Dealing with relationship insecurities

[matius]

I've come accross some photos of my girl with someone that I don't know. They make me feel uncomfortable because there is something that seems unusually intimate in my opinion; suggestive - my gut feeling. They were posted in a collection of images ... a gallery type deal so she knew I could see them quite easily.

 

Now that being said, I don't want to be some jealous fool that ends up becoming a complete drag on everything to the point that the relationship dissolves when it might be nothing. It's not really my angle.

 

My angle is more about time. It's about taking control of my time rather than wasting it - I can deal with any issue that might cause an end but that's neither here nor there.

 

To me though, it really feels like an absolute no-win situation. If I ask about it I seem like a paranoid traffic cop or someone who can be made to look crazy. But if I don't ask then what... I go on with that nagging question?

 

So I guess at the end of the day what I'm asking is, what would others do to stay even through something like this? I really have a communication gap in that I don't know how to say it with the right touch.

 

I mean, have you ever seen anyone use such a method to try & tell someone something?

 

Appreciate your feedback.

[Hurting85]

You could always be surfing the web when she's around and "accidentally" stumble on the pictures. Say you don't recognize the guy and ask where she knows him from. If you're really nonchalant about it, she shouldn't think you're trying to pry or that you're being jealous.

[matius]

You could always be surfing the web when she's around and "accidentally" stumble on the pictures. Say you don't recognize the guy and ask where she knows him from. If you're really nonchalant about it, she shouldn't think you're trying to pry or that you're being jealous.

 

That's an idea, thanks -

[RedDress]

Asking in a non-judgemental, curious kind of way is never insulting. Most bf/gfs are going to be curious if you are slammed up against some stranger.

 

Jumping to the conclusion that it is "intimate" or that she is cheating is insecure/jealous behaviour.

 

I don't think you have to "accidentally" stumble upon the pictures. Just ask the question "Hey - who's that guy" with an open mind and in a non-accusatory way. Maybe it's her brother/cousin/long lost relative/etc.

[matius]

Asking in a non-judgemental, curious kind of way is never insulting. Most bf/gfs are going to be curious if you are slammed up against some stranger.

 

Jumping to the conclusion that it is "intimate" or that she is cheating is insecure/jealous behaviour.

 

I don't think you have to "accidentally" stumble upon the pictures. Just ask the question "Hey - who's that guy" with an open mind and in a non-accusatory way. Maybe it's her brother/cousin/long lost relative/etc.

 

I agree. Thanks for your comment.

[dave_49]

how long you been dating and how far have you gone , in time you will get to know the girl for what she really is and then all will become clear.she'll tell you when she feels the time to know is right. if early days in your relationship drop a few hints of your past g/friends and see if she responds,or even asks about why u split as not to make same mistakes as she did? u just never know lol stick at it and just put negative thoughts out your mind enjoy her company and treat her right and im sure you'll feel 100 percent better. good luck