nguyenal Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Somehow I started to miss him. I think he is back to his apartment after a month and 1/2 of going away. I feel like I want to send him a message and see him tonight. It is such a bad idea. My brain is telling me not to do it but there is a urge in my heart. I hate this feeling. I feel so empty and alone now. Link to comment
DeenasRhino Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Don't do it, maintain no contact. This phase you're going thru will go away. Link to comment
thinovate Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 You're going to do it whether we tell you not to. And if you hold back now, you'll eventually just crack. I think if you can hold off 12 months without texting him you should be good and beyond the point of no return, but if you crack everything after 1.5 months, it's just going to delay the progress you are trying to make. Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 19, 2010 Author Share Posted June 19, 2010 Yeah. You guys are right. I am trying to reason with my brain right now. Gosh this really sucks. I think he is expecting me to contact him since he knows that I know he is back. Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 19, 2010 Author Share Posted June 19, 2010 I am going out on a date tonight with someone new. I don't know if that is going to help. Gosh my heart is aching. Seriously what is love? Why does it hurt so much. Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 19, 2010 Author Share Posted June 19, 2010 On an emotional roller coaster now. I am getting ready for a date and at home alone, so I scream a bit to release the missing feeling and tension. Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 19, 2010 Author Share Posted June 19, 2010 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it hurts so freaking bad. I don't want to love. I am scare to love someone again. I opened up myself twice and each time, it hurts even more. Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 It really does not sound like you are ready to date. Link to comment
Onegirl Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 compare your ex cravings to food cravings and willpower your way through. Unless its chocolate I have no willpower. This is going to sound horrible.. but what works for me is to picture him in bed with *her* and then I can willpower my way through all wanting to contact. Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 20, 2010 Author Share Posted June 20, 2010 I did not contact him yet. I just got home from a date and now sitting here and I feel like I want to cry. I feel so alone and empty. I want to reach out to him and ask him if I could come right now...to see him. Link to comment
DeenasRhino Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 Did he dump you or did you dump him? Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 I am sorry for your pain but as I mentioned earlier you are not ready to date yet. You are compariing him to your ex and he has no chance of livinig up to that expectation while you are still grieving the loss of your ex. Do not call him or reach out to him be strong this feeling will pass. Link to comment
iBroken Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 I just want to heal. There is no hope to get him back. I have no place in his heart. I just want to be happy and live a greater life. He makes me sad. I realized that I am lonely without him but I am sadder with him. He doesn't give me what I want. It was always me who cared. Re-read what you posted in another thread and stick with it. You do not want to contact this man. Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 20, 2010 Author Share Posted June 20, 2010 I got through it and I did not contact him. Our breakup was his fault. I am still feeling a bit blue today but I will stick to it. Cry with the pain I guess and it will go away soon. Be strong. Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 20, 2010 Author Share Posted June 20, 2010 I honestly don't believe that love exists anymore. Link to comment
iBroken Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 ^ Ya, me either - but surely that will go away in time when we meet someone that shows us that Love really does exist. Keep strong Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 20, 2010 Author Share Posted June 20, 2010 yes I am trying my best to keep strong and thank you for supporting me emotionally. I don't believe in love so much that I feel like I want to stay single for the rest of my life. Now, I basically push all the guys that I have been talking to away. I am tired. Link to comment
mca1975 Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Really proud of you for not contacting him, well done. It is very very difficult. Just ride out those strong urges and do whatever you need to, cry, wail, whatever.... Maybe dont go on any more dates, they are likely to make you feel worse. If you look back on these threads, you will laugh at them in three months time. Always remember, that staying NC is better than getting back in contact with someone who hurt you and didnt care enough. Remember you said you were sadder with him, I was the same with my ex. I left him because of it. Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 21, 2010 Author Share Posted June 21, 2010 Yes. I am happy when I see it but that only lasts for a few hrs then after that, he would ignore me and said, "I am too busy." Then we don't talk then I will be sad and start to miss him. It is always like that. A constant battle with full with hope when I am with him and that lasts for like 2 days, and the hope dies and yes, I cry. Link to comment
MsDexter Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 I am getting one of those "want to contact him feelings" especially in the mornings but I deleted his number from everything so I don't know it lol. I know his e-mail obviously and there is the msg sending bit for Facebook it's killing me sometimes how many times I just want to msg and e-mail him. But I will not do it ](*,) Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 21, 2010 Author Share Posted June 21, 2010 Well the good thing is I forgot his fone number. Odd huh? I know he is home right now after a month and 1/2 away and in fact, he is free tonight after his huge exam. If I talk to him right now, then I can see him tonight. I guess the fact that he is back is a huge set back for me. There is still hope that I can see him but I won't do it. I just want to move on. I have self-respect. I have to bite the pain and just move on. I cannot chase after something that does not want me. I just cannot. Link to comment
MsDexter Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Well the good thing is I forgot his fone number. Odd huh? I know he is home right now after a month and 1/2 away and in fact, he is free tonight after his huge exam. If I talk to him right now, then I can see him tonight. I guess the fact that he is back is a huge set back for me. There is still hope that I can see him but I won't do it. I just want to move on. I have self-respect. I have to bite the pain and just move on. I cannot chase after something that does not want me. I just cannot. I know the feeling my ex works 15 mins walk away from my house Mon-Fri =( I have had the urge to just go and wait for him outside that's how sad it's getting Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 21, 2010 Author Share Posted June 21, 2010 yeah. It is a set back when they are so close by. I just think about going to his place and be closed to him and have a fun movies night. But we live 45 mns from each other and it was always me that had to drive to see him. I don't want that kind of relationship anymore and it made me feel so unloved. Link to comment
MsDexter Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 yeah. It is a set back when they are so close by. I just think about going to his place and be closed to him and have a fun movies night. But we live 45 mns from each other and it was always me that had to drive to see him. I don't want that kind of relationship anymore and it made me feel so unloved. Just keep thinking like that it'll help I keep telling myself if he is OK away from me then I am OK too. Link to comment
nguyenal Posted June 21, 2010 Author Share Posted June 21, 2010 I told myself love does not exist. It is just illusion and all in your head. Link to comment
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