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Am I being paranoid?? IDK but something is not right.


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Sooo, I have been dating this guy for 5 weeks. He is a very smart, smooth talking, outdoorsy military man

Last weekend I got a weird text message from him:


"Baby, I have this female friend athlete with whom I would like to train for a triathlon and I need your blessing"

I did not answer this text...so he freaked out and wrote:

"But don't worry, she is got a Long term boyfriend in NY"


We were hanging out that same day in the afternoon & he brought it up again, this is how it went:

Me: "Why have I never ever heard of this female athlete friend of yours????"

Him: "ohhh, you met her, remember????? last weekend at the race??? (race which I went with him but was not able to participate due to an injury, and yes I did see her and I saw his eyes going all over her too, I never met her nor I spoke a word to her...)

Me: "Hmm, I got a weird feeling about her, you were looking at her the way you look at me"


Long story short, he told me I was crazy but he did not wanna make me feel uncomfortable so he was going to listen... & I didn't believe a word...so I went through his phone and found out he told his friend he is still seeing her for a triathlon, he told me he was going to work should I show up to the triathlon just to prove he is a big fat liar????????? and then proceed to dump him????

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Wow, you went through his phone already? This sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen. If you already don't trust this guy, tell him you don't think it's gonna work out between you two and keep your distance. He WILL come back if he really likes you. Guaranteed.


By the way. Why do girls do that (go through guys' phones)? I've had to password protect my phone because of that. I'm single, but there's this girl who really likes me and she's gone through my phone like she's my gf because she gets jealous that I talk to other chicks! That makes me not want to be with her. Luckily for you girls, guys are always willing to remain friends with a girl, even if the girl is a freak.

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It seems like he doesn't want you to further misunderstand him and hence he lied to you. I mean, you would somewhat panic if he told you the truth right? It's sort of like a white lie i guess but still a lie. Why don't you let him know that you know and see what he says?

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First of all, he should be able to run a race with anyone he chooses, male or female. Secondly, going through someone's phone is not okay. For his part, he shouldn't be lying to you. He should have just broken up with you when you tried to tell him he couldn't run a race with someone.


There is already so much drama and you've only been dating for five weeks. Don't create more by showing up at a race and making a scene. Either accept that he is running with her, and address that he lied about it, or break up with him as soon as you can.

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you got yourself into a pickle if you're wanting to bring it up, kid... just be honest with him. tell him you went through his phone and saw the text message concerning his plans to run with her during the race. let him know that it concerns you and why. he's probably going to freak on you for going through his phone... rightfully so because you should not invade someone's privacy... but you're not going to get anywhere with him by keeping silent about the way you feel. you went through his phone and you owe him an apology. he lied to you and he owes you an apology - i'd start there.

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Mature, confident women do not go through guys' phones. Insecure people do that. Hopefully as you meet different people in your life that will become less of a problem.


Rubbish. This dude is lying to you about spending time with a woman. Simple. And unacceptable. You're not paranoid or crossing any boundaries. I would never be in a relationship with someone lying to me about opposite sex relationships.

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