I told her "I don't want to be friends" but...

[dietpepsi]

We've been broken up for about 10 months, our daily lives still connect us everyday, no kids but we work together, I am the dumpee.

 

We had agreed that we would both enjoy being friends. We've been talking a whole lot and getting along, emailing and also texting occasionally for the last 2 1/2 months. I finally realized that this was not going to help me move on with my life. I called her up and told her "I'm sorry, I am going to let you know, so that you do not think I am being a jerk, but I cannot be friends with you, I still love you, and I really need to let you go so I can be happy."

 

The conversation wasn't long, she was a little surprised I feel like, 1 month prior, she told me she hoped I wasn't thinking this meant that we were on the path to being together. With that in mind, I did it for me, I started NC, I changed my whole daily schedule so that we would not see each other, I also blocked her Facebook so that I wouldn't look at it. She must be aware that I have done all this in my efforts for healing and No Contact.

 

3 weeks went by, all is well, No Contact, I barely see her.

 

Then my birthday came around and I received a Happy Birthday email. Ok, so i said thanks. A week later I received another email which seemed like an excuse to send me an email. It was very minor, and something which seemed a little obvious, I shortly replied and that was that. The last few times I have been in her proximity, I have caught her looking at me several times, over the shoulder looks etc, more than around the room looks, she quickly looks away. Then yesterday I passed her intent on minding my own business and she turned around from what she was doing and said "Hey how are you?" I replied Find thank you, and she made a little joke about work and laughed a little bit. This is the same girl that avoided me like the plague when we broke up, blocked me from everything in her life and would not give me the time of day or the courtesy of breaking up with me in person, and also recently told me "our friendship didn't mean anything further" while sending me pages and pages of emails and basically we talked all day almost every day for 1 month.

 

My question is

 

If the last thing I told her was I still loved her, and did not want to be friends, and blocked her facebook and changed my entire daily routine to not see her. Why would she be taking these small steps towards me, when she knows how I feel and what I have asked for and obviously implemented on purpose.

 

 

It makes it harder to heal when she acts like she misses me.

 

I hope everyone is having a good night, despite your circumstances.

[pl3asehelp]

I would ask her what her intentions are with the continued contact. You've told her you don't want to be friends, so she knows that. So she's either a) ignoring what you told her about not wanting to be friends and therefore totally disrespecting you or b) she wants to get back together.

[Suesser Tod]

I would ask her what her intentions are with the continued contact. You've told her you don't want to be friends, so she knows that. So she's either a) ignoring what you told her about not wanting to be friends and therefore totally disrespecting you or b) she wants to get back together.

 

 

I really don't think so.

 

 

See, some relationships are just not meant to be. Some people should have never been more than friends. Maybe you two are one of those couples. Maybe she truly misses her friend. Maybe she just misses her safety blanket. Maybe in the future she'll come to realize that she did wanted to be with you.

 

But those are way too many maybes...

 

And you can't live based on maybes. So, who cares what she thinks/feels? This is about what is best for you. If being around her hurts you, remind her that you don't want to talk to her, put more effort on avoiding her.

 

If she truly wants to be with you, she'll let you know. If she doesn't, she'll eventually get the hint and stay away.