Whats happening

[andi8172]

Ive been at home all day today just laying in bed crying to myself,now ive got up the urge to hurt myself has come again im not cutting yet but burning my arm i know its wrong and ill cover them up tomorrow but no one ever asks about previous scars.Why am i doing this? the hurt on my arm takes my mind off other things god why ?

[doityourself]

Does anyone know that you cut?

[andi8172]

hello do it yourself thanks for being here but im not cutting myself just hurting

[fLuiD]

Is there any way that you can do something else to keep yourself busy? Naturally, its hard to keep your mind busy, but if you keep yourself physically busy you may be able to learn to ween yourself off the self-injury. Go outside walking aimlessly or go jogging.

[Girlwednesday]

andi Im concerned for you , I saw you were online and want to send you a message, but doesnt seem that this site allows personal messages..

 

I have been feeling overwhelmed myself, so i really feel for you,,,,;let me know if you want to chat.

[No One]

Burning isn't better than cutting. Is it bad for you?

[doityourself]

Hope today has been a better day.

[andi8172]

Hope today has been a better day.

 

it was ok when i started but it justwent on there cant be too many tears left

thanks for asking hope yours was ok?

[andi8172]

as a believer in signs i have to say thats twice ive heard leave right now since i cut my ugly face and i cant help it i want to do it again and again ..

[andi8172]

so evan on a better day ihave to cut myself its been two days since i last cut myself im holding off burning my arms until some of the blisters have faded a bit but i just cant stop cutting where no one can,see i cut my face just the once and people kept looking at me.and now ive cut my neck not serious but i cant help it i started the day fairly good by my life but i have to cut i kind of like the faint scar arond mywrist and the other day my right hand picked up the knife but my left hand pushed it away

HAS ANYONE ELSE HAD THAT REACTION?

[mark_e]

Hello andi. Props to you for fighting your urges. Keep trying! What is your motivation for cutting your face and neck? Do you want everyone to see?

[No One]

" cut my face just the once and people kept looking " - LOL; yeah... I did that a few times, just a few little cuts on my face - man, how suddenly everyone is interested in you and wants to grill you. As much as I would like to do my entire face, just the thought of everyone's annoying interest over a few small cuts is disenheartening....

[andi8172]

Hello andi. Props to you for fighting your urges. Keep trying! What is your motivation for cutting your face and neck? Do you want everyone to see?

no id rather no one looked or spoke to me i just hate looking at myself and i find i cant help but hurt myself

[andi8172]

" cut my face just the once and people kept looking " - LOL; yeah... I did that a few times, just a few little cuts on my face - man, how suddenly everyone is interested in you and wants to grill you. As much as I would like to do my entire face, just the thought of everyone's annoying interest over a few small cuts is disenheartening....

 

yeah they only want to find out how it happened so they can talk about you behind your back !

[mark_e]

Why do you hate looking at yourself? You mean that you look at yourself in the mirror and feel what? you're ugly, ashamed of yourself, frustrated... what.

[andi8172]

Why do you hate looking at yourself? You mean that you look at yourself in the mirror and feel what? you're ugly, ashamed of yourself, frustrated... what.

 

i guess its a bit of everything i look in the mirror and oh i god why am i even looking i know its going to be the same day im frustrated that everything iv done in my life has failed ashamed that again i took the pills but woke up after a couple of hours, sad that again i couldnt face going out just to get out, the reason i cut myself is simple i hope ill go to far and wont wake up the next day and have to go through this pitiful routine . from the second i woke up today even as i type im thinking to myself i have to buy some rope i dont blame people for not liking me i dont like me, after my first attempt i changed everything work/home/etc but im still fighting everyday just to keep going and i dont think i want to anymore.And its still so early in the day

[mark_e]

There are different reasons for cutting. Cutting so that you don't wake up the next morning is different than cutting to feel the pain. Why is it that you usually cut? Maybe you have done both at different times. It sounds like you are more concerned with ending it than self injury right now. Any specific plans for after buying the rope?

[andi8172]

There are different reasons for cutting. Cutting so that you don't wake up the next morning is different than cutting to feel the pain. Why is it that you usually cut? Maybe you have done both at different times. It sounds like you are more concerned with ending it than self injury right now. Any specific plans for after buying the rope?

 

to be honest i dont think i do it for pain im sitting here today nothing to do or see i think its to see how much i can take or just something to do,as for specific plans i have many different plans and they are all ideas in progress all diferent ways.i started on self harm forum to see how other people feel but i know everyone is different im also on the suicide forum and typing threads on these is kind of easier than talking face to face which ive never been able to do

[No One]

Such a serious post, yet:

"IF THERE IS SUCH A THING AS REINCARNATION IV A BAD FEELING ILL COME BACK AS ME!" - you're killing me (like, no pun intended)!

 

Well, suicide is a *step* up.... I would like to off myself too (yes, a favorite scenario involving a rope), but, I know that it WON'T matter, that life is too short any which way, so, I'll just trudge on for my brief moment on the universe's stage. Hey, at this stage, how much does that burning pain really matter any more? Even the pain...anymore?

 

I hope that you DO find someone sincere for a face-to-face discussion!!

[andi8172]

where is this urge coming from now its been about a week since i last hurt myself but ive been thinking it all day and i know that the urge is now getting to me im tryin to fight but its hopeless just as old scars were healing the urge is back please dont make me do this i have no one to blame but myself ive brought myself back down to this point if i could just cut myself and pull this feeling out of my body

[No One]

Sort of getting professional help, try to do things to distract you until the urge passes.

I know what you mean, and, how you feel! Remember, the cutting is a response to your inner self - it is certainly not the only option.

 

Good luck!

[andi8172]

okay ive had a few good days now things are going on schedule im reasonably happy so what is the feeling growing in my head that tonight i have to cut myself its been over a week since my last cut and ive seen a counsellor for other episodes in my life what can i do to take this off my mind perhaps i should just have a VERY early night!!

[andi8172]

having seen a woman who self harmed all her life and she had no unbroken skin on her arms and had to have fresh bandages every week i think it scared the hell out of me i tell myself no more

and everyday im feeling better its been 11 days now long may it continue

now im in control ! bring it on!

[andi8172]

well i guess nothing can last forever i urge is back with me today,its just got too much i now understand why it never leaves you i havnt cut yet but the blades in front of me and i see it as a release of pressure im watchin a film to try and take my mind off it but who knows maybe just a little cut.im sorry ive slipped back

[andi8172]

it was never going to last forever the hate i feel for myself and life has bought me back to cutting and i dont want to stop infact i want to go further today ive cut my arms legs and face i just want this over with