am i the only one who had such ex who is so inhuman...

[berny]

Hello everyone...

i am deeply hurt and i still cant take her out of my mind.I have been immature,stupid and what so ever u can call...and i did everything in order to get her back....i would like to share my story....its between 2 nationals...i am an indian and my ex was korean

I am pursuing my phd in s.korea.We had met each other from some social networking site.we were friends initially and she had broken up from her bf which was of 5 year relationship.and eventually we got close and we both fell in love.she used to always tell me how special i am when compared to ex.she claims that her ex was violent and abusive.we used to spend our weekends together and during weekdays we used to keep in touch with phone.She used to get very possessive about me.even if she finds me wearing any dress which was gifted from my female friends she used to get annoyed.we both had problem communicating initially because she was litllt weak in english.but she got over it...i used to get scared to compltely give myself in the relationship because i was scared if i get serious,she may dump me and i will end up hurting myself.which i had learnt from my previous relationships...but she used to promise me that i am the best person she met and she cant even think of goig away from me.it was all fine for 4 months...then she went to austraila for working holiday....but she said she will come back to me and she wants me back in her life and we will get married in few years...we kept in touch through skype and we used to talk almost everyday....it went on for 3 months.....and seeing her love for me i became very serious with her.Inspite of different natinality i thought i will marry her....just 1 month agi she met few guys in australia in church and she was going out to few places...and i felt bit insecured.she assured me that she understand my feelings,but they are just church guys from prayer groups.but as days passed i used to see her gettign closed to one guy and in facebook,there used to always

comments on each other pics and status messages....i just told her it really makes me feel insecured...just imagine how u used to feel when i used to comment on others pictures.....there it was all over...she said she wants to break up...i pleaded..begged..but she never picked my call neither replied to my mail.i was hospitalized for a day because out of shock i lost my conciousness...she blocked me from facebook...but used some other ID and saw her profile.but she was happy with her friends and she continuing posting messages to that guy...i called her again and this time she picked up call and said....move on in ur life and she is ready to be friend with me but she does not love me.and she is seeing someone else....she broke up with me because she found me obsessive....i was broke apart again.it was just 1 and half week she found someone else.....she used to say she loved me so much....but within 1 week she found some one else..i was resisting her obsession for 6 months.but she got fed of my obsession of one week.

i did one more mistake..i spoke to one of her friend in australia and told whats happeing.he said...she is going around with the same church guy whom i had problem with.they are travelling all over australia and having fun.they are planning to get engaged now.my ex wil come back to korea to finish her education.then again she will go back to aus and get settle down with her......

I feel horrifled imagining my ex with this guy..she assured me there is nothing between them and she landed up with same guy.I dont get sleep from 3 weeks..i dont feel hungry..lost weight upto 6 kg's .....its affecting me a lot....i decided to assure myself it is over but memories haunt me....the memories of the time they spent haunts me....

My mind says i never want her back in my life..but inspite of this why do i miss her so much...Infact i dont have much time to worry about this because i am busy with my research life....

i am tired of fighting with myself everyday,seeking for a motivation to live....i feel like killing myself..but i dot have courage to do it...i know its wrong....i thought i would be fine in 3 weeks but it looks like the healing is taking forever......can anyone suggest me anything on this..has anyone been through this kind of situation...sometimes i feel she just played around with me....i dont know whata happening to me....

its been 40 days since we broke up...i dont cry out now..but it pains thinking of what she did to me...i am not able to concentrate on my studies....i feel like just quit everything and go somewhere alone..i am sick of fighting with myself alone...when i read others stories,i feel thier ex atleast ask them how u are feeling...but this girl never even bothered to look back...Once promised to live together but now,same person is acting in inhuman...how can anyone move on within 1 week of breakup...i used to feel she is perfect for me..these thoughts are killing me....can anyone help me....

[misssmithviii]

Move on by realizing she was not the one for you, and the woman meant for you won't put your through that kind of pain - if you think of it like that, she's not worth it and you are much, much better off.

 

Your mind is correct, the pain you're feeling is only natural man, just keep it in check and keep your wits about you. You're missing the connection, not her (at least I hope not). Missing a relationship is only normal when it's over, but please do not miss a woman who has mistreated you... that's only self-sabotaging.

 

Go out and do your own thing. Exercise, set goals and work on yourself. You have much to live for and you cannot let a messed up girl get you down when she's not even in your life anymore.

 

First thing, you mustn't speak to her, cut her out of your life and move on. No Contact... none whatsoever.

[nguyenal]

Yes. She doesn't seem to care about you. You sound like a very decent guy. There are other great girls out there. Just focusing on your studying now. Just take a day at a time with no contact. Each day, try to push her further from your mind.

