my ex g/f of 4 years got engaged...HELP!!

[mazxs]

My ex g/f of 4 years got engaged to a bloke she only known for 3 month.

 

I Have so pain in my soul

 

My heart is broken, I miss her so much, she is (was) my flame that burned, my sun that shone,

 

She's got engaged this Sunday 27/06/04 and I'm here crying. She knows that I love her, why did I screw up my only love that I have ever felt, I can't see myself getting pass her, she's in my dream and in my soul.

 

Every time I close my eyes she there. her face, her smell, her warmth, my heartbeats for her.

 

Do I wait for her to see that I love her, I can't leave her, I miss holding her, laughing together, talking about us and what we where going to do with our lives, why did she leave, why did I leave her and choose my sister, I want to die, my life is nothing with out her, god I miss her, I love her so much. No one will ever come close her.

 

I can't get over her, I cry so much, it been 6 month since I held in my arms telling her that I love her. Why did she not see that my sister shocked (she had an abortion and tried to kill her self) me so much, that I was not thinking, mentally drained and scared she was going to die, why did I leave her when she need me the most (her gran died in the same month) why does my life suck, what's the point?

 

How can I win her, how can I show her that I love her, and no matter what she does (i.e. gets engaged, I asked her if she was going to get married and she said No, doesn't want to get married. So why is she getting engaged?) I still love her. I feel her in my heart so much. I have tried the N/C but she still sends me emails asking me if I'm ok, and that I should enjoy life, she says that she does love me but only as a friend. How can she say that she loves me that hurts my soul so much, I love her and I want to be with her?

 

Why does this pain hurt so much, why did I have to fall in love, why?

 

I know she the one, no else in the world that I want to be with more that her.

 

Is there i she could come back to me? Is there any way i could get her back.

 

Please reply. I need some adive so badly.

 

[virtualjedi]

Deleted.

[wesley Rowe]

Im goin through the same thing at the moment mate It hurts so bad when u've had sommin so good and u take it for granted then it all stops just like that. Bet your thinking about all the things you had planned and the things you wanted to do. Every thing reminds you of her. I started goin out and geting really drunk to try and sooth the pain but when i woke up it felt even worse. I know its hard but u have to think positive if she still luvs u she will eventually come to her senses but my advice to you is to go out there and show every 1 that u are the man and u are over her play her game congratulate her make her think that u are over her. Girls like it when they know that guys are cut up over them. I lost my appetite and everything. Shes on the rebound and those relationships never work just look back to how you used to act before u got wid her and try to be that guy again. u can only hide your feeling for so long. Be strong!!!

[Gilgamesh]

The pain is very real, when i went through this, I would rather have been shot or something.

 

At least when you have a physical wound people can see it, and can relate to your pain, the emotional wounds, cannot be seen, and take longer to heal, people see you months later and cant understand why your still hurting.

 

Your Ex, feels a bit of guilt for what she has put you through, and she is being "nice" to you, so she can feel good about herself.

 

Do not blame your actions of supporting your sister as the reason she did this, it may be what she used as an excuse, but there was something else.

 

If she loved you she wouldnt leave you because you tried to help your suicidal sister, your ex was being very selfish and inconsiderate.

 

The pain will go away eventually, it does, I thought mine would never go, I spent countless nights crying in the shadows, it goes away, it seems like an eternity, its a torture, but it goes away, it will. the sooner you give up on her, then sooner you will be free of this pain. Keep up the NC, keep yourself busy. do anything you can to keep your mind busy, and off of her. eventually, you will notice a few hours one day your not thinking about her, then a day may go buy, and then it gets to where you only think about her once in a while. It does fade away.

[Francis]

Hi Mazxs, why wont you read my postings at "Girlfriend Left Me Out Of The Blue" where a very similar question is asked. If you want to get the girl back, feel free to e-mail me.

[brokenpogostick]

i'm so sorry you're feeling this way...things will get better eventually...i know it has to be hard...but try to think of the positive things going on in your life right now. talk to friends and family...try to be yourself again

[mazxs]

On saturday night she texted my mobile like 5 times in one night asking if i was ok, she called my phone twice, i left my phone at home was at a club with some mates getting drunk .

