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So its been a little over a week since the breakup and i thought i was doing good the first few days, until things started to go downhill. I missed him so much so I started to have dreams about him, i started to wake up in the middle of the night with my leg shaking. I could feel the anxiety building up within me and i felt like i was going to have a breakdown.


I wasnt getting any where in the healing process i think its all due to the lack of closure from the breakup. I didnt know if it was something he wanted and i pretended it was something i wanted when he broke up with me. The reasons why i was going through so much anxiety is because i started to think maybe he doesnt realize im still in love with him, so hes not going to attempt getting back together so he doesnt get his heart broken. I knew i had to let me know at least how i felt about him, so i convinced myself to contact him.


And i did contact him. I told him i was still in love with him, and i want us back together. He told me that hes going through something right now and is going to have to think about it. I dont know if this was a set back or not, but at least he knows how i feel, instead of the pain of not knowing what could never be consuming me for months and maybe even years.


I placed the ball in his court, was i wrong on doing this?


Should i have just left it alone and waited for him to contact me first?


BTW: what does it mean if hes doing things after the breakup that i didnt like when we were together so he never did them then? He felt the need to tell me about them when i contacted him, even though i could care less that he did them.

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While you are still early in the break up, you should establish NC and be VERY firm about it. Let him think that you are over him and get yourself to work on yourself IMMEDIATELY. So many dumpees find out too late that establishing an extended period of NC is actually the better route.

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Like you said the ball is in his court. You can't wait around and see if he changes his mind. The world will go on and you have to chose whether or not you want to be apart of it . So establish NC and only talk to him if he tries to get back in touch with, but make sure he actually has something to say. If not end the conversation immediately. Be good and stay strong.

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I dont think that you were wrong especially if the thought of wondering if he knew you loved him was going to eat you up inside.


Overall, I am a huge believer in NC. I am glad you said your peace. Ball is in his court. I also suspect the reason he told all the things he has been up to was to see your reaction incase you two did get back together. It was out on the table.


I recommend for your sanity to look at your last conversation with him as closure on your end. Closure meaning you got everything off your chest that you wanted to say. Now you can "move" on regardless of what happens. You will never have to wonder if he knew how much you love and I am proud of you for that.


Stay strong, try to think of yourself as a fierce, independent women and focus on you. If he eventually comes back, you can consider what you want to do at the time but for now, apply NC. There is nothing more to say to him.

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