How soon to date again after breakup? It is with a close friend..

[curteese]

Ok, so I am officially on Day 29 of my breakup from a serious relationship, and I feel like I am just now starting to get over it. I am sadly only on Day 2 of NC, and this is the 2nd time I have tried NC this week. I know, I'm bad...But, I really feel strong this time, and I feel stronger because of a very close friend who has been there for me the whole time...I have known this friend for a couple of years, and we have always clicked really well. We went on a "date" last week, and had ALOT of fun, although I must say I was not all there the entire date, and she could tell, but had fun anyways, and made me smile as much as possible. Now, she has been texting and calling me all week, and seems to be into me more than a friend. I could be reading the signals wrong, but I don't think so. We have a lot in common, and she has gone through recent heartbreak as well, but she has completely moved on with her life already.

 

Anyways, she is the one initiating the conversations every day and at first I was having trouble even holding a conversation with her, because I have someone else on my mind. She recently invited me to meet her family for an upcoming weekend, and I have never met her family, so I think it's a good sign that she wants me to be around her family. I'm realizing that I would be stupid to brush this all off, because she is a wonderful girl. She is gorgeous, faithful, caring, has a head on her shoulders, and has always been there for me. She is so many positive things that my ex wasn't. It feels really good to be chased by a girl again, especially this girl. I don't know how long it's going to be before I can "feel" again, but should I continue and try to pursue something here..? She knows I'm not ready for a relationship by any means, and she isn't either. But, is it too soon to pursue something..? I don't want to set myself up for a rebound...But, I was the one who was dumped.

[Brigadoon]

I'd say that you should take it easy here.

By all means continue the friendship and see where things go but don't let yourself take it too seriously. She sounds like a lovely girl and the biggest risk here is that this relationship could actually just become a way of acting out the hurt from your previous one. You risk unknowingly treating her as a "whipping boy" for past hurts that had nothing to do with her.

Be honest with her, I have a friend who went through exactly the same thing as you and she was completely honest with her now boyfriend that she needed to take it slow. Luckily he understood and they've been together a year and are such an amazingly close couple with such a healthy relationship.

I don't believe that a relationship started just after a breakup has to be a rebound but I think it takes a lot of maturity and self awareness to avoid taking things too fast in order to avoid processing the hurt and replace all those things that have been lost with the departure of a former partner.

I think that as you have been friends previous to this then you won't be as prone to seeing each other through rose tinted glasses either which is positive.

[deleted-account]

I'd say wait until you're able to do NC for 30 days or so. If you're not able to do that, then you aren't ready.