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I think I have a problem when it comes to relationships... I'm too indecisive, and I run.


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I'm not sure which forum section I should put this in, but I'm thinking "Personal Growth," since it is something I would like to try to 'fix' if possible.


This is a problem I have noticed in me for a while, but it seems to be getting worse as I get older. I don't really like it all that much.



The problem I fall so quickly, and so deeply. I'm prone to the whole 'love at first sight' thing, I won't deny it. I will like a person and chase them like no other, and then when I finally win them over I am very nonchalant and indifferent towards them. I would say that, on average, I no longer 'desire' 98% of the men after I "catch" them.


A few scenarios:


Back in January I met a guy at my University, whom I became really attracted to right off the bat. I flirted with him hardcore. I wanted him. After a couple of months, he finally asked me out on a date. After that, I had no interest in him. I won him - thus, the fun was over for me.


Around the same time, I was also crushing on another guy. I told him and nothing came from it right then, but we still continued talking. Even up until a few weeks ago, I still periodically told him that I had feelings for him. Back in late April/early May he revealed that he liked me, too, and he wanted to give things a try. Even though I had just days before that told him that I still liked him, after he told me this I couldn't help but to tell him that I wasn't interested in him that way. Why? I finally won him over, and then I had no desire to be with him at all.


Now, I'm having the problem again. I have liked this other guy since late December-ish. He is the one, of all these stories I'm telling right now, that I liked the most. I still do like him a lot. In fact, perhaps I could even love him (someday...) He really is an amazing guy, and he is always on my mind. I have liked him for several months now. Within these past few days, it was revealed that he had the same feelings towards me. I should be flattered, and I should feel like we should/could grow closer since we feel the same towards each other... But that's not the case. I feel that, since he has admitted it, I am over it. I mean, I still like him... but I just don't see the point in trying anymore. I'm kind of ready to move on to the next target, though I still have strong feelings for him.



What's wrong with me? Why do I like these men so much, but then completely rid of them when I finally catch them and get them under my wing?


Also, another problem of mine that you probably noticed from the story: I can never like just one person at a time. I always seem to like 2-5 people at one time.



I have been this way for as long as I can remember; though, like I said, it's progressively getting worse as I get older, I think. There have only been two people who were really able to catch my heart. I have been in five relationships, but only two of them really caught me.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Nothing personal, but to answer your question I think you just need some time to allow yourself to grow up and mature more. We all were there at one point or another. Some people are well into their 30s and 40s and still playing games. Be careful what type of games you play as karma goes around and will come back to you. It may not get you now, but it will get you. In the meantime, I think you need to leave the boys alone for right now and focus on your education and career ambitions.

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It sounds like you put the brakes on when it becomes risky. Although you have been in other relationships, so...I don't know. It's somewhat natural to be attracted to different people at different times, to go from "person to person" so to speak. But to halt things so suddenly when they show reciprocal interest, seems a little abnormal. In your previous relationships, did you need to defy this instinct you have to run away, at least at first?

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