LizzieD Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 Ex and I had broken up for about 10 weeks now. I went out with someone new a week ago (I just started in a new job -- which I changed to avoid interaction with the ex) and I like the new guy. He's funny, knows my geeky-lingo and he has charming smile (he's totally adorable The new guy seems to suit me better because he's more grounded and a planner (it's hard to find a guy who could plan for anything! so, the guy is a very rare breed Grounded in a sense he has plans for his life. An actual achievable ambition. The thing that I noticed afterward is that I get depressed. I don't know why. I broke NC with the ex (via email), he never responded and I sort of fell into this huge void. The new guy is great but I felt like I'm 'cheating' on the ex. I don't want to call the ex because I fear the moaning sound on the background (it's silly, but I really don't want to know if my ex's craiglist-random-sex plan thing had kicked in) and I just want to have some sort of re-assurance that dating again is fine. Should I wait for few weeks before dating the new guy again? Or can healing post-breakup and dating could go in parallel? Even GPUs have parallel processing and humanoid engineers designed it. It ought to at least apply in dating, yes? Yes? Damn you, depression! Link to comment
MsDexter Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 I went on one tonight as well it was great no guilt nothing lol just really want to be around him more now planning to see him again. I do feel a little weird though that after 3 years with someone in less then a month I am already out there lol and this new guy doesn't want to be a rebound said so himself so we are just spending sometime together for now but it doesn't feel wrong. I thought I would feel like you with the cheating on him thing but I didn't I am so surprised lol Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 wow I wish I 'd of found somebody so quick I've been on tons of dates and no second dates yet.itts really getting to me.its now TWO months Link to comment
Mustachio Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 You guys seem to be rushing things a bit. If you are still feeling that way about your ex, then its probably too soon. However, Lizzie, I would say just take it slowly, allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, but tell yourself that you owe nothing to your ex. Just let them develop and eventually it should feel natural, and if after more dates it doesnt then it probably means you arent ready to date yet. Link to comment
MsDexter Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 You guys seem to be rushing things a bit. If you are still feeling that way about your ex, then its probably too soon. However, Lizzie, I would say just take it slowly, allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, but tell yourself that you owe nothing to your ex. Just let them develop and eventually it should feel natural, and if after more dates it doesnt then it probably means you arent ready to date yet. The way I feel is more like maybe I should be still sad about the break up but I don't think I am. Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 The way I feel is more like maybe I should be still sad about the break up but I don't think I am. can i have some of that LOL i'm still sad at times over the breakup. Link to comment
MsDexter Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 can i have some of that LOL i'm still sad at times over the breakup. Hahaha sure Link to comment
LizzieD Posted July 11, 2010 Author Share Posted July 11, 2010 I would have taken a longer time if my ex has a high moral ground. An English guy with the craiglist-random-hookup plan in US? Er, not so much. Towards the end, I realized that he didn't respect me at all. I had done the whole 56nights of tears. On 57th, I snapped out of it. My new job helps too Geeks in ties and shiny, SHINY shoes.. Heavenly. That was the turn-around point that I realized that ex isn't special after all So, it's completely OK for me to date. Cool! I wish, someday, someone would publish dating handbook (with a chapter on post-breakup dating). It'd be easier for us, women! Link to comment
LizzieD Posted July 11, 2010 Author Share Posted July 11, 2010 can i have some of that LOL i'm still sad at times over the breakup. You may have some of my happiness How long have you been broken up? Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 You may have some of my happiness How long have you been broken up? 2 months nearly 9 weeks.hes moved on with some gal only 5 weeks or before after the breakup. its just crazy.we were in our 30;s and he acts like some 18 yr old and hooks up with somebody pretty quick. I think def he had intentions on her way before the breakup. Link to comment
LizzieD Posted July 11, 2010 Author Share Posted July 11, 2010 2 months nearly 9 weeks.hes moved on with some gal only 5 weeks or before after the breakup. its just crazy.we were in our 30;s and he acts like some 18 yr old and hooks up with somebody pretty quick. I think def he had intentions on her way before the breakup. Yeah, I think he does. That reminded me of my first ex, really. When I broke up with jerks (normally, I did the dumping -- my first ex was an exception as I was 'new'), I always said to myself: I am so lucky I didn't MARRY that guy. Otherwise, he'd be hooking up with girls while we were still married. I always count my blessing after my breakup. Try it, it's enlightening.. Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 Yeah, I think he does. That reminded me of my first ex, really. When I broke up with jerks (normally, I did the dumping -- my first ex was an exception as I was 'new'), I always said to myself: I am so lucky I didn't MARRY that guy. Otherwise, he'd be hooking up with girls while we were still married. I always count my blessing after my breakup. Try it, it's enlightening.. Mine was so not like this although he had a wandering eye that should of been a red flag right there. he even checked out agirl earlier this year and I called him on it.I should of known then he had lost interst in me.that was sign right there Link to comment
LizzieD Posted July 11, 2010 Author Share Posted July 11, 2010 Mine was so not like this although he had a wandering eye that should of been a red flag right there. he even checked out agirl earlier this year and I called him on it.I should of known then he had lost interst in me.that was sign right there Strange, men seem to behave in front of me but not when I'm out of sight. Oh! My ex once told me I'm acting like a wing-man when I'm around them. I have serious issues as I tend to check-out women for him when he's around. Sigh. Link to comment
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