low sex drive... help!!!

[casey11]

I'm an otherwise healthy 24 year old woman. Ever since I can remember, I've had a very high sex drive, whether or not I've had a partner. In the past few months, my sex drive has started to diminish. I don't know what to do anymore. My boyfriend is very attractive and the first few months, I was really into the sex. We have a great relationship and we're moving in together soon, but he thinks that I'm not into him anymore. I feel bad, that's not it. The only thing I can think of is sometimes he can be immature and I dated older guys before. But I don't think thats it. I really think its me.

 

The things that have changed in my life are:

 

-I moved into a new apartment with a new roommate. I used to take long, hot bubble baths a few times a week. I can't use the bathtub in this apartment.

 

-I started a new job that is a lot more stressful and requires a lot more hours/effort. I gained some weight. Now, I'm working my butt off to take it off again.

 

-Financial stress... my boyfriend is at risk of losing his job. Its possible I could get laid off too, but less likely. We have money saved and would collect unemployment in this event, so that doesn't worry me so much.

 

-I used to hang out with my old roommate a lot... we'd just talk and laugh after work. My new roommate keeps to herself more frequently, although we are friends.

 

I was really broke before, but my job wasn't stressful and I guess I was always happy once I made it to the next paycheck. Now I'm thinking in the long term. I booked a vacation with my BF, but that isn't for several months. I'm so tired and stressed. I've never had this low a libido before. I feel so bad about it and I don't know what to do to make it better. It's really affecting my quality of life and I can tell it bothers my boyfriend a lot.

 

Any advice?

[sidehop]

It does sound like the stress is causing the low drive.

 

Do you two have time that can be set aside few times a week to really wind down? It doesn't necessarily have to be going out or spending money by any means. Even for a walk, doing any sort of exercise together and find ways to get your mind off of work and things that's causing stress at the moment?

 

Some recommend yoga for breathing and relaxing. I know there are yogi's and yogini's on the board so I'm sure they can recommend you on the types of yoga that may help you if you haven't already checked it out.

 

Hang in there! I'm sure things will get better

[Devchonka]

Definitely sounds like it's the stress and lack of free time.

 

I'm your age and I'm actually working through this too, not enough free time and stressful days... just a lot of thigns that make sex not as worth it.

 

I just find that I would absolutely rather sleep and have a moment of peace rather than having long energizing sex after which I have to shower, rearrange sheets, move the bed back in place blah blah....and then next day I have to wash and re-straighten my hair other wise it looks sweaty and ugly....eh. He's like a horse he'd like to go all night, and I want to please him but these days I just really want to sleep.

 

Plus, he gained a lot of weight so the old trick of seeing him naked doesn't arouse me the same way.

 

I feel bad that I'm not more interested in it but I'm hoping with the summer I'll be less stressed, spend more time havign fun, and more interested in the quality sex. And hopefully the bowflex he bought will do something as well for his body