pinecone Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 I'm having a rough time. Some days are ok, but others, like today, are awful. I wake uup thinking that there is no point being alive; I'm not suicidal, so to speak, I have too many people who are relying on me - but the idea never really goes away. It's just a constant drip drip drip of 'what do I actually have to hope and live for'. Me and my long term boyfriend broke up 6 months ago, and if anything it's now worse. I think it's kind of just really sunk in.. before with his support I could keep my head above water. I'm in the middle of training to be a mental health nurse, it's really hard working in that environment feeling this way (although at work I do feel better, it gives me perspective). I've had five therapists, one being cognitive behavioural therapy, and I've already been on anti-depressants with limited success, it's like, they stop you from wanting to hang yourself but they make life less colourful and worth living. It's a trade off. I don't know what I expect to achieve by posting here really, because I know the medication on offer, and I've really tried therapy, going out and getting involved with things.. nothing seems to work. I think I just wanted to say that. It's been nine years. I do not think I will ever get better. Link to comment
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