Break off all contact?

[Longview01]

I broke up with my GF about a month and a half ago (check my previous thread for details) and I feel like i've done the right thing.

 

She is on everything of mine, facebook, myspace, PS3, Steam (its like MSN) MSN and she can text.

 

Now the problem i've got is that I cant log into any of these anymore without her chatting to me, I havent got a problem with chatting but she always manages to bring it around to "why we broke up" and "how lonely she is" and to be honest I can't be bothered with it.

 

Last time I logged on she started to ask ME how to get over ME (im older than her and been through all this before) and I said that it was unfair to ask me how to get through this situation cause im going through the same thing. What am I supposed to say to her? "go out, get drunk, sleep with somebody else"??? Its crazy

 

Then she started up with the whole, her life is a mess stuff and she wishes she could go to sleep and never wake up and that made me panic into thinking she was gonna do something stupid cause she said then went off line, then me being me im on the phone to her telling her not to think like that cause the world doesnt end with me and her.

 

Thats when it occurred to me, I had played right into her hands, I wasnt giving her the attention she desired so she used another method to aquire it. (thats what I think anyway) so i've gone NC since then but i cant log into anything and its driving me nuts!

 

i cant put any status updates on facebook cause she is all over them either

 

So what do i do?

 

Do I contact her and say "i've gotta remove you from my friends list cause of the reasons above?"

Just remove her and wait for her to kick off about being insensitive?

Or continue to ignore the problem hoping her gets the hint?

[mustard1234]

Respectfully, but firmly, say that you don't feel comfortable with the level of contact going on. Advise her to seek help if she's feeling truly overwhelmed. Tell her that you don't think it's healthy for either of you to be talking this much and while you're not trying to make decisions for her you're sure as heck making a decision on what's right for *your* life.

 

I'd recommend cutting her off from everything except facebook...facebook de-friend is just such a slap in the face, lol. Then don't respond to her comments as much/at all on your postings.

 

Don't be cruel in any way. But just be honest and firm.

 

Honestly, you sounded annoyed in this post. Try to be slightly more compassionate (...unless she cheated) but still maintain your personal boundaries.

 

This is probably amazingly hard for her. She may, actually, be having trouble dealing with it and not have many resources right now.

 

Handle it as you would like her to if the situation was reversed. That's the best advice I can give.

[GummyBear]

simple. you delete her from everything, or block her. and when she tries to text you or call you, don't answer. EVER. seriously, stop talking to her. stop responding. don't talk back.

 

yeah it sounds terrible, yeah it hurts, but it will help her get over you and help you get rid of her.

[Longview01]

Long story short, she chose drugs over me, so yeah I do feel slightly annoyed with her.

 

I think your right tho, I'm gonna have a chat with her and just say that I need some of the internet stuff as my own again

[Brigadoon]

A breakup is another term for a separation. Which implies that you will 'separate'.

You are still angry with her and so would find it hard to be compassionate towards her if you allow any more contact. Which shouldn't be a problem as you have 'separated' and are free to choose not to interact with her any longer. Which is actually for the best from her point of view too. She has to start moving on at some point and although it will be painful to hurt her you should console yourself with the thought that you are no longer giving her the hope that interacting with you is undoubtedly giving her.

And this is coming from a dumpee who now fully accepts that my ex ignoring me for six months was (unintentionally) the best thing he could have done for me. Remember that we all risk being hurt when we take a chance on relationships and that the sooner she moves on from you the better her chances are of having a relationship that works.