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feel like a useless being

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Im in my third year of my nursing training and in my final placement. About 8 months back i had a nervous breakdown on placement and had to take a break out of the training as i was in such a state and went to the doctor and diagnosed with depression. it was devastating as it was also my final placement 12 weeks long! Now i have taken the time out and back again in my final placement i have had some trouble with confidence and it is starting to really effect my performance on placement and my mentor has pulled me up on it, said if i don't improve my confidence and communication skills i will fail and will have to repeat the placement. When i heard this i got really upset and felt defeated and it felt like a bomb was dropped on me. I haven't had much confidence doing certain tasks like giving nurse hand over and speaking to doctors and doing referrals. I really want to finish this placement now. I just feel so dicouraged and its putting me right off nursing and this time for good but because ive only 8 weeks left i feel if i dont finish i will regret it...thats why the last time i took time out because at that time i wanted to quit even though i was so close to qualifying.


What is wrong with me i just cant believe this is happening to me again...the only difference is that the people in this placement are so nice and supportive in comparison to the last place where i was personally attacked and bullied by my mentor (she has been known to do it in the past to other students) but this place ive got a good mentor. I just wish i wasnt so sensitive all the time.

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There is an expression "keep your eyes on the prize"..the prize is completing the placement. When you find yourself feeling deflated and unable to perform your task, focus your mind on success..focus your mind on where you want to see your career...pull your mind away from thoughts of inadequacy and keep telling yourself that you are strong and tough and can do it.

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Whenever I want to change my perceptions and behavior in a work situation, I find it most helpful to stop making it all about me. When colleagues are warm, friendly and encouraging, I want to reward that by responding appropriately and working as a team with them to give us all a 'win'. Ghaaad knows, there are plenty of bad situations to contrast such a ripe opportunity in which I can thrive, so I decide to step up to deliver what I know they want from me.


Each time you do this it gets easier. When in hell, don't stop--push forward to move beyond it. When your biggest barrier to good performance is your own mind, don't dwell there--change your focus and make your efforts about expressing your best kindness to the people around you. You CAN do this.


In your corner.

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