This girl won't leave me alone!!!!

[jm1842]

After six years I caught her cheating. She calls me complaining about her man that she left me for. To be honest i've been weak and had sex with her a couple of times already. She tells me that she wants to leave him but doesn't want to hurt him. She wants me to go by her house and asks for rides from her work. It's like she wants me to get her busted. Not trying to sound like i'm all that but this guy she left me for is not college educated and is really fat and not good looking. She told me she left because i didn't have enough time for her. Now she's telling me that it's not what she thought and that she didn't know what she had until she lost it. Of course i did the wrong thing and told her that i love her and all that stupid stuff. Well anyway she let me take some pictures and I'm getting pretty pissed off and think that i might send one to her boyfriend. After all he knew that I was her boyfriend at the time. I'm thinking why not put a little hurt into his world. I know that's vindictive but she's really pissing me off. I've asked her several times to just leave me alone since she doesn't want to leave this guy. She keeps telling me that she loves me and wants to be with me. I don't know if she just wants that control or what. I just feel like blowing this all up in her face though. I told her would it help if i just change my phone number and just leave her alone. I had already and she was the one that wouldn't let it go. She told me "no, no I love you and want you. Besides I know where you work, live, and where your parents and family live and if you change your number I have a friend that works for your carrier and can easily get your new one." I almost just want to do this to her so she'll just hate me and leave me the hell alone. I told her that I'm weak but she's not giving me the chance to be strong and strike her out of my life because she won't give me the space. Is this girl just obsessed, crazy or what? Should I give the pictures and phone records and all that crap or what? I'm so mad right now and think that she deserves it. I just would like to know what you'll think. I mean I don't want to do it and have her blow up on me if you know what i mean. I beginning to think that this girl is just plain crazy. By the way she's only been seeing this guy for almost 7 months and dumped me only three months ago. I think that she is seeing that the grass is not greener!!! Any advice or help would be appreciated.

[tere]

I think that she is taking advantage because she can see that she is still in control, you have even tell her so by saying that you're weak and telling her how you feel for her. I also think that she is very insecure person because she acted wrong by cheating, though she still pursues you even with the other guy around.

 

You don't deserve that kind of treatment, and though it may be difficult that you set your limits and decide what is it that you really want to do... want to move on without her? tell her that... want her back? hmmm she has abused your trust once so....

[kipster]

After six years I caught her cheating. She calls me complaining about her man that she left me for. To be honest i've been weak and had sex with her a couple of times already. She tells me that she wants to leave him but doesn't want to hurt him....

 

Tough sitch jm. For me her cheating on me, would mean no going back. Even the sex would have been meaningless after she cheated even if I did have the urge to do that (which knowing me, I wouldn't even want to see her face). She betrayed your trust, left you for a guy that was noticeably less than you for the bogus reason that 'you didn't have time for her' and now see's the grass is cetainly not greener and wants you back? Is she kidding? She must be joking right? If I were you, I wouldn't do her dirty work for her. Don't hurt the new guy for several reasons JM. First, even if this guy did go with you girl when she cheated, HE CANNOT MAKE HER DO ANYTHING THAT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO DO. So her cheating on you is not HIS FAULT. Your issue should not be with him, its with her. So thereforeeee, I wouldn't break them up. This is the risk she chose, let her get herself out of it. Don't help her out of jealousy that she went to this guy. I repeat, your issue is NOT WITH HIM. Its solely with her. She wants to have her cake and eat it too and life doesn't work like that. If you honestly want no parts of her, as I assume you do, change your number, be unavailable for her, and if worse comes to work slap a restraining order on her. You tried the cordial approach and now she's becoming a bit over-bearing without having any regard for her actions. I DON'T KNOW WHY WOMEN/MEN MUST CHEAT ONLY TO FIND OUT THE GRASS ISN'T GREENER. Remember, a smart person learns from his/her mistakes. But a truly wise person learns from the mistakes of others. Cheating is simply a no-no. And your EX made a conscious choice to flirt with the unknown while giving up the known. She gambled and lost. Now she'll learn a valuable lesson that will help her in the future. And honestly, how could you EVER trust her again. Just think, she already did this to you once. What's next if you do get back with her. She'll beg and plead with this new guy and tell him she made a bad choice in going back to you and wants him to expose you like she's now asking you to expose him? And then this non-sense cycle continues again. Break the cycle and let her grow up so that no one's feelings have to be hurt in the future. She'll thank you later and be less likely to treat anyone in a way she doesn't want to be treated in the future. And the next time she'll think twice about cheating when some man can't be there for her 24/7.

 

Just my 2 cents,

 

Kip

[Mar]

Sending this new guy photos would accomplish nothing, I can promise you that right now. Why drag him into a battle between you and her? He knows nothing; leave him out of it.

 

As far as she goes, tell her you'll get a restraining order against her if she doesn't leave you alone. There's no need for this to be a battle; just let her know that you don't need the contact with her, and that, if she persists in contacting you, you'll get a restraining order against her, though you'd rather not take it to those extremes.

 

Be the bigger person here. Let her know that you'd rather she didn't contact you, and that her problems are her own. That you've moved on with your life, and that whatever problems she's having with her new man, it's not fair of her to dump them on her ex!

 

Mar

[jm1842]

What's crazy is that I still want her. I guess because I spent so much time with her. She called me 4 times today already. I didn't answer the phone at all because I know that it kills her not to know what I am doing. All of her friends tell her that she left me for a loser that's going to end up hurting her. She told me the same thing. I guess she's just looking to have fun. I offered her everything as far as spending the rest of my life with her. I don't think that she's that happy if she is crying to me and she has gained like 20lbs. A female friend of mine talks to her somtimes and tells me all the crap that she is going through and that she is always saying how she can't stop thinking about me, etc. I told her that if your happy I'm happy for you and that she should leave me alone so we can both get on with our lives. She keeps telling me no but all her actions say something else. I'm thinking that maybe she would just be happy if I'm unhappy and wind up with no one. I told her this and she said she's not ready to give up on us. She claims that she needs time. Time for what to still party and then come back when she's good and ready. I try to stay away and she just does things like coming by my work and all that bs to make me initiate contact. Is it true that she's going to come back and snap when I just blow her off and don't give a crap anymore? Is that what it's going to take? I'm so not me right now. I'm usually strong and confident and she's just turning me into everything that I know that I'm not.

[wigton]

She is using you! As far as you know, she may have cheated on you before. I think you need to have restraining order as well.