My boyfriend and bestfriend constantly argue help!

[Blondey]

Well this is how its is, my boyfriend who i have been seeing for a year is known for a being a complete player which he was he was- i know that he said so. The thing is now he says he doesnt do that ne more! I see him everyday and we talk constantly on the phone we are consistantly saying we love each other and that sort of thing. You may think well whats the problem then. THe problems is i met him through my best friend's brother. Both my my best friend and her brother hate the fact that we are STILL together because we spend so much time together and not with them. My bestfriend and her brother are constantly stirring things between me and my boyfriend, saying things such as i saw him with another girl and shes cheating etc. They have both been caught out numerous times but still carry on with it. My bf and bestfriend constantly argue and drag me into it! My bestfriend also lies to me which i dont want to confront her about because i dont want the hassel. I have no one to talk to apart from my boyfriend, but i sometimes feel i cant speak to him because its about him! Does that make sense? Im so alone although im in a family of 6 and have too many friends and relatives. NO one can understand what im going through and its killing me. theres so much more to this story but its too long with too many details to write. i dont know what to do .....please help me

[Mar]

Well, my guess is that your best friend is jealous that he's taken you away from her. Same thing happened with my fiance and my best friend. She started picking fights with me and saying how I never spent any time with her and my other friends anymore, etc. My family also gave me a hassle because my sister was jealous as well, and I nearly stopped speaking to all of them because it got so bad.

 

Bottom line is, you ride out the storm. Try to explain to your friend that your boyfriend is a very special person to you and that you love him, but that DOESN'T mean that you don't love her as well. It's natural that you're going to spend more time with him than her; that happens in all relationships. Ask her to be a bit more understanding and try to get along with him, because all she's doing now is making it a lot less appealing to hang out when she causes these problems. If she can't understand that, then maybe you need to take a break from her until she can mature a little bit and understand that both her and your boyfriend have their places in your life, and that just because you're with him, it doesn't mean there's no room for her!

 

Also, try to spend more time with her. I had to realize that I WAS blowing my best friend off somewhat, and I made the effort to be with her more. It made her happy, it made me happy because I realized how much I missed hanging out with her and the rest of my friends, and all my friends eventually got to know my fiance and accept him into our group. Takes time, but if he's worth it to you, then they'll finally see that he's a permanent fixture and really not the threat they're perceiving him as!

 

Mar

 

Mar

[xxatti]

How do you know the things your friend is saying aren't true, or at least have some truth to them?

[Mun]

Try keeping your friend and boyfriend separate. Don't discuss problems with your boyfriend with your best friend and don't tell him what your friend is saying about him. This only feeds the animosity.

 

Go out with your best friend and do things with her like you used to before your bf came along. This should ease the ill feelings and refuse to discuss gossip about your bf with your best friend when she brings it up. If the things she says about your bf are not true she will stop once you give her your time and friendship again-- and if they are true YOU will deal with him without having everyone involved in your relationship. Sound Good?

Love

[Blondey]

I know for certain that the things my best friend are sayin are untrue wel most of them ne way because she has been caught out so many times ive lsot count along with her brother too. SHe once phoned me to say she had seen my bf with anoither girl thing was he was with me ....? She said she must have made a mistake and said a hasty goodbye?! Thankyou for yur advice guys i has helped me alot. I will keep them separate and also not tell them what the other has been saying i can see how that would anger them both. Cheers again its helped me alot!