 

so next day (sunday) i found all these messages on my phone.

saying that she was worried about me and that she stil cares for me, do i go and see her or not?

 

Monday found another text message on my phone to call her because she was worried about me.

 

Well she called me Tuesday, and now i meeting her tonite, i just don't know what to say to her?

 

I'm so scared of losing her, how can/could she get so enaged to this kid( she's 24, he's 20 still at college, for another year. He's about a 2 hrs drive away from each other (neither of them have a car so they use trains) one of her girlfriends told me all this).

 

i love her with al my broken heart, i know she's the one for me. there's no other girl in the world that i would want to spend the rest of my life with.

 

i don't understand how she could find one else so fast, get engeged, and not try to she that love her.

 

for the rest of my life see my post by mazxs

[Goodguy]

 

 

I had a deep meaningful, ultimate fantasy romantic 4 year relationship that included fantasy travel to Hawaii and Cancun and also all the love and warmth I always wanted and was looking for, but like many good things it came to an end and there were also bad parts about the relationship too. It got so bad the miscommunication, the arguing that I had to break up with my fiance 8 months ago, we were ok because we were in different cities, but I had an interview in the same city that she was living in and so I moved and could not resist trying to see her and to be with her again, that was a MAJOR mistake!

 

I have been through a lot and have some GREAT ADVICE FOR YOU I think it helps to talk to someone who is going through the same thing at the same time and I did a lot of soul searching and research so check it all OUT!

 

First Like I said being FAR AWAY in a different CITY helps a lot! I broke up with her over the phone when she traveled to another City, I asked her not to but she did anyways! Well that was the last straw for me, how often can someone NOT listen to anything or respect to ANY of your requests? That is why I HAD to break up with her. It hurt a lot but I was so upset and she kept rebeling so many times that I was relieved, I was hurt but again being FAR away helped.

 

Only when I moved to the SAME CITY did I "feel" her energy and all of my thoughts were on her again! Being in the same City made me nuts and I could not control myself, I think when you have been with someone for so long you actually share a special energy and bond and apparently it has to do with distance! So I think getting as FAR away as possible will help you get over her, go on vacation or visit some family or friends FAR AWAY!

 

Also I looked up and learned MORE about Astrology and also VEDIC ASTROLOGY! Many people do NOT believe in these things but I do now because so much of it has helped me understand that the planets and stars and moon DOES HAVE A VERY REAL EFFECT ON US, the moon affects ladies periods and tides for example, astrology is the same thing but you have to find QUALITY ASTROLOGY on Websites and VEDIC is the BEST, the 2 liners in the paper are NOT GOOD or helpful, real ones with Websites are some more than others, but the best THING IS GET A PERSONAL VEDIC CHART! WHy? Because it is based on YOUR INDIVIDUAL birth time, birth place and year and is pretty accurate if you have your EXACT BIRTH TIME! For me for example it explained that I would meet and fall in love with the WRONG girl, fall madly in love then have to break up and be really broken hearted for a long time but that it happened for a purpose and reason and that is to make way for a new relationship and girl one that would match and fulfill my life's purpose and compliment me in every way, the REAL SOUL MATE! Ok the thing is it takes a long time to heal from the first love and it takes a while for the next one to come into your life, just think how long it took to meet your ex! Knowing this has helped me a lot, it does not take away the pain or great memories but makes me start to accept that things happen for a reason and purpose. It might not be this neat or work out this way for everyone and who knows how long the next one or real soul mate will come, it might be quickly or take a long time and you have to deal with being alone or lonely but these are very real lessons we must go through and learn in life!

