Is it ever ok to ask, "what did I do wrong?"

[locolady]

Thoughts please. I'd really like to know the answer to this question but hold back asking because it seems so confrontational but in dating, do you have anything to lose? You've lost any chance of anything happening when they walk away anyway so should you just ask, "what did I do wrong?

 

Am so tempted to text him right now so please answer asap!

 

 

Can we just ask this or is it out of bounds? What can we learn from repeated rejection if we never ask this question? Yet, is it a mental girl question to ask?

 

Thank you!

[IntotheWild]

No. You'll never get an honest answer anyways.

[guynextdoor]

I highly doubt anybody will brutally honest with you.

[Ebrithil]

When I was asked that question repeatedly by my ex it frustrated me to no end, partly because it was odvious and I didnt like being harsh and yelling at people.

 

So it depends how you ask it can just feel like a guilt trip, with the only way out making yourself look like the bad guy, my point being you might not get an honest answer. My answere is based on my own situation though which was quite hostile so it depends on your circumstances.

[savignon]

I agree that you might not get an honest answer at this point. After some time, you could reach out and ask what he thinks changed as you consider how to be a better partner (only if that's true and if you're ready to hear the answer).

[Flint_Wood]

I do that when girls I never got too serious with decide to stop dating. "So I know what to do better next time, what do you think I could improve about myself?"

 

Works for short term relationships because there's less attachment, and less fear of hurt feelings. Longer relationships, yeah, you probably won't get an honest answer anyways. I've never asked.

[TakingtheBlame]

I often ask the same question, but really, what's the point? It's probably nothing you DID but maybe something you ARE. Maybe you're too religious, not religious enough, too clean, not clean enough, maybe the guy is just crazy....who knows. Different strokes for different folks...many people will leave us and probably all for different reasons, so no sense in trying to "change for the better."

[IntotheWild]

Hire a dating coach. That's the only way you'd get any honest feedback.