J-L-T Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 I've been talking to a guy on a dating site. We've been swapping 2-3 messages a day, since sunday. He sent me a message a while ago saying he's going to a festival, at the last minute. He didn't think he was going to go. He said he'll talk to me after the weekend. I was kinda hoping he'd ask for my number, but he didn't. Would you have given your number if you were him? Or would it be too soon in your opinion? I know we've only been talking a few days, he does seem interested though. The messages are quite long and detailed, asking questions etc. But I was wondering if you would have asked for a number, if you were away for the weekend and interested? Link to comment
gtturbo Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 personally i would of given out my number if i was interested. Maybe he didnt want to seem to keen. You could always leave him a message with ur number on for when he gets back Link to comment
sidehop Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 "Call me when you're back, here's my number!" Link to comment
J-L-T Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 I don't really want to suggest talking on the phone first. I'd rather he did it. I messaged him first, which he responded really well to. So I'd rather not be the one that asks about the phone first. He's in a band, and said his next gig is in August "you should come along!" I said "maybe I will" But I don't really consider that asking someone out on a date either... Link to comment
ToF Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 I don't really want to suggest talking on the phone first. I'd rather he did it. I messaged him first, which he responded really well to. So I'd rather not be the one that asks about the phone first. He's in a band, and said his next gig is in August "you should come along!" I said "maybe I will" But I don't really consider that asking someone out on a date either... Well it sounds like you're stuck, then. Is there a reason you don't want to make the first move? Link to comment
J-L-T Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 Didn't I make the first move by sending him the first message? I'm clearly interested in him. I feel more comfortable with the man doing a bit more at first. Link to comment
ToF Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Didn't I make the first move by sending him the first message? I'm clearly interested in him. I feel more comfortable with the man doing a bit more at first. Good point! Maybe he feels more comfortable with the woman taking a more active role? I know a lot of decent men online feel weird about being forward, because they're afraid of coming off as creepy. I think if you wait for him to make a move, you might be disappointed. If you like him, there's nothing wrong with taking that step yourself. Reach out and take what you want, rather than waiting for it to be given to you Link to comment
Sports Fan Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Didn't I make the first move by sending him the first message? I'm clearly interested in him. I feel more comfortable with the man doing a bit more at first. It doesn't mean he thinks you're interested. There's no reason to expect the man to do more at first. Not only is that outdated thinking, but it's sexist as well. If you do nothing, you're likely to get no where. If you would rather be politically correct, then do nothing. I would advise you swallow your pride and initiate something. Link to comment
J-L-T Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 It doesn't mean he thinks you're interested. There's no reason to expect the man to do more at first. Not only is that outdated thinking, but it's sexist as well. If you do nothing, you're likely to get no where. If you would rather be politically correct, then do nothing. I would advise you swallow your pride and initiate something. Really? If you got a message on a dating site, saying "you seem cool, and handsome" etc. and had been swapping quite long, detailed messages for four days. You wouldn't think she is interested? Does a woman actually have to say "I'm interested in you!"? What about scaring men off? Why would I get nowhere? If he wants my number hell ask, right? Link to comment
Sports Fan Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Really? If you got a message on a dating site, saying "you seem cool, and handsome" etc. and had been swapping quite long, detailed messages for four days. You wouldn't think she is interested? Does a woman actually have to say "I'm interested in you!"? What about scaring men off? Why would I get nowhere? If he wants my number hell ask, right? I've had women tell me I'm handsome. It doesn't mean they want to date me. If a man is interested in you and has self-esteem, he won't be turned off by you being forward. And no, there's no guarantee he'll ask for your number. Sometimes in life, you have to take initiative if you're interested in someone. Link to comment
J-L-T Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 Yeah, but surely it's different on a dating site. That's why most people talk to people on there - because they're interested! But okay. Maybe I'll send him my number when he messages me after the weekend. I just don't want to push him and seem overkeen. It's just we won't get to talk this weekend, so I thought he'd want to talk by phone. At least text or something. But who knows, it has only been four days... Link to comment
J-L-T Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 No I wouldn't have. Why not? Link to comment
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