Life? why did i get dealt this hand?

[osagun]

So its almost 2 months now with NC. Yet, I still feel this emptiness and loneliness. Don't get me wrong, I am hanging out with my friends every chance I get to. I'm trying to meet new people and go on dates, but when it comes down to it, I don't know what really makes me happy.

 

I mean, the thought of my ex-fiance crosses my mind everyday. but there is atleast one day where it all hits me (like right now). My feels go as:

 

1. I get this sudden urge to look at her facebook account to see what her updates are and pictures. I get the urge but i don't. I blocked facebook and cancelled my account, but i sometimes find myself googling her and I make myself stop there.

 

2. I also, keep thinking that she is with another person. Thinking of how much fun she is having and that use to be us. I try not to think about it, but i do. I know i should be going out having a good time, but when I am out i try my best to have fun, but then come home to the house we bought together alone.

 

3. I hate the fact that this has affected my parents and my close friends. First, I want to tell my parents how i am feeling, but they get mad at my ex-fiance and start calling her all these names for leaving me the way she did. It really doesnt help me if my parents keep telling me she's a " * * * * * " or can you see this is affecting us. As for my friends, they hear the same stuff over and over, and they say "well your grown up, you'll do what you want to do, you dont listen to us"

 

I feel alone. Because of this break up I am financially unstable (bought her a car which i had to take back). I very emotionally and mentally scared by the way she left me (she walked out on me and said it was over through a text message).

 

I feel like she has the upper hand and is now enjoying her life, while im here trying to enjoy my life, but I am just not happy. How fair is that?

 

When will it be my time to be happy? I keep praying every night, but it just seems like the man upstairs isn't listening.

[biggerheart]

You will not be happy when you are still wondering if she is happy. Her happiness is not yur concern now. Put all your focus on your happiness. Set goals that don't involve your friends. Running, new hobby, getting out of debt. Focus on those and the time will pass and you will shift your life into a new routine. Easier to write than do, I know, but we have little choice.

[odile]

Ask your parents to stop talking about her.

They may be on your side, but the constant reminders of what she has done is not going to help you let go and move on. Anger can be very draining.

Give yourself time.

You bought this girl a car, and she dumped you by text message?

So, I don't know the full story, but if you two were seriously involved, and she dumped you via text, then she sounds like the kind of person that you'll be happier without in the long run.

You may hurt right now, but you will heal.

She on the other hand, will still be the kind of person who dumps people via text (i.e., shallow trash).

Eventually you will be glad that things ended when they did, leaving you free to love yourself, and others who are worthy of your heart.

[sahasupa]

2 months is really not that long. Keep your NC.