in an idiot. Pleaseee help.

[sevenonine]

Ok me and my girlfriend have been doing long distance for about 2 months.

 

I have a extremly bad temper, OCD aswell as ADHD.

Im EXTREMLY impulsive, and say alot of stupid things.

 

 

We'll this girl i really really like, and we tend to argue a bit.

 

Sort of been on a rough patch lately, and with us being long distance its extremly hard.

 

 

Tonight, we had a huge argument and 2 things slipped out that i did not mean.

I don't understand why i say them.

I said, I hope you get hurt, then i said if she continues to lie to me i'd kill her.

 

Now the SECOND i said that, i realized i was wrong but she hung up and turned off her phone (Which i understand)

 

I tried calling her etc, eventually got through, and apologized realized how wrong i am.

 

Now right now she doesn't want to talk. I think she wants to break up.

 

previous to me she was in a abusive relationship and the guy actually threatened and i believe he may have tried.

 

 

I did no mean that in anyway.

 

Growing up i used to snap to my parents, and saying i would kill them would be a common sentence.

I know it is wrong, it slipped to my girlfriend and i deeply regreat it.

 

How should i handle this situation , should i not call her anymore and just give her the space she wants?

 

(I do have a psycitrist appointment on monday thankfully , so i will be discussing it) However, i have bad feeling and i want to fix it.

 

My ocd is saying to call and call and call and talk to her , but i don't know if i should talk to her right now or not.

 

Please any advice helps, i understand what i said was completely uncalled for, and i understand its wrong , and illegal.

 

I did no intend on saying it, it was completely impulsive.

[savignon]

My advice is to let her be and solve or at least manage your own issues first before you get into a relationship. If a girlfriend of mine was dating a guy who said to her at any time (nevermind 2 months in) that he hopes she gets hurt and is going to kill her, I'd be helping her call the cops. Back off (like all the way off) and tend to your own anger/impulse management. Ask your therapist to tell you when he/she thinks you're able to be in a relationship.

[metrogirl]

I would be absolutely freaked out if my boyfriend said that to me, more so if I was in a previously abusive relationship.

 

You really need to give her space. If you keep calling after she has already expressed that she doesn't want to talk to you, it could be seen as threatening or harrasing.

 

It's good that you have an appointment with a professional. Please stick with your appointments and maybe in time she'll see that you are dedicated to helping yourself.

[sevenonine]

its not 2 months in, its alot more however i do understand where you are coming from.

 

I was completely wrong.

[savignon]

She might understand that you "didn't mean it" and that you have some issues, but that does not make it okay and it is STILL scary behavior and therefore it's not okay for her to be in a relationship with you. You seem to understand that well enough. If you care for her, then let her be and work on yourself until you're in a better place.

I like that you take responsibility for your actions...when you choose the behavior, you choose the consequence. Work on making better choices and quieting your impulsiveness.

Best wishes.

[sevenonine]

is there anyway to fix it, without losing her?

[savignon]

Not as I see it. You need to fix you for you...not to get her back.

[SocialStigma]

Honestly I think you should just let her go and learn from this.

 

If my boyfriend ever said that he wants me to get hurt and threatened to kill me, I'd dump him immediately and tell him to never contact me again. Please don't continue to try and get in touch with her, she could be legitimately scared and you don't want charges/restraining order pressed against you.

[geekgirl4]

I agree with the others, there is no way to do both. Let her go and concentrate on working on yourself first.