Something that is interfering with my healing

[snoopydog]

My ex gf broke things off with me after 2 years at the end of december. It was my fault. We had a strong relationship full of love and laughter and I messed it up and broke her trust.

 

I was forced into nc and kept with it over the last 6 months. She broke it 3 times, and each time I asked for a chance to make it up to her but she said she hadn't forgiven me. I told her I would wait for her but she said it wasn't fair to keep me hanging on. She told me she loved me still but she also hated how I broke her trust.

 

She's now gone travelling around the world for 3 months and at the end she will decide whether to come back to this country or start a new life in her former country.

 

The thing that is interfering with my healing is that she is still single after all this time and a big part of me hopes she will come back after her travelling and have forgiven me. It's been 6 months and she is a very attractive outgoing young woman, and from her facebook there is no shortage of men hitting on her but she has chosen to remain single. If she was dating someone else I would know for certain that she wasn't going to give me another chance. Whereas now whilst she is still single I still have hope that she might forgive me.

 

I am getting lonely being single and want the company of another woman to share my life with but part of me is walking around with closed eyes whilst my ex is still single.

[annbuckley]

I feel for you and I totally understand. But actually, there is relief when they decide to do get involved because it allows you to properly grieve. It sucks yes, but it allows you a freedom. I am in the heat of it right now. My ex and I separated after a ten year marriage. Now it wasn't an easy marriage - but there was a deep love and it has been about two years of us trying and ending, trying and ending. I filed for divorce. I filed the Separation agreement June 10, and the Divorce papers July 9 and this weekend he is on a romantic weekender with a new girl. I am hurt - devastated actually - but there is finally a sense of closure. My moral belief is that once you lay down with another girl, you are done. I can't go back. So, I did what one of the other posters suggested. I imagined him on the pedestal that I put him on, and I kicked him off. Am I still obsessing - well ya. He is with another girl. - Ya I am beside myself, but when i look at it - I know that the closure I needed has been given. It hurts but we will get through it. I wish for you both - relief.

[snoopydog]

All the best in healing Ann.