Boundaries/rules of a physical relationship?

[easyguy]

I just want to chill and go with the flow of a strictly physical relationship. Part of me wants to part from the heavy emotional terrain of a dating someone with more emotionally involved intentions , and gain some more sexual experience for the sake of doing so. It's been a while , and I'm tired of moving into sexual territory with a girl I'm emotionally attracted to because I always end up getting really nervous.

 

What are the boundaries (or rules, if you will) of a strictly physical relationship, for those who have been in them, and what were your experiences with that kind of relationship? I'm not talking about sleeping around with different women all the time (not like uber casual sex), but pursuing someone with those specific motivations.

[abitbroken]

I just want to chill and go with the flow of a strictly physical relationship. Part of me wants to part from the heavy emotional terrain of a dating someone with more emotionally involved intentions , and gain some more sexual experience for the sake of doing so.

 

What are the boundaries (or rules, if you will) of a strictly physical relationship, for those who have been in them, and what were your experiences with that kind of relationship? I'm not talking about sleeping around with different women all the time (not like uber casual sex), but pursuing someone with those specific motivations.

 

I don't think there is such a thing. One person inevitably starts to feel something for the other person. Emotions happen that you can't plan. And sometimes one person goes into it kidding themselves they don't want more but once its going on, they do no matter what they agree to. The only real way of "gaining experience" is actually being in a relationship with emotions because sex positions and acts don't feel as deep and as intense with a stranger as they do when you are with someone you care deeply for and feel comfortable and vulnerable enough to experiment. (and open enough to talk about birth control, boundaries, etc)

[easyguy]

I don't think there is such a thing. One person inevitably starts to feel something for the other person. Emotions happen that you can't plan. And sometimes one person goes into it kidding themselves they don't want more but once its going on, they do no matter what they agree to. The only real way of "gaining experience" is actually being in a relationship with emotions because sex positions and acts don't feel as deep and as intense with a stranger as they do when you are with someone you care deeply for and feel comfortable and vulnerable enough to experiment. (and open enough to talk about birth control, boundaries, etc)

 

True , good points. The last girl I had sex with was my ex , and we broke up in February. We didn't start having sex until we were like 2-3 months into the relationship (which lasted 5 months) , and she was my first. She and I were totally open about birth control , and in fact , she works at a clinic so she knows the scoop on all that and was kind of a perfect introduction to it.

 

A girl I briefly dated months later , we almost had sex but we were moving too quickly into it after we had been emotionally involved.

 

I just don't want to disappoint a girl I am emotionally involved with.

[Kinkz]

Join a dating site where people are looking for just a physical relationship without the whole emotional thing attached to it, both parties know what they want.

[abitbroken]

True , good points. The last girl I had sex with was my ex , and we broke up in February. We didn't start having sex until we were like 2-3 months into the relationship (which lasted 5 months) , and she was my first. She and I were totally open about birth control , and in fact , she works at a clinic so she knows the scoop on all that and was kind of a perfect introduction to it.

 

A girl I briefly dated months later , we almost had sex but we were moving too quickly into it after we had been emotionally involved.

 

I just don't want to disappoint a girl I am emotionally involved with.

 

If there is love, you both will overlook the initial awkwardness and besides, everyone is awkward the first time with a new person. You won't"disappoint" someone if you don't have as much experience if there are feelings. Also, in fact, I would be sort of turned off if the guy I was with had several meaningless one night stands just to gain experience or had friends with benefits because that would tell me that he could "detach" and sex might not mean as much to him. I am not saying EVERYBODY thinks that, but for me personally.

[Teaday]

I'm guilty of convincing myself that guys are good in bed for the sole reason that I'm emotionally attached to them, even if in hindsight they weren't that amazing. On the other hand, I've also convinced myself that a guy wasn't that good in bed after there was some falling out.

 

The two (attachment and perceived ability) may be linked. That's not to say that a guy that I'm not attached to can't be good (or bad) in bed. But I think for many females, as long as there's a fairly decent level of attraction, we can be pretty forgiving.

 

Anywho, the most important part is being honest.

[easyguy]

I gave it some thought and realized that a strictly physical relationship is nothing I am genuinely seeking. Thanks for the replies , though.