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How to get closer to someone you like?


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Hi there,


first as a little introduction, I have been in a relationship for about 8years, seperated about a year ago from my then-boyfriend, met someone about a month afterwards but didn't work out and since then, I have been single.

Basically, I haven't been a single since I was 16 so it's not so easy for me to approach someone.


There is this really nice guy who is also studying computer science like I do, he looks good and I like his kind of humor very much. I would like to get to know him better, but I don't know how without being to pushy.

I've met him about a year ago at a university course when I was with this one guy for about a month, so we just met at university, not at freetime.

He did ask me once if I wanted to join him and some friends for an evening at a pub, but unfortunately I had to study for a test for the next day and could not go.


Not so long ago he told me that if I want I could call him when I'm at university at friday and we could go for lunch together, but the last few fridays I always had to work

I've met him today after a test and we went for a coffee afterwards, it was really nice.

Now I'm not quite sure to approach him and if he's even interested in getting to know me or to know me anymore because I didn't have time in the past and he might think I'm not interested.

He's online very often but we never did chat except for university matters. so I don't know if it would be too clingy to start chatting now very often, besides I'm more comfortable with meeting than chatting,

I'm rather shy to start a conversation online because I do not want to disturb him.

There is this one movie he really likes and has already seen twice. I'm thinking if I should ask him next week if he would like to watch it with me as I couldn't find someone else so far who would watch it with me.

Alltogether, I'm unsure what to do next without being to clingy from contact from time-to-tome to more contact without pushing him in a corner as we have only met so far if it concerned university.

Does anyone have an advice what I could do? Help is very very much appreciated, I feel so lost and inexperienced

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Well, he's already asked to see you three times - even after two "turn downs." He may just be after friendship...but this isn't the type of thing that you can apply pressure to create anyway. I would continue doing what you're doing and just let it happen. The movie sounds like a good idea. And if he asks to do something and you're already scheduled, make sure he knows what you're doing (so he won't think you're doing...who knows...seeing someone else, not interested in him, etc.). Good luck!

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Simple, just make a concerted effort to put yourself in his presence. Sit near him, invite him to things, accept invitations. If you want to get closer, ask him personal questions when the occasion arises and share your own thoughts on such things. Why did you study this or that, what do you do here or there, family, relationships, life philosophy, music, what are his passions etc.

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Hey guys, thank you very much for your replies, so kind of you.

I'm a bit taken aback, as I've written, if met this guy yesterday and it seemed quite nice. He even did sent me a short text message about a flat as I've mentioned that I'm looking for an appartement.

Today I carefully tried to start a conversation online about a project he told me about, but he only gave an short answer that made me feel if I was annoying him and didn't reply to another message of mine. Now I'm worried that I've gone too fast Do you think it was stupid to start a conversation online? I thought it would be strange to be online all day and never even try to chat. Maybe I was too pushy trying to go for contact for the last few days after such a long time of no contact?


Crap, now I sent a good night message and he didn't even answer, maybe he doesn't even like me at all Should I still try to initiate contact or let a few days pass and try to do something else?

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