Should I Possibly Make a Fool Out of Myself by Doing This?

[shyandsocial]

I need advice as to whether this is a lame-brained desperate idea or if I should go ahead and do this.

 

"Average Joe" was a manager that my company hired 3 months ago, but 2 wks ago, the company decided to eliminate his position and he was let go. It was not because he was doing a bad job. He was my superior, and I did not report to him. I was attracted to him from the beginning, and now that he's gone, I've been thinking about him constantly. We're a laid back and casual group of people. My company has a history of people dating within the company; many have since married their colleagues. I consider myself to be a friendly and well-liked individual at work, but do not flirt with other co-workers. "Joe" and I saw each other at work everyday, exchange a few words and occasionally play fight. I am 27 and he is 34.

 

Now that he's gone, I do not need to worry about office romance angle, but…there are no more opportunities available to get to know him better. He was too new to the company to form any bonds with any colleagues, so there is essentially no way to get to know him better.

 

Now, I just thought of this up, and wondered if this is a horrible idea and would potentially scare him off. I was thinking of sending a short message by snail mail. The message would be along the lines of "I've been thinking about you since you've been gone, if you're interested, email or call me" and then sign it off with my name and contact info.

 

-Would do you think of my idea?

-Am I making a fool of myself?

-Would it scare him off the fact that I found his address and am sending messages to his home?

-Since he left the company and I'm still there, would it be too embarrassing for him to respond to me even if he's interested?

-Should I wait a while before I send this message to him? Or should I let this attraction die and fade away from my mind?

We both live in the same big city, but I highly doubt I would ever see him again.

 

What else can I do?

Any feedback is welcomed.

[sisterlynch]

If you are interested in him and neither of you is dating, he may also be interested in you. It is hard to tell if he is or isn't by the way that you describe the situation. He may just be a nice sort of guy -- or he may see you only as a coworker or friend rather than anything more.

 

You may find more luck with something more indirect:

 

Hey Joe,

 

I hope that you are well. Miss seeing you around the place and I was wondering how your job hunt is proceeding. This place isn't the same since you've been gone, if you'd like to get caught up, maybe we could meet for coffee some time.

 

That way even if he is in a relationship, it shouldn't be so threatening to him.

[lillady898]

I would say go for it. You'll never know what will happen if you go for it! And what's the worst that could happen? He says no. It's not like you both know the same people where he can laugh and say, "Hey, you know this girl? She actually had the nerve of asking ME out." It doesn't hurt to try. (If he does act like that anyway, he's pretty immature and I would say stay away from that.) Let him worry about the whole, would he be embarrassed thing. That's his decision, and his deal. I'de say do it ASAP, because if you play the waiting-game, some other girl could nab him first. And as far as it scaring him, it probably wouldn't. He'll probably give you extra points for making the effort and a woman actually pursuing the man. So get at it and go out with that man!

[1Adam12]

You should go for it..you really should..

 

I think he'll probably be very flattered that you asked him out and will more than likely appreciate you making the first move.

 

If I were you I would just email him or better call him up and ask him how he's doing..whats he up to these days..was he able to get him a better job?..Then just say well why don't me and you get together one night and catch up on how things are going

 

Worse comes to worse is he'll say no but I really don't think he will..besides you never know unless you try

 

Keep us updated..

Phillip

[CarterJonas]

Yip. The two above posts are good.

 

a) the idea is good. The initial contact should be informal, friendly...along the lines of what sisterlynch said. You do not wan't to scare him off.

 

b) You are not making a fool of yourself. To start a relationship, someone has to take a chance and make the initial contact.

 

c)Where did you find his address. Again you will need to include an informal line in your short message!! to him about obtaining the address. Something like.

 

While I was searching through the personnel file for {make something up}, I came accross your address, which made me think of you.

 

and then go on to what Sisterlynch said

 

I hope that you are well. Miss seeing you around the place and I was wondering how your job hunt is proceeding. This place isn't the same since you've been gone, if you'd like to get caught up, maybe we could meet for coffee some time.

 

d) If he is intersted he will respond. Him leaving the job had nothing to do with you.

 

e) I would not wait. Again the wondering how your job hunt is proceeding is an nice ice breaker.

 

Being rejected is never easy but you could be pleasantly surprised! If he does says no, at least you wont have to see him again.

 

But until you try you never know.

 

go for it.

[Lily04]

Excellent posts thus far..I just wanted to add that I think it's a great idea, although e-mailing him is also effective & will probably reach him faster. I did a similar thing actually..I found the e-mail address of a guy I liked through his friend, and MSNed him and we talked for a bit..and then I met him yesterday and we decided to hang out and ended up going to a restaurant and having a great time. I think it's great when a girl takes initiative, and I never really felt like a fool doing it..someone has to take the first step after all..

 

good luck, and don't be too nervous! Just be casual about it, and I'm sure it'll work out fine =)