Advice Please!! I'm completely and utterly confused...

[irrisorie]

I met this guy a few weeks ago and one thing led to another and we were texting (and emailing) about 8 hours a day for over a week (I'm a multi-tasker...). He kept trying to set up times for us to hang out, and I would turn him down, etc., as I wasn't interested, and he really wasn't my type. I really just wanted a friend. Which he seemed to mirror.

 

However, I finally agreed to hang out over the weekend and you know, it was the perfect storm of events and we ended up back at his place. I've never done anything remotely like that...

 

Anyway, the rest of the weekend I did my own thing and didn't try and talk to him until today...and it's almost like radio silence. He went from sending me about 60 - 70 texts a day...to about 3. And that's only if I initiate (Which I've stopped doing), when previously he would initiate all phone, text and email conversations.

 

I'm not the type of person to assume that unplanned sex has to mean/lead to anything, and I compartmentalize very easily...in fact, I'd prefer that this didn't really lead to a relationship - but did I lose his friendship, since we had sex? Can guys not be friends with girls after that? (how old are we, 14?)

 

I'm very confused, honestly, I don't date or hook up randomly, since I'm a serial monogamist so I don't know how to read guy-signs...Is this a "I was only pursuing a 'friendship' until I got what I wanted, now I want you to disappear" situation? If it is, I will drop trying to be his friend, and move on...which is sad, since we definitely developed an almost instant friend-bond...or so I thought.

 

(I haven't asked him about it, because I don't want to be one of Those Girls...you know, with the dramatic - We hooked up! Define our relationship!...)

 

I need a translator...

[Speranza]

Why were you texting and emailing for 8 hours a day if you weren't interested?

 

I think you got the translation about right, probably. I'll leave it to others with more experience to confirm...

[Sonicxman]

Sounds like you like this guy more than just to be friends. Speaking from personal experience, when it seems to me that I am the one continiously doing all the contact, I feel like she is not interested. Which he's going to get tired and go else where.

[WindowTo]

Either he cannot deal with the awkwardness or discovered that he wasn't as attracted to you as he thought he was and does not want to lead you on or have to deal with accidentally encouraging it to go any further romantically.