He cheating but i cant leave him...

[Blondey]

Ive been seeing my boyfriend for a year now, he says he split up with his previous girlfriend but my friend constantly tells me that he is still with her. Which he probably is, the thing is i cant leave him i love him too much. He has beeen my first real boyfriend and i truly dont know what i would do without him. I feel so upset at times that i cant breathe. Please dont tell me to leave him as i truly cant i have tried and just end up going back to him because he rings me and begs for me back. Please help me out of this please. I feel the only way i could leave him is if i met another boy who i liked instantly

[Mun]

Until you know for sure that he is cheating, you should trust him.

 

If you discover later that he is cheating on you then you will have to decide if it's ok for someone to do that to you. If you can live with yourself knowing that he thinks nothing of cheating on you. That he disrespects you this way and has no consideration for your feelings.

 

It is never ok for someone to mistreat you or cheat on you.

[evepm]

Dear Blondey:

 

You have to put your emotional well being above EVERYTHING else. I have found in my own experience that once a cheat always a cheat.

 

I know that the most difficult thing to do is parting from your first love but no one in this world is worth giving up your dignity for. This is a situation where you have to find all the strength within yourself and let this guy go. I'm not going to try to tell that it will be easy because it will be very hard at first. But, there are people here to help you get through it.

 

As far as getting involved with another guy right away...I don't think that is the answer you have to learn to love yourself first before you can really love anyone else. Whatever you decide to do make sure that you surround yourself with your family and friends.

 

Peace to you,

Evepm

[cindizzzle]

Please dont tell me to leave him as i truly cant i have tried and just end up going back to him because he rings me and begs for me back. Please help me out of this please. I feel the only way i could leave him is if i met another boy who i liked instantly Ok, lets see it sounds as if you did leave him before and go back which won't change his behavior. Second, it sounds like you may be going on hearsay from a girlfriend that may feel left out or maybe did see them together. That doesn't mean he was cheating. Maybe they are still friends, obviously if he wanted to be with her he wouldn't be with you. It doesn't sound like you know for sure he is cheating so to speak. First you need to find out for sure and you mentioned that you cant leave him unless you found another boy so ask him if he is still seeing his ex and if he is let him know that if he wants to continue to see he then you will continue to see other boys then he will either be exclusive with you or you can still be with him while looking for another boy you can trust

[Blondey]

I didnt think any one would reply to my post but thankyou very much for doing so. My friend well shes my best friend has once before rang me up to say she saw my boyfriend with his ex when he was actually with me. She then went on to say that maybe it was another boy she must have been mistakened, but at the time my boyfriend had a very distinctive orange car that NO ONE ELSE had....dont ask. So thereforeeee that makes me think does she often lie to me. Another thing is i met my boyfriend through my best friends brother whom hates the fact we are together and also often stirs and makes things up to cause fights betweeen us. I dont understand why they want to do that to us or why they ar so mean but my mum suggest that maybe my "betsfriend" fancies my boyfriend and her brother likes me. Well i dont think her brother fancies me hes often horrible to me calling me foul names. my bestfriend has trieed to kiss my boyfriend but he sed he pushed her away and told me straight away-we were in a club i was in the toilet! When i confronted her about this she denied it and sed he tried to kiss her. Thats when i left him......and never spoke to her but they both pestered me to speak to them again and i eneded up becoming friends with both of them. Sorry for babbling on.... but im too confused thanks....

[Meow18]

So it seems to me that your best friend is not a real friend. If she likes your boyfriend, then she must be jealous & trying to get you to break up. No real friend would do this, so why do you put up with it? Its only going to get worse. You need to talk to her & let her know that you will not put up with her behavior. If she doesn't change, you need to find a new best friend. Its obvious that she must be lying to you if she said she saw your boyfriend with another girl when it was you. Just be careful because friends like this will do anything to ruin your relationship.

[Blondey]

Hi Maggie,

What you have said i sexactly what my boyfriend and all his friends say. They say that she also slags me off saying im seeing other boys which i can ensure im not. Otherwise i wouldnt have this problem. THey cosistantly advise me to ignore her an tell her to go away- obviously not in those words. But i cant understand why she owuld do that to me i have nothing but help her through problems she has come accross. I guess you dont always receive what you give.

 

Thankyou for you advice

Many thanks

 

Riannah x

[Meow18]

Some people are just like that. I have had many friends do that to me & really, its not worth going through. At first I just let it go because I kept telling myself that my friend will change, but deep down I really knew she never would. I just didn't want to lose her as a friend, but now I realize that she wasn't even a friend, she was just using me & I didn't deserve to be used like that. Your friend is hurting you & your friendship by acting this way. By not doing anything about it, you are telling her that you are ok with her treating you this way & thats not ok. You really should talk to her about it. Ask her why she's lying to you about your boyfriend. Ask her why she lies to you about other things & makes up stories about you. If your friend were a true friend, she would want you to be happy & all she's doing right now is trying to ruin your life. You don't need her in your life. She's not doing any good for you, she's only bringing you down. You can do better.

[Blondey]

Im seeing her today. But i dont really know how to go about it. Should i just ask her staright out why she is doing this to me. Or shall i just gradually move onto the subject of her lying to me. I dont want to cause a huge argument between us because i cant be bothered with the agro of it all. I also have other problems that need more of my attention. I just fell to give up on her. I dont ever ring her any more or ask her to come out with me. I just fell as though she comes out wiht me and then goes back to her brother and tells him what we done but makes me look bad. Thats when the stories are made u and my boyfriend hears them and cant undestand why they would make them up. For example yesterday my boyfriends best friend told that there was a rumour going round that i slept with my boyfriends close friend. Of course this isnt true but i was told that Alex-my best friend had told her brother this, who had exagerated it and told everone else! My boyfriend doesnt believe this but is paranoid that his friends are now trying to "get with me" and that his close friend made the rumour up cos he does want to sleep with me. GOd i just realise how complicated my life is! Well at least its not boring! lol

[Meow18]

You need to talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that your friend & her brother are making all these stories up about you. Because if he doesn't know that, he might believe what they are saying & it will break you both up. I think you should just say something like "I don't appreciate you making up rumors about me because your supposed to be my friend." You are doing nothing wrong here. She's the one who is being rude & you just want to know why. If she pretends like she doesn't knoe what you are talking about, then say something like "I'm not stupid, I know exactly what you & your brother do & no real friend is like that." Why do you care if you & her get into a big fight? Even if you do, she's not worth trying to fix things over. You don't deserve this, you deserve to be happy & she doesn't want that. I think you should just stop hanging out with her because it seems like that is when she makes up the stories.