Any tips to keeping a positive attitude?

[brandnewday47]

wow, that was a great post TS. Just made my day

 

I agree, and helpful for both the newly and not so newly broken hearted.. Great advice..

 

For me what works part of the time is when I feel sad, I try to live in the moment and detach from the outcome. May not work for all, but keeping the mind in the current is one way to approach tough situations.

[sonicfan287]

Wow, I don't know how to thank you enough, TS, for that amazing response. I've never had anyone actually break down the things I say and respond to them all so constructively, so I'm extremely grateful for that.

 

The tip especially about acting as if she were dead was especially powerful because that's something I think about. Essentially, who I knew her as is gone, so I can relate to that and it helps immensely to not have the distraction of wondering when/if she'll be back.

 

Some days I think I'm doing okay and that I'm over this and then other days I just break down again for no reason. I realize she doesn't care about this nearly as much as I do. Im sure it was hard for her and maybe still is because she feels bad she hurt me, but I doubt she's up all night thinking about it and having to go to therapy because of it. I guess I should be happy that she's happy but clearly I can't do that.

 

Basically, it boils down to the fact that Im extremely glad and grateful to have all your support, and I support you all as well. I'll be on regularly to update on my progress, for those who are interested. Its good to know we're not alone

[TSandullo]

Glad to help friends, considering the grammatical and spelling errors in the text.

 

 

Some days I think I'm doing okay and that I'm over this and then other days I just break down again for no reason. I realize she doesn't care about this nearly as much as I do. Im sure it was hard for her and maybe still is because she feels bad she hurt me, but I doubt she's up all night thinking about it and having to go to therapy because of it. I guess I should be happy that she's happy but clearly I can't do that.

 

Your current emotional response is normal and you will experience highs and lows in the weeks to come. Your ex does love you, but not in the way you want. I too understand how it feels. Your acceptance of her happiness will come after ample time and reflection, when you reach the point of complete acceptance of the situation.

Wishing you all the best in healing sonicfan.

 

TS

[sonicfan287]

Yeah, thats what makes this so weird if that it WASN'T a bad falling out, well besides my own emotional breakdowns in front of her, but other than that, she doesn't have any bad blood for me, in fact she gave me ample time to spill my feelings when she didn't have to, so she must care a little. I think if things were more tense at the end or I felt anger at her besides rejection, it'd be easier to move on but she did infinitely more good in my life than bad and I feel like she doesnt feel the same about me because I made the breakup so bad, so shes like "he was okay but I wish he didnt make it so hard" Noone wants to be put in that position, breaking up is hard enough without the other person cryin in front of them, but whats done is done.

 

I just wish the dreams about her would stop. I wake up in a panic and it gets my days off to a bad start. If it werent for that, I could wake up in a decent mood and go on from there but she's the first thing on my mind every morning and it carries over. I know someday I'll be looking back on this and realizing how silly all this was (I do the same when I look back on other major problems Ive had) but for now it seems all too real. I can't hold back these feelings, no matter how hard I try. In fact trying to hold them back usually makes them worse.