My boyfriend just told me to deal with him untill we find out if im pregnant... <>? :(

[babygirl.5653]

Im 17 and my boyfriends 18. My boyfriend and I were hangingout at his school around 2 days ago and his brother texted him and told him he was picking him up at 3:20. He texted his brother back and said not to pick him up and that he was going to come home late. I didnt want him to get in trouble with his family because of me so i texted his brother and told him to pick him up at 3:30. His brother started sending him mean texts and he ignored them. We then went to a motel and were making out and i checked his phone and his brother texted saying "all this is your of a girls fault and dad said not to come home because nones letting u in" io didnt want to make the situation worse so i started puting my jacket on and told him to get dresses. He got up and got mad and started getting dressed and the entire time i was trying to calm him down. He didnt listen and just stormed out on me and left. I left the motel a couple mintues later and for the next 2 hours he yelled at me like crazy and threw the stuff i got him away and i was trying to calm him down the entire time. I finally convinced him to go home but when he did his mom wouldnt let him in so he left n went to the motel. I got my mom to drive me to the motel to give him food and my mom convinced him to go home and took him home and talk to his mom. Mid next day it hit me that he had just walked out on me and that me and him would not be together if i didnt run after him. I know i up but i dont think i deserved getting yelled at and being called a and being tolf to off. I tried so hard to forget it but i cant. I texted hima ll day despite not wanting to talk to him and when i told him how hurt i felt he told me "i guess u dont love me no more. well just put up with me until we find out whther ur pregnant or not". This was my first guy. Meant the world to me. I know im only 17 and we;ve only been together for 4 months and 3 weeks but i love him and he just ruined it. I dont know if loving him is worth staying with him and puting up with his rude ...or sticking around for him to leave me. I'd ask my girlfriends but theyd all just tell me to leave him because he's an buti dont know Maybe their just syaing that because thee my friends. (dont mind the spelling mistakes upset to think straight)

[ToF]

I dont know if loving him is worth staying with him and puting up with his rude ...or sticking around for him to leave me

 

Why on Earth would you even consider staying with him? If you're pregnant, that's one thing. But he is verbally abusive, disrespectful, and a waste of space, from what it sounds like.

 

It's your life. You decide if you want to "deal" with him.

[faithful14]

Your boyfriend sounds very abusive in my opinion. If you love someone, you don't treat them like that no matter what's happening. I understand that when people get mad, they can take their anger out on the one they love the most, but he's going beyond angry and just becoming abusive to you. Do you want to always put up with that?

 

Remember, you are young and there are plenty of nice guys out there. If he's being disrespectful , then get up and leave.

[tnmom66]

I dont know if loving him is worth staying with him and puting up with his rude ...or sticking around for him to leave me. I'd ask my girlfriends but theyd all just tell me to leave him because he's an buti dont know Maybe their just syaing that because thee my friends. (dont mind the spelling mistakes upset to think straight)

 

I think you DO know. You can do a lot better. I know what it's like to stay with someone and put up with mistreatment because of "love", but really that is a very messed-up situation and I hope you get out of it. I married my "first love" whom I fell in love with as a teenager, and we have had a very troubled life. I think we both would have been happier if I had not enabled him in his poor behavior.

 

As far as seeing it you are pregnant...I sure hope not. I'd stay away from this guy from this moment on. If you're pregnant, I always say choose life for the child.

 

I strongly recommend that you not be sexually active. Make a man earn the right to your body. Don't cheapen yourself. If you treat yourself cheaply, men will, too. Hopefully, he hasn't given you a disease or a pregnancy, but he has taken something precious from you that you can't get back--you're virginity and a piece of your heart.

 

I married young and thankfully missed out on the experience of having several sexual partners before I married, and I was over 40 before I experienced men (yes, it took twice before I really got the message) pretending to care about me, but using me just for sex. I got my first venereal disease and my first out-of-wedlock child. But I wanted to much to feel wanted, loved, and close to someone after I got divorced. And I enjoy sex. I have been celibate for about 2 years now and even though I get really lonely and would love to have sex, I think it is better that I don't for a myriad of reasons. I'm not telling you to do anything that I'm not doing myself. And I want to see you avoid the pain and suffering that I have been through in my life. I guess I'm old enough to be your mother.

 

Don't put yourself through this again. The short-term pleasure isn't worth the long-term pain.

 

Sounds like you have some good friends if you feel they would give you such reasonable advice. Listen to them and look to them for support.

 

I really think men treat women poorly because we let them. Only WE can turn things around by saying "NO" to mistreatment, lack of respect, and sex without love and commitment. If we raise our standards, the men will HAVE to change, and we will ALL get what we need and our whole society will benefit.

 

Hold out for the man who will treat you as the queen you are and who will stick around even if you respect yourself enough to keep yourself sexually pure. And if you want to avoid sex (and I hope you do!), avoid putting yourself in situations where it is likely to happen. Stay out of motels!!! It took me a while to figure it out, but it takes a lot less effort to avoid sex when I avoid being alone with a guy I'm attracted to. I was naive at first, thinking that we could just "cuddle"--which is what I wanted, but after a while, I lost control of the guy AND of myself. Stay in public places or in group situations. Learn how pleasurable and romantic hand-holding and quick kisses can be. Keep something held back to look forward to on your wedding night. I am taking a huge leap assuming that you want a lifetime of love with a single partner---maybe girls don't want that anymore?

 

I think you should know somebody for a year and have at least an engagement ring on your finger before you have sex. I know people who can put on a "front" for several months before their true nature shows. Or maybe over time you just realize that even if the guy is genuine, he's not what you want for life.

 

I really hope you'll put this guy and this experience behind you and start over. My heart goes out to you. Just remember that even if you have lost your virginity, you can still acquire chastity. Google for some good articles on how and why to be chaste and encourage your friends to do the same. It

is time for a new "sexual revolution." Just think of how much heartache would be avoided if nobody had sex outside of a serious, commited relationship.