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Things feel.. shallow and dull...


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I don't know if it's just me, but I perceive that nowadays, things are becoming quite shallow and dull. Things don't interest me that much anymore, and it also seems like other people have absolutely NO empathy or emotion for others. It seems the culture is emotionally depraved.


I remember even last year... the air smelt cleaner... people were... nicer, things were easier... now, everything seems bland and dull as heck and I'm wondering if anyone feels this way about the external world? I'm guessing this also inevitably has something to do with us, no matter how small our fault it is.

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Another thing is that... from August 2006 to about the end of December 2006... I was in great physical shape. I am 18 now, I was 14 back then. I was just in such great mental shape as well... those times were magical.


Now, I feel like a shell of my former self. I was hard as a rock back then, but right around January 2007, something just came along and demotivated me.. I don't know what it was, but that was the last I was happy and felt fulfilled. I guess my personality developed from there into who I was now.


Right here, I'm just explaining my side of the topic, I would still like input from other people about the culture and how it causes unhappiness and what I described above.

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You're just a little depressed IMO, I know how that feels.


I believe morality is able to be found in other people, most definitely - otherwise I wouldn't have any friends ;] I choose those I surround myself with, I choose who I want to associate with and if I'm alone, at least I'm not diminishing my standards. That's where much of my ability to stay happy is, because I've dealt with quite a bit of depression and resentment in my lifetime.


I'm a 19 year old technically single mother (as in not married), and there was a time I couldn't afford to take care of my child because of the bad decisions I made and the bad people I surrounded myself with. It took a few months (thankfully no longer than that) to receive the wonderful, ever-supportive help from my father to watch over my daughter while I created a life financially and emotionally stable for her. I very well could've let it all go and just said to heck with it all, but I have a never-ending drive and passion in life - that's to remain above the moral dysfunction of the majority of society, to remember that it cannot and I will not allow it to affect me, and to uphold all I believe in.


I find beauty in that, and my life is amazing because of it. It is true that a lot can be said about you just by meeting your closest friends. I believe if you cut off the associations in your life that are negative, your life will begin to become much, much easier. I believe motivation is in your hands and you must find what you love - whatever that may be and go for it.


I highly doubt it is your personality that is flawed - I think your environment could be. Stop caring about those who do not care about you, find your passion and love in life and do it and prove to society and yourself that not all is lost. It's only once you've given up and you have lost your chances - so do not give up.

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I think it might be partly an age thing. For me anyways it was like.. the inbetween phases were the worst so 12/13 and then 18. You are getting older and I think sometimes the feeling of being jaded sets it and when you are inbetween lives the world can feel more hopeless.


When I get very depressed the world really does start to look doom and gloom. Society really can weigh me down in those times. Everything is the same but for some reason your outlook can change due to your emotions. So you should also perhaps consider if you are depressed and why.


Did something bad happen recently to change your opinion?

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Yeah, I probably am, but I referred to that time period up there because it was a time when I was completely on top of my game, I dominated everything, from jobs, to school, to physical activities.


Not right now though.


Hopefully, I can get my edge back.

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That edge is still there, you've got to capitalize on it.


I was a competitive, nationally ranked ice figure skater. You could literally google my name right now and the first 3 pages would be on me, the t.v. excerpts I've done with top-notch skaters, reports and I was even friends with Michelle Kwan - we used to practice together in LA.

Then (when my father was still a control freak) my father told me I wouldn't be allowed to skate anymore (as in no funding, taking away my $1,000+ custom german ice skating boots and canceling my coaches) unless I lost 20 lbs... I was 115 at 5'2'', but I lost the weight over a few months - however when I went to perform I was too weak and decided after a year without competing, that I couldn't bear it any longer. Being one of the best figure skaters, but unable to compete was devastating.


After that I felt like all was lost... but now - I've re-kindled a childhood passion when I found on the calendar picture of November (my birthday month), a Saleen s-7... I became obsessed with cars, imports and exotics and never pursued it. Now, my man and I are well on our way to owning our own auto tuning shop in the heart of Malibu and are getting even more fame through our driving abilities.


You would think after 8 years skating I couldn't find something I would love that much but I have - and you can too. You have that edge - you must find it again. It is inside of you, do NOT give up. If I gave up, I wouldn't have the beautiful life I do now.

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