his friends told me how much he agaonized about what to get me, and how much he thought about what to get engraved which is so sweet. but honestly im one of those girls that LOVES stuffed animals, and if he just got me one of those i wouldve been more than happy. so just know your gf, u dunt need to get her something all the time or everyday but gifts do have their place and time. and they are sometimes necessary to show how much you have listened, learend and loved.