Jump to content

What is going on in my head?


Recommended Posts

So two weeks ago I took a friend out on a date. She had been interested in me for a while, but i had just gone through a breakup, but recently I had really begun to see her a new light and wanted to see where it led. The first date was AMAZING, probably the best i've been on in a while, and we've gone on a few more since and been hanging out pretty regularly. Anyway, I now find myself going back and forth on whether or not I'm into her or if I'm even attracted to her? Is this normal? I haven't dated in about a year and my previous relationships before that have been people I was already extraordinarily close with, so this "getting to know you" thing is a little new for me. I'm terrified of hurting her, and worry that maybe I'm sabotaging myself in my head. On one hand, she's absolutely amazing and we have a lot in common and love spending time with one another. On the other, I'm not sure I'm ready to end being single and I'm afraid that maybe I'm settling because i'm not "blown away" (but is this realistic to expect anymore? I'm a 26 year old guy.


Thanks for any advice and insight...

Link to comment

If you don't feel ready to get involved, then tell her that. I met my girlfriend after I was reclaiming singