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Is he going to dump me? I just don't understand him


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Bit of background info: I’m 16, he’s 2 years older. We’ve been together for 5 months and a bit. He was the one to ask me out and he was also the one to initiate our first kiss which occurred about a month into our relationship (lol I know, kind of late but we’re both kind of the more reserved, shy-ish type of people). I’ve told him several times that I love him and care about him but I kind of refrain from doing it too much because he’s never said anything of the kind to me. (No “I like you”, “I care about you”, “I love you”, “I miss you”, etc.). His response the first time when I said that I love him was just “Really?” (with a smile) and then he kissed me. Don’t get me wrong though, he has said things in the past that definitely IMPLIED that he likes, cares about me, etc. For example, that he looks forward to the next time he says me. However, though occasionally he would say things like this and do things that made it obvious that he cares about me in the past, he really hasn’t done anything like that for a while and I’m basically the one making all the effort. He did still invite me to hang out, talk to me, etc. but it’s not the same.

The Point: We were talking online and I felt pretty upset so I said something like “I swear, if you don’t care anymore, will you atleast say so?” and a couple lines later I said something “So do you care?” And he said “I don't think this is really something you should discuss over MSN.” And he was right so I agreed but also said “But still, it’s just a simple yes or no.” and he said “Do you really want to do this over MSN?” and I said no obviously but really, doesn’t that imply the answer is a no? Then again, we usually refrain from convo getting too serious online.

Anyways, last night I was with him as well a bunch of our friends because we were all hanging out. The entire night, he was pretty distant. He didn’t say a word to me except when it was necessary to respond to things I said to him. He almost seemed to make an effort not to sit next to me at dinner. When my dad came to pick me up, he came to the door with me to hug/kiss me goodbye like we usually do. I leaned up to hug him and he just got this pained expression on his face and I backed off. He started to say something and then just said “I’m just trying to think of how to say this.” *pause* Me: “Well?” him: “I’m not quite sure how to say this.” *pause* Me: “Maybe you should just tell me later then?” He grabbed that opportunity instantly and said “Yeah, that’d probably be best.” I probably looked pretty upset and he looked like he was upset too because he knew I must be really hurt. And then I left.

Anyway, my question is: What does all this mean? Is he going to dump me like I think? A friend of mine who knows him in person like I do and knows how reserved and stoic he can be thinks that it might be something else because he and I have not had a fight and nothing serious has happened between us an all. More than anything for me, it’s just been a feeling that we’ve been drifting apart a little. But my friend thinks he wouldn’t just dump me for no reason. And just 3 weeks ago, our relationship was absolutely fine! Nothing’s happened since then and I hadn’t seen him since then actually. I’d be grateful for any advice!!! I really don’t want to lose him and I want to figure out what to say to him when we do finally talk about this.

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My guess is that, yes, he is going to break up with you. I disagree with your friend - he doesn't need a reason or fight to break up with you. Most likely his feelings changed, of which, you wouldn't want to continue being in a relationship anyway, if he no longer is as into you as you are him. When he tells you, stay composed as possible, and just accept it. Try to end it with as much grace as you can, since he's pretty much made up his mind at this point, it seems. You have the advantage of knowing what is coming so you can control your reaction better. I would then go into no contact at that point, as hard as it may be.


All the best.x

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