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Messed up a short lived but intense relationship, need advice

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Need advice....here's a run down of my situation.

- I'm in the process of a divorce

- started seeing a guy who had liked me for about 6 years, or in our mutual friends words "In love with me"

- We both feel hard and fast, him first then me..but we had to keep it kind of secrative because of my situation (not being divorced yet) and also had issues with having completely opposite parenting schedules which made it hard to spend time together.

- he had said he would take things at whatever pace I needed because he wanted me for so long and wouldn't want to loose me now for anything. He always was telling me he wanted, needed, loved and missed me all the time.

- then came stress at his work, a new boss that was out to get him and second guessed him in his position...it stressed him out.

- He stopped being as lovey and I took it personal rather than recognizing that he was stressed...this caused manor insecurity in me to come out and bottomline he decided it wasn't going to work, he still loved me, but couldn't do it anymore and felt like he wasn't giving me what I needed.

- I was absolutely devasted, on the weeks that followed I sent emails and texts that I now regret. I wasn't mean, I was just expressing how hurt I was and that I didn't understand....and all of those after he said he would talk to me, but to give him some time PLEASE! I obviously didn't, I couldn't seem to help my self.

- I have finally done NC, but only for 2 1/2 weeks....and we broke up a month and a half ago. He hasn't responded to any of my emails, just one where I was trying to make sure he wouldn't be at the same function I was going to, and the extent of the response was "I won't be there"....he only rsponded to one text, where I made a joke then followed it by that was suppose to be funny...he agreed it was funny and made a comment in regards to it and that's it.


I love him and miss him so much, after sometime to reflect and do a lot of reading and healing, I realized that I wasn't ready for that kind of relationship at the time due to the ugliness in my marriage...but I feel things could be different now. I took out my insecurity and mistrust that I feel was caused by my soon go be ex husband out on him and drove him away...that wasn't fair and I know this, besides when he was stressed at work he was nothing but loving and gave me no reason not to trust. Anyway, there are many more details to the things I did while being pathetic and insecure. I'm just wondering if there's stil any hope and what should I say when I finally contact him??? We were only together for 3 months, but both fell hard and fast....

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I know you're right...and since the breakup have finally got things rolling on what's likely to be an ugly divorce that I was dreading dealing with. I'm just afraid of waiting too long, our relationship was so brief...I feel like with every day that passes he'll just get over it even more, move on completely, etc

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  • 2 weeks later...

So, I sent him an email....after over 3 weeks of leaving him alone, now I regret it as it's been a day and a half, no response....I poured salt in my own wounds. I just don't know what to do, I think about him everyday, all day, the "empty" feeling in my gut won't go away....

I know the best thing would be to leave it completely alone and focus on moving on, and I've read all the "helpful" tips to do that....I just wish I could erase him from my mind.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi, I was just reading through this thread-and wondering, is it still getting easier? My situation has been similar. Together only 3 months but it was epic. Breaking up has felt like it is going to kill me-I'm strict with NC and have not initiated any contact since we broke up. But he has contacted me and contacted my friends about me. I finally answered him today and it felt like a sweet but final goodbye. I don't know if I will ever hear from him again and the pain is so bad. Please tell me it gets better.

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There was a point where I couldn't imagine not feeling that pain, physical pain of heartache....it so DOES get better...So much better!! I even heard from my ex finally on Monday after nothing for two months....and I'm still doing great. No desire to go back at this time, feel like I've been through too much and come to far.


Stay strong, time is really all you need...sorry that it does seem to crawl by at this time, but before you know it you've came out the other side.

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