Don't know what to think

[free2Bme]

Hi, I' hoping I'm just being paranoid, but what would you think if you found your partner had done the following things?

 

1.Set up a new email account separate to the one he has used for years

2.On the same day as the above, deleted ALL his internet history

3.And on the same day still, deleted his sent messages in his phone, except one that says "Text me tomorrow, 2pm x" to a number that is not stored in his phone.

 

I'm feeling really confused and upset right now, I don't feel I can confront him about it, but I think it's going to start eating away at me, what would you do?

[faithful14]

I'm not sure because it does sound a little fishy but it's not enough to say that "yes, your partner is cheating or anything like that."

 

how did you find out that he had a new email account? i'm assuming you snooped through his things?

[free2Bme]

yeah, I snooped through his existing account an there was a registration email for the new account. I know I shouldn't have, but I've done it now.

 

He's acting normal otherwise, and brought flowers home for me the other night.

[faithful14]

See, I don't know your boyfriend so I can't say if this accounts for him being dishonest about something. A couple months ago, I made myself a new e-mail account but I never told my boyfriend about it. The e-mail was just going to be used for school purposes and getting responses about job applications and such, so to me it didn't seem important to tell him. And that could be a possible reason why he hasn't said anything. I've also deleted my internet history and old text messages but just for the purpose of clearing out the old for the new things. Believe me though, I do understand why it weirds you out.

 

Honestly, I wouldn't jump to conclusions and get worried yet. I wouldn't tell him you went through his stuff. Then he'll get mad and then put a lock on his computer just to protect his stuff- and that will definitely not make the situation look good.

 

I think just keep your eyes and ears open in case something is up. If he really is up to no good, you will notice. Things that are kept in the dark, always come out into the light. And I usually am against this, but if he does start acting different- just for your own peace of mind, you can just take a quick peek to see what he's up to.

[free2Bme]

Thanks for the advice, yeah I feel really bad about the snooping. I also thought it was weird that on the text he said, he said to text at 2pm, why that time? Strange!

 

It's not like he's going off places and I don't know where he is, we have a nice weekend planned together, and we live together so I don't think there could be much going on without me realising.

 

I am just going to try anf forget about it, I don't want to make a scene out of nothing, and I have got this sort of thing wrong in the past.

[Sweetkisses22]

He is clearly hiding something otherwise he would not delete the history. He doesn't want you to see it and he knows you will probably check thats why he deleted the history AND his sent texts. Which means you are right, he's being dishonest. Ask him up front about it.

[Unreasonable]

I would be what I would call 'vigilant' over this. Don't get all confrontational just yet. This could push him away when there's nothing going on. I would just kind of keep an eye out, don't ignore any abnormal behavior, or turn an blind eye to shifts in your relationship. If you do notice such things, ask how he's feeling about the relationship, if anything's wrong, etc. If he denies it, then perhaps take a closer look and see if he's still trying to hide things and confront him if you find anything. I don't believe in snooping without cause, just as a last resort when you know something is wrong but can't pin it down.

[MrWallFlower]

See if he tries to find a reason to get away by himself at 2pm.