Feeling Like Crap

[confused2010]

It's been about 2 months since I've had a real conversation with him. I think for the most part I've been ok, but tonight.... Tonight I stumbled upon a photo of him with her and I just lost it. Now I'm sitting here typing this and crying. I don't understand why. Not to pawn it off on things, but I think being a female and that time of the month is making my emotions run wild! lol!

 

I don't know, whatever it is, I'm feeling so bad right now. I don't know why. I know that if I love him I will let him go and find his happiness, even if it's without me. That is why I haven't spoken to him in the last 2 months, I know that is what's best for him and me. But right now it's hurting so, so bad. I still think of us getting back together, but i don't bank on it anymore. The chances of those may be slim, if none. I just want to be happy, I want him to be happy.

 

I use to count the days of us not communicating, but a few weeks ago I stopped counting. The days seemed to be better, the sun shinned brighter...but today, it's all down the tube. I seem to be back at square 1??! I don't understand how I could be hurting so much from just a photo. How? Why?

 

I'm ranting, I know, but it's probably better I get it out here than do something stupid like call him. I'd rather break down here where everyone will understand where I'm coming from....

 

Thanks for listening.....

[wheatgrass82]

oh babe big big hugs. you are totally right... well dont for coming on here and not calling him...

 

we can all identify with that pain... especially when seeing that photo... babe.. dont look at it..... and after you get sad and down.. start to get angry. who the hell is he or anyone for that matter to make YOU feel this way... !!!!!!!!!!! who the hell does he think he is....... get mad .. HE did this to you.. do NOT under any circumstance take it personally.

 

whatever he did to you.... there is no reason anyone should be made to feel anything less than wonderful by the person they love..... of course you are that upset over a photo... i would lol... heck..... i'll go outside for a walk.. and i see something that reminds me of him and i just cry. cry and power walk cry and power walk... then maybe ten mins later im angry as hell... all the while still missing and wanting something i cant have.. still loving him.. I know i could have him back in a second. BUT HE IS NOT GOOD FOR ME.. is anyone who can make you this sad good for you>? no he isn't.

 

i think it helps to listen to music..something to get the tears out then something to inspire you... i like janet jackson and missy elliot: son of a gun. do your self a favour right now and utube it!! now.

 

and use these forums!!!!!! they help me everday xxxxxxxxxxxxxx kisses and hugs to you precious girl

[sunday2010]

I feel your pain I feel the same way.two months gone and the days drag by and I know we'll probably never get back together.ilove him still to this day

 

today we would of met for the first time on 9/7/06

 

i will never forget.

 

hang in there i feel like you do.we have to get through this!!!!

[GenoGeno]

Yeah I'm really having a downer day and I don't really understand it. I was starting to feel so much better and barely even think about her...then it all came swooshing back in out of no where and has been hassling me for the last 2 days...I'm sure it will continue and then leave again and get farther in between. But it just sucks when you think you're in the clear for feeling better and your heart decides to start pumping for that person again. I sometimes wish i was inhuman.

[confused2010]

Thanks guys....I know we will all make it, one way or another....It just seems like when times are low they can get really low...music usually helps, but right now nothing seems to help, and I don't know why...and sometimes it seems like it would be nice to not have emotions...

[MalibuOne]

In time, maybe even tomorrow! you'll be in a better place. We all go through the really bad days and then the marginally better days. Some days are even good. Think of it as two steps forward, one step back. Then three steps forward one step back and soon...no one knows when...it's all forward motion. Hang in there!

[dancingcolors]

This winter I hurt so bad, I would just scream into my pillow, on the top of my lungs.

 

Sorry you have to go through this. It's crazy how many of us are.

 

I eat chocholate ice cream it helps. And the song "I will survive".

[confused2010]

Does it ever stop hurting??

 

We were together for 8 years...it's been over 7 months since the break-up. I know I'll never forget him because of all the time we shared, but does it ever stop hurting??

[dancingcolors]

I am hurting less. It has been 15 months, but it still hurts alot, alot of the time, but it is definitely better than it was.

[confused2010]

There seems to be a keyword there..."less"....

[MalibuOne]

Yes, it takes more than just a couple months of no contact to fully heal. But complete healing DOES occur in time. It's just that the amount of time varies from person to person. But I promise you it won't be so overwhelming as time goes on.

[confused2010]

Thanks guys. I'm feeling a bit better today. Unfortunately I think There are certain times when my emotions run wild and I just don't know what to do with it all... Just a waiting game I guess.

His nephew is having his baptism this weekend and his sister invite me. I am still very close to his family and they have helped me so much emotional through these last few months and I really want to go, but I don't think it would be a good idea because he'll be there and it feels like it just hasn't been enough time yet. I just feel so cheated.. His family is as much if not more family to me then him, and now I can't go to any family functions...