Hurting right now, need advice

[kelly155]

I'm living with my mom and it's been nothing but fights and arguments almost everyday. My mom has problems in her life that effect the entire family. It effects me the most because right now I'm the only one living with her. I feel like there are days when she makes things complicated for no reason and we end up arguing and being upset at each other. It's come to the point where we don't even talk to each other.

 

I take blame for my part, I know there were times where I should have just shut my mouth and said nothing. But I wish she would admit that she is wrong too, but she is way to stubborn.

 

I've been waking up with this horrible gut feeling for days. I decided to go and talk to her yesterday and make things better. But when I approach her she was upset and starting saying things like....I, in her eyes wasn't her daughter anymore and then she proceeded to give me all the photos of me including all the babies one. It hurt me a great deal! Basically she said that she was disowning me and that I should move out.

 

I didn't know what to do. First, I don't have the funds to move out, trust me I am trying and have plans to do so! I wish things can come to me faster.....so that I can be in control of my life.

 

I think I'm depressed. In the past few months, all this fighting has hurt me so bad! I can't stop crying....I cry everyday! I can't eat and have a really hard time sleeping. I've been worrying a lot.

 

I have talk to my siblings about all that has happened. They suggested that I not talk to her and leave her alone for now. But how do you live with your mom and NOT talk to her? I really want to make things better soon. What should I do? and if I leave her alone when is the best time to approach her? 1 week? 2 week?

[lostgirlaus]

I'm in practically the exact same position as you. Everyone I tell says to "avoid her and not talk to her" but that's not possible. You can't avoid and not talk to the only other person in your house. Is there any place you can live for awhile? With family/other siblings? Maybe you need some time apart to cool down and then have a talk?

[stormie]

I used to be in a similar situation. My mom and I cannot live together as I do not like her "system" and her temperament. - Fact is my mom doesn't get along with anyone.

 

Long story short, I just started to make plans with goals and I kept those in mind to keep my sanity.

 

For example: I planned getting a job. When I got the job, I planned in saving X amount of dollars to move out.

 

Little by little I saved my money until I either found a roomate or a room of my own.

 

When my mom would get on my nerves or try to argue with me, I'd envision how I would someday accomplish my goal.

 

And guess what: The day came when I had enough money saved and got my own place.

 

Funny how now that I have my own place, my mom and I get along very well.