Are they being "secretive" or what?

[Celadon]

I've been wondering about this for awhile. Why do some people NOT talk about their social lives? Are they being secretive and if so, why??

 

I have one friend who will always talk about certain things -- work, family, etc. BUT, she'll never say, "I got together with so-and-so and we went to the movies, etc..." I thought she just didn't have a social life, but I recently mentioned I was hanging out with this guy and casually asked if she knew him, and she did! So she's obviously getting together with some people.

 

I've got another friend who will always say he was with "a friend." He'll almost never say who it is. "I went to the concert with a friend...." Meanwhile, when I say I did something, he'll ask me who I was with.

 

I feel that being open with your life is part of friendship. I don't understand these friends who act like there's something to hide or be private about.

 

Can anyone tell me what's up with this?

[1Adam12]

Some people just like keeping that stuff secretive..almost like they don't want you to know they are goin out with so and so ..

 

People are just hard nuts to crack I guess..

 

Phillip

[jessijess]

another thought is that they may be major partiers but want to keep a professional image at work. I have a friend who I happen to work with (I knew her from outside of work first) & hardlly anyone knows that she gets drunk almost every weekend, has both nipples pierced, goes to Woodstock reunion every summer, ect...... At work she's very professional & keeps moving up the corprate ladder

[mahlina]

That's funny that you ask. Sounds just like my group of friends. We talk. We hang out and all. We share our laughters, and other 'funny' stories, sometimes sad ones. However, we tend not to get into details. We're not detail oriented. It's not that all of the detail stuff is 'secretive.' Somehow, we just don't always talk about the guys we date and know. To us, it's not a 'big' deal, until we really consider that person as someone that we want as an 'official' boyfriends, someone permanent in our lives.

 

I guess it's more like people just like to keep certain things private, verses other things public. This is what we tend to not do: "dwell'' on our emotions. Instead, we hang out, and if we need to talk about 'serious stuff,' then we will. But pretty much, we like to keep this 'image' as being strong, I guess. Weird isn't it? I guess talking about emotions is more like getting into depressive moods, in which we all have an understanding that those 'depressive moods' are temporary, and that it's not the end of the world. But if we need that girl bonding for advice, then we don't mind giving it to each other. Again, we just don't like to get emotional all of the time. And the guys that we do talk about are often someone 'exclusive,' our boyfriends. Other than that, we don't really talk about the guys that we casually date, or keep in touch with. That's my imput, about the tendencies among my group of friends. Mahlina

 

P.S.- Try not to take it personal if they don't share certain info. Perhaps they have their minds set on other things, other than guys. Maybe their just really busy with their lives. Hope this helps. Take Care.

[Dreng3333]

Alot of people just dont like to discuss it. It could be for alot of reasons. I agree with Mahlina, its not that they are being secretive nessisarily, maybe they just dont have a habit of talking about stuff like that.

[Diet Grrl]

Some people just don't find that area of their life to be important. I don't think it's a big issue, some people just on't like talking about themselves, too. I dunno, don't think too much of it.

[Celadon]

That's what I love about this site -- people have perspectives I never even thought of! Well, thanks everyone.

 

I guess I am a detailed person, so it never occurred to me that some people think telling who you're hanging out with could be an "unnecessary" detail. I can see that.

 

Yeah, same thing with whether people think it's important or not to share that stuff. I just took it for granted that it is -- again, the "openness" thing -- but I can understand people don't feel the same way. Maybe, just for kicks, I'll try it the other way, and see how it feels. Okay, thanks again!