[berny]

Thanks a lot misssmithviii and nguyenal....i am sure that i dont want her anymore in my life.and i will never accept her back even if she comes back.I have her cat with me,she is't even bothered about it...it pains me to see that cat and i feel like i have been used like a trash...i am gonna give that cat to the vet. orphanage...

 

I wonder when will i get over with this pain.I was with her only for 3 months and rest 4 months, it was LDR...eventhough its not years of relationship,why does it hurt me so much...just 3 months of relationship i have almost wasted 50 days thinking over it..

 

I excersice,go to salsa and give some private coaching to students....but when i am done with it..i am back to square one....feels like i am still caught in vivacious cycle....i know i deserve someone better and i am sure i will forget her one day...she is not worth thinking about...

 

Studying and concentrating on my research has been a major challenge to me..i can not read a word..mind is in mess.....

why do u feel so much pain,when we know that person is not right for us and she has moves on within 2 days with other guy...

I am tired of fighting with myself everyday just to keep myself happy...friends have given up on me...they did try to help me.But they are fed up listening to me.....sometimes i feel i am mentally ill...people invest 10-15 years of relationship..and when it breaks it does pain...mine was only for 7 months...why do i feel this way...one day i am very happy,thinking this was the best thing happened in my life...i am becoming a man and i needed this breakup....because she was not the person to depend upon.but next day i feel very sad..

If anyone has gone through this...please help me out...

[Radeon]

Berny,

Take it easy bro. People like your ex and my ex generally don't understand anything about relationships beyond face value. They use them to define themselves, so when the spark wears off, and they find someone else to use, they switch. Trust me... They are going to be doing this for a VERY long time, until they can find someone who will bow down to them emotionally, physically and financially. They'll never truly understand love -- That's their problem, not yours.

 

I was broken up with 10 days ago, and it's been a constant battle in my head and in my heart, but I'm starting to come to my senses and ask myself "what the hell were you doing with someone like that?" I go back and forth a lot, but in the end it'll be clear, I'm sure of it. The thought of her with someone else still hurts me, but i try not to think about it. I just try to think, "Why were you with someone who never, ever loved you as much as you loved them?"

 

You're better off without her. Why? Because it gives you the opportunity to find someone who's going to love you for YOU, and they're going to love you JUST as much as you love them. I know it hurts to read, but she never really loved you. She used you for excitement.

 

I know how you feel, my ex and I adopted two cats while we lived together, and she upped and left them. Hers really, really didn't like me, so I put it up for adoption at the local clinic. It would be in better hands there, and hopefully adopted. Don't let her place her baggage on you.

 

Just keep telling yourself, and proving to yourself that your life is much better without her. FIND SOMETHING TO DO! Hit the gym, get a new haircut, go out. Don't date right off the bat, let yourself heal... Healing is important so that you can jump into a meaningful, real, loving relationship that will flourish. When that day comes, you'll kick yourself in the ass for ever being upset about your ex, guarantee it!

[berny]

Thanks Radeon....

yesterday morning i decided the pain is over and i am feeling fine now..then i was about to post that over here...but read few threads and back to square one...Does to much of reading about breakup gives us over dose??...after reading few postings i started to think over it and became depressed..

However,i have closed the chapter with my ex..i blocked her from every thing and i am sure will never get to see her again as she lives in different city and i will move out from this country in 2 years may be...I just wanna wipe out the memories i had,which makes me feel think and rethink over it..i am sure,i wll never regret in future for loosing her...because the way she treated me was horrible....may be as time passes i will feel fine...

Radeon....i read ur postings and really felt bad for wat ever she did to u.and if u can see from my point of view....i feel this is the best thing happened to u...she walked away..u were really living in mess as i lived.....the only thing we need is to forget them and move one....

i dont wanna date anyone now.there wont be any difference between me and my ex if i do that...she hooked up with a new guy within a week and she calls it as moving on...and she said..she learnt how to move on after she broke up with her ex(guy before me)...and she met me and i made her feel good and gave her all my love....i did not even realize i was being a rebound....in our second meet we ended up in bed....i was so stupid doing that,i fell for her words and thought she was genuine person....

i am thakfull to god who broke this relationship and making me realize what really she was...i prayed to god to show some miracle to get her back in my life...god really did miracle,by not letting her come into my life.....all i pray to god is..give me strngth to forget this girl and concentrate on my studies....

[berny]

Worst day of my life...i had a night mare of my ex and her new bf....i was pleading to my ex to come back and i was almost falling to his her bf's feet to understand my pain and give her back to me....i woke up with shivers...i would never wanna see her face again in my life.....but this nightmare ruined my whole day.....somewhere somehow,do i still miss my ex and want her back??....i dont know..its been 40 days of NC...still strugging myself and tried of faking happiness.