FML. Anyone? Help?

[lmd223]

I'm shy, I might have social anxiety. One of the most bashful people you'd meet.

I'm even shy around my own parents. This is a roadblock I just can't seem to overcome. It has successfully prevented me from living, and making friends and any progress in life. I'm only a 15 year old boy in high school, but I've been trying to stop being shy as long as I can remember. Sometimes I get so down, death seems like paradise compared to this routine life of shyness. Does ANYONE know how I can put an end to this? For good? Right now, death doesn't seem so bad..

[pinkelephant]

have you tried therapy? i'm really shy too, it's definitely difficult to cope!

[YakasJourney]

Why are you shy?

[lmd223]

The way I was brought up, I never had opportunities to interact w/ other kids. I was an only child also, so I've been shy ever since.

[Mercurial Girl]

I've had a similar upbringing...only child, sheltered, isolated. When I was really young it wasn't much of an issue, but from about 13 onwards, I seem to have missed out on learning some really important social skills. Now I can get very nervous, have a hard time making friends, so on.

 

I hate to tell you this, because I hated to hear it myself...but really the only thing you can do is get out there and get into uncomfortable situations, push yourself out of your comfort zone, and learn.

 

Talk to people, no matter how painful it is, no matter how awkward you find the outcome to be...just keep challenging yourself. It hurts and it sucks and it takes a lot of energy out of you but it's really the only way.

 

You're only 15 so you have a lot of time to work on your anxiety...but PLEASE work on it now. I didn't start till well past then, missed out on a lot of things because of fear, and it's still an uphill battle (though I'm way better off than I used to be). So get out there and make yourself do things that make you squirm. You'll be fine and you'll just get better and better.

 

Good luck

[all lucky 7s]

I hate to tell you this, because I hated to hear it myself...but really the only thing you can do is get out there and get into uncomfortable situations, push yourself out of your comfort zone, and learn.

 

Yep, the solution is pretty much this, unfortunately.

 

I've always had very few friends, and I've always had a lot of difficultly with making and maintaining friendships. During school, I would try to avoid contact with others as much as possible, I would avoid talking to new people if I could, and I never really met anyone in school who I made contact with outside of school. Sad way to live, really, and I regret my school life as a result to be honest.

 

When I got a new job about seven months ago, I wanted to change that. It started small, just saying "hi" to co-workers who I saw every day, and learning their names. Then I wanted to practice making cold contact with people, just make eye contact and say, "Hey, how's it going?" to some random stranger walking by. It took a surprising amount of mental rehearsing and self pep talk to finally get the courage to do it. And when I tried it for the first time, it was ridiculously awkward. Even the second and third times to an extent. But I was surprised at how quick I got used to it.

 

The key is you need to give it a shot. Or at least you need to think a lot about giving it a shot. You won't accomplish anything if you're too afraid to take the action necessary to change things. It's very sad, but very true. It might also seem scary, but it's very, very possible. Even if you have to work over a year or two to make your shyness evaporate away, it'll be worth it in the end. Trust me. And you're still young to, so you'll be able to make the most of it.

 

If you still find yourself shy, though, or if merely thinking about talking to strangers makes you ridiculously nervous, you might consider talking to a professional. They would be able to help you and guide you far better than I ever could.

[sidehop]

Are you basically shy with any people that you come in contact with? What about other family members? Can you start with people that you may find comfortable with? Younger children? Older adults? Senior citizens? Baby steps then start talking to everyday people. You don't have to carry a big conversation, even a simple hi and how are you's.

[lmd223]

dueces are wild & all lucky 7s: Thanks for the advice, as much as it sucks the only way to get past my shyness is to practice, no matter how hard it may be.

 

sidehop: Pretty much, I'm shy around anybody who I haven't been in recent close contact with. Like if I haven't seen you for two weeks or so, I may be really quiet and to myself until I open up again. Talk about frustrating..

[sidehop]

It's okay to be quiet, take interest in those people, ask questions and don't focus too much on what you think or have to say or worry about what the other person may say.

 

A lot of shy people will worry a lot in that sense or afraid to speak their mind. But when you take interest and the other people feel relaxed because they want to tell you about their life he/she then will take more liking to you and want to get to know you as well