 

Ok so getting back to getting over the EX. Ok so when I was in the same city I went crazy, called her all the time, even followed her and kinda stalked her too when she would not see me! All I wanted to do was to see her for just a few minutes, hug her, kiss her and that was it but she would not even let me do that and it drove me nuts! Then I would e-mail her everyday and things got really bad, I would call her every 30 minutes from work, finally when I decided it was all too crazy and out of control I decided I could not live or work in the SAME CITY as her and I decided to move to Hawaii! Only when I did this did she plan and let me date her for 2 fantasy days and nights! I was the best make up love and date of my life but was so bittersweet too because I knew it we were saying goodbye forever and properly this time, I wish our date and those moments lasted forever I even told her that but soon we had to say goodbye but it was so enjoyable it was almost worth it!

 

Ok some more advice, DO NOT CONTACT OR CALL OR E-MAIL her, the more you do the longer it takes to heal. Being "friends" is horrible too it will just take longer to heal or move on! It is hard and sometimes you will just e-mail her anyways but sooner or later she will stop replying anyways and you will just be having one way e-mails! Besides you have to put ALL OF THIS IN PERSPECTIVE you are having a hard time moving on, that is understandable, there was love deep love but it was NOT MEANT TO BE ANYMORE! If it were you would be together! RIGHT NOW YOU ARE IN THE PAIN BODY AND PAIN ADDICTION PHASE! You have been accustomed to feeling hurt over her and it is hard to stop doing this to yourself but you must or your PAIN BODY WILL GROW and things will only get worst instead of better! Just try not to think about her, try not to bring up any memories, I know it is hard or impossible but just try and also try talking about her or what you are going through you are just making it harder for yourself to move on and to heal and making the PAIN BODY stronger and it will make it harder for you too! The PAIN BODY feeds off of pain and is part of your brain and sub conscious that will create situations for you to feel more pain, it wants and is addicted to PAIN so it will bring up memories or things that will hurt you! You have to then deal with getting over your EX AND YOUR PAIN BODY THAT you are creating! You gotta get over both and you can!

 

You are creating a groove and rut where you probably talk about your ex and pain with everyone and you are still doing it online, it seems to help but you are playing the "poor me" and "victim" or "I am hurting so much" drama and YOU NEED TO STOP! The longer or more you do this the harder it will be to heal or move on and you may make things worse for your real health, body, mind or do something bad in real life and YOU NEED TO STOP THIS! I can tell by the whole broken hearted guy handle and the way you wrote your posting! It is ok and good to vent and get it out but I see you being stuck and making it worse, "I feel so bad" "I can NEVER get over her..." I went through the same things! YOU CAN GET OVER HER! SHE DID ALREADY! So the thing is to accept that it is over, also getting far away really does help! NO WAY could I heal or be ok if I was in the same city or area! You are just too close and will try to get back together or hope or still feel her energy!

 

Also know that there are VERY REAL ASTROLOGICAL FORCES IN PLAY! Notice that you went through a VERY HARD TIME between May 19-June 30th??? This is because there were certain Planets moving through certain sectors that will INTENSIFY RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS! Look it up on ANY ASTROLOGY WEBSITE for many signs between May 18-June 30th it is very bad as far as relationships and business too! Astrology is REAL THE MORE YOU LEARN ABOUT IT the more you can understand very real planetary influences, of course you can overcome them and try to be stronger but they also have very real affects on your mind and life just like the moon has very real affects on the tide and on women's periods!

 

ALSO I did more research and there is a thing called RAHU KETU! Enter it into link removed. It is an Astrological Period where right before it happens you get EVERYTHING you thought you wanted or desired to make you happy, the girl, the job, the money but right when RAHU KETU STARTS you LOSE IT ALL! It started in August 2003, many people all of a sudden LOST EVERYTHING their girlfriend, their finace, their job, apartment, home, everything! BLAME IT ON RAHU KETU! IT would take a long time to explain so you have to enter it into link removed!

 

Everyone must go through their RAHU KETU and RAHU KETU lasts for ONE FULL YEAR starting on August 2003, right when it started I had the luxury beach apartment, great job, great fiance about to be married in Tahiti, my fantasy convertible, then right after the RAHU STARTED along with MERCURY RETROGRADE(ALSO LOOK THIS UP IT IS IMPORTANT TOO!), I LOST EVERYTHING IN A MATTER OF DAYS, first I broke up with my Fiance because we argued and she would not listen to me, then I lost my job, which made me lose my beach apartment then I got into an accident on the freeway and totalled my convertible all in a matter of days!

