feel like a shallow POS

[mmmd]

really like this girl i've been seeing.

 

except, today we finally got to really fooling around sexually...

 

and she took her shirt off... and her stomach is really unsightly.

 

she's not fat at all throughout her entire body, and you can only see a little bit of a tummy through the clothes, which i can handle.

 

but the way it looks is just really offputting.

 

i don't know what to do. i feel like such a jerk.

 

i know the standard responses:

 

"dump her so she can be with somebody who isn't so superficial."

 

ugh. i hate myself.

[misssmithviii]

If you are so put off by it, then don't be with her. Just remember that everybody has flaws, so to quickly write someone off for something so minute can come around and bite you in the back.

 

I have stretch marks and my stomach isn't as sexy as it used to be before I gave birth and every girl that my man had been with before never had this issue... but he kisses me there everyday to remind me of how beautiful I am, how gorgeous my body is, and how my mind is above all the most inspiring he's ever known.

If my man so quickly wrote me off because of that, I'd realize that he's not meant for me and that someday I'd find someone who could still find me attractive regardless.

 

I'd say that you have every right to have your preferences... but it's quite sad that you could really like a girl then become disgusted by this that could be gone with some diet and exercise - you yourself said she's not overweight at all (which is a perfectly fine preference).

[mmmd]

yea no crap it's sad. i feel like such a tool.

[misssmithviii]

Well are you going to completely write her off now?

[mmmd]

no, of course not.

 

i'm working out and dieting, so i'm going to try to...uhh.... help her lose some weight with me by asking if she wants to help me out by partnering up with me.

 

i can get over it anyway, it's just, ugh, i feel like crap.

 

it's just this weird, gelatinous kinda mother's apron... only she hasn't had any kids.

[misssmithviii]

*strike* ouch! "weird, gelatinous kinda mother's apron..."

 

Anyways, that's a good idea - motivate her.

[mmmd]

i feel awful. she's really awesome. i like her a lot. i don't demand perfection at all. god knows i can't tell her "if you lose that stomach, there's a good chance i'll fall in love with you."

 

god dammit. it was such a turn off.

[Cheetarah]

I'm sure she will get the hint by you asking for a workout partner at some point. I had a guy do that with me, which at first I thought was innocent but when he was watching every morsel I put in my mouth, I realized what his real intent was. Of course, I took it as an insult. There's no real nice way to insinuate to someone that this thing about them turns you off and if you fix it, it'll all be ok.

 

So...beware of that.

[mmmd]

yea... i know.

 

i'll just go for a lot of walks with her and cook a lot of healthy meals and hope that she goes along with it.

 

as for the rest, i'll just have to get over it.

[mmmd]

can't stop thinking about it. i feel awful.

[Sparkly Eyes]

just a little tummy? at least it's something she can change...How long had you known her before you got intimate with her?

[mmmd]

it's not the presence of a tummy, it's really sloppy. ugh. i feel awful.

[Sparkly Eyes]

perhaps you don't really like her as much as you thought. I can't see how the appearance of just one part (which can be changed) is this offputting for you. I think the typical response that you thought we would say does really apply here. There are men who really don't care about things like this. She would be happier with a man like that.

 

Also remember that bodies won't always stay the same. What if you get married, your wife gets pregnant and gets a lot of stretch marks on her belly? Would you wanna leave her?