How can I break the cycle of my own stupidity?

[dwadegirl]

October 2006, I first met and dated my ex-boyfriend. We stopped talking for a few months. We got back together in June 2007. At the time I was 25 and still a virgin. But I decided to have sex with him. Our relationship was mostly just sexual. During the course of the relationship, one of the ways he showed financial instability was by not paying his cell phone bill on time (and as a result the phone would often be cut off each month). So in March 2008, his phone was cut off and stayed that way for weeks. So he basically disappeared from March to November 2008. Of course I considered this a break up. In Nov '08, he showed up outside of my house saying he is sorry for how he left things and should have been honest with me about what was going on (basically there was something going on with him and another woman at the time). So for a few weeks we talked and I decided to take him back. So from November 2008 to April 2009, we were back together. April 2009, I decided to break up with him because I wasn't sure if he was what I wanted or if we were truly compatible. So after 3 weeks (after I had already returned the key to his apartment), I went to his place to talk things out. He is originally from Jamaica. So as we were outside talking, a woman walks up and asks if I'm his girlfriend because she is his wife. They start yelling at each other and he says she agreed to pay him money if they get married so that she can obtain her U.S. citizenship (she is also Jamaican). He and I broke up and stayed that way for a year. Here's where I am stupid: a month ago we got back in contact with each other, it started with texts then phone convo and finally we actually saw each other in person. He said he and the wife were separated and in the process of a divorce. The first meeting was talking and we ended up kissing. The second meeting was talking and we ended up having sex. Then last week I get restricted calls from the wife saying that she is not with him and we can have each other. Then a few days later she calls me FROM HIS CELL PHONE and says she is with him and I shouldn't bother calling or texting (while he was in the background watching all this happen; I heard his voice so I know he was there). Of course I am through with him, but I am so angry with myself because things should never have gone this far. He and I have had this cycle for a couple of yrs now and I don't want to keep repeating it....

[preciousgirl82]

Wow, what drama!! Well, you cant go back and change the past so dont beat yourself up over it. Sometimes we all do crazy things for love but the most important thing is that you grow from it and learn from your mistakes. You really need to run FAR AWAY fro this guy. He has too much drama going on in is life. Regardless of his reason for marrying this woman (love or her citizenship), he's going through a divorce and you dont need this woman contacting you with all this madness. Not to mention, I dont know how you managed to forgive him after that original 8 month absence. That was crazy. I dont see you making the same mistake again. You're still young. Dont give your body, or your heart, to anyone who hasnt treated you right and who doesnt deserve it. Love yourself with the same intensity as the love you've given him and i bet you'll be much smarter with love next time it comes your way.

[dwadegirl]

Thank you so much precious! Yes, I do have to stop beating up on myself. That's what is so hard about this...being upset with myself for taking him back b/c a lot of this would not have happened. But I do have to make sure that I move on or else the cycle will keep repeating. I'm seriously thinking about changing my phone number....