 

This year RAHU KETU affected Virgos, Scorpios the most with some Libras and even some other signs as well! Thank GOODNESS RAHU KETU ENDS this September 25th 2004!!! Then at that time Jupiter enters Libra AND A LOT OF GREAT AND GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN FOR EVERYONE FOR ONE FULL YEAR AT LEAST! ALL THE SIGNS WILL BE PRETTY HAPPY! Well that is except for the next set of signs that has to experience their RAHU KETU! I have no idea which signs will go through their RAHU KETU in 2005 but for Virgo, Scorpio and Libra they will be done with their ONE YEAR OF MISERY and will being ONE FULL YEAR OF friends, new lovers, money, jobs, parties, celebrations and good times! FOr Scorpios and Virgo in the months on SUMMER they are even FORCED by RAHU KETU TO be ALONE AND ISOLATED until September! Even if you do not believe me I bet all the above is happening to you! It did for me! There is an actual list of what has to happen during RAHU KETU and some other things are disspoaintments in travel, fatigue from travel, being alone and isolated, thinking and dwelling about the past and losses, losing if you invest in stocks, losing everything and happiness, feeling really low in life and not being able to enjoy much of anything, attempts to improve life will bring more disappointments! Like right now you are thinking and really hurting from losing your EX RAHU KETU is doing this and making it worse and it started in August 2003! BUT TAKE HEART I am going through the same things! BUT this September 25 on we will be ok and new lovers and friends and good times will come back to us for ONE FULL YEAR we will have it all again!

 

Why does this have to happen? Well for one thing LIFE is an illusion and RAHU KETU's job apparently is to make sure you realize EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY and an illusion! ONLY GOD is real and eternal and our souls too! That is why we have to suffer sometimes, all the unreal and things we think make us happy get taken away and we have to intensely suffer to realize that GOD never abandons us and always loves us and we should connect more with GOD! This is for everyone and not just people going through RAHU KETU ONE YEAR PERIOD we ALL will lose and suffer in life and I am really sure the purpose is to make us realize the truth and to become more spiritual! The fact is we all live and go after what we think will make us happy, but the whole time it is all illusion and temporary! But we still go after it, only when we lose things do we think deeply about the purpose of life, what can really make us happy, etc.

 

There are a lot of lessons and a lot of learning to be done! Also for me I realize that being alone and isolated allows me time to learn more but also to help others and to process all this information! I am also broke and unemployed and live with the parents for now and it is all for a reason! It is NOT how I want to live, I was on my own with EVERYTHING then in an instant it ALL GOT TAKEN AWAY! RAHU KETU is the HARDEST ONE FULL YEAR in your life and EVERYONE has to go through it, most people do not know about it or can survive through it but you can and will! Things WILL GET BETTER! Also I am glad I learned about RAHU KETU and MERCURY RETROGRADE I wish someone would teach us these very real planetary periods that affect our lives so much!

 

Anyways do research the above it will help you feel better knowing that YOU ARE SUPPOSED to be going through this and that there are larger forces at work and affecting you and many others at the same time! This helps! It also helps to know we are supposed to suffer in life so that we learn important lessons like not being so attached, about establishing a relationship with GOD and upholding the Commandments the more we can do that the better and happier we will be! Also notice that we were NOT married or had kids and you probably have different goals than your EX, this WILL lead to a break up and for a reason, YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE ELSE! Endings usually lead to new beginnings, you do not see it now and it may take a long time or not to meet someone new and more suited for you that can make you happier! So let that comfort you also know that in September 25th onwards EVERYTHING will improve, just 2 more months and you will see vast improvements, I am already slowly but surely getting better and better things and moving on and healing! I do not call her anymore and only write a few e-mails, she no longer e-mails me back and is trying to move on, there is NO USE trying to drag our a break up you have to accept that you HAD good times but MUST LET GO AND MOVE ON! IF it was meant to be you would be together still! It is NOT and there IS someone else for you in the future look at it that way! Someone better and more for you even!

 

I know it still hurts and sometimes you will feel ok or not think about her then all of a sudden out of no where thoughts pop back up or you start to wonder what she is doing, etc. This is normal, painful but you will get through it and try to keep distracted and try not to think about her it is the best way, it will still hurt and I know you think that you will always have this special place in your heart for her but you just gotta stop and try to move on man! I know it is hard being alone and isolated but try to remember RAHU KETU is doing this to us and in just 2 months things will be good again to balance out all the suffering and lose and learning we had to endure for ONE FULL YEAR! Also everyone has to go through their RAHU KETU!

 

So YOU WILL GET OVER HER it takes time, the planets will also have to move into better positions, you have to work on healing and try to stop thinking about her, it is hard I know I am going through the same thing but you know what each day gets better and I get stronger! Yes I still feel pain and hurt when fantasy moments pop into my head or when I wonder how she is or wishing she or someone was snuggling with me or not having to sleep alone, but we have to just cope and deal with it and WAIT for BETTER DAYS WHICH ARE COMING FOR EVERYONE SEPTEMBER 25th ON! Just try and you will get over her, also remember there are ALWAYS BETTER FISH IN THE SEA AND BETTER PEOPLE OUT THERE FOR US! Just because you are hurting now, or not meeting people or not ready to, does not mean anything, YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE BETTER then you will be so glad you did!

 

I hope this helped you, I am going through the same thing, also realize all of this is for a higher purpose and also to teach you many lessons that you are having to learn, pain and suffering teach us the most and I know it is very hard to see it now but it is all for the best and for a REASON only later in time can you look back and see why all of this had to happen! Right now you can't see it, but I know things happen for a reason and you will be able to look back and see and know that you will be ok and will be able to get over her, also try to identify all the BAD things and what NOT too look for in your next lover/mate. I DID and that helps, there were probably signs and things about her that you ignored but eventually proved to be too much and caused the break up, try to learn from what you really need in a person, what is your best match and compatibility! AGAIN VEDIC CHARTS and astrology can help, I know it seems really cliche and kinda dumb to go on but anything that can help next time is good! FOR example I am Scorpio and she was LEO, besides the sexual attraction and beauty we HAD NO COMPATIBILITY WHATSOEVER yes we had adventures and travel but sooner or later the fact that we both want to lead, both are stubborn, one is a fire sign and the other is a water sign thereforeeee are incompatible all was leading to a serious break up after a serious 4 year incredible relationship! Now my next mate will NOT BE A LEO for sure, but most likely a PISCES which is more compatible for me, think of Astrology as a helpful personality profile or something, it can only HELP you find a compatible mate, aslo make sure with your next mate that she is really able to communicate and have the same goals as you do otherwise you will only break up and get hurt again! So instead of wallowing in your pain and suffering, try to stay busy researching and looking up what YOUR NEXT BEST MATCH IS! IT IS FUN and will keep you busy and you will start to see how wrong the last person was for you and how you are going through so much pain and suffering let that motivate you to find the best next person and match!

 

Also do more prayer and get closer to GOD too since that is also our life purpose! Also one last thing some of us are not meant to find a mate, that is possible too, some of us are meant to become monks or priests that is one possibilty as well, but if that is not what is for you then try to research and find out what your next BEST MATE will be like and what you want so that your next relationship will be even better and more compatible, just try it is fun! I know what I will look for, a Pisces, someone who will listen, not have so many issues, come from a good family, etc.!

 

Hope all the above helps! There is so much learning in life and information but read and re-read the above it is practical and helping me get through this tough time in my life, but I know GOD loves me and HE will never break up with me or abandon me and I also know BETTER TIMES are ahead and coming and my REAL SOUL mate is too!

 

Cheer up and don't let yourself get into a funk! BE A MAN! Get in the habit of being happy, excercise, don't drink or smoke to try to "get over it" it only makes things worse and your derpression worse I know...try to get fresh air, some sun, excercise this will help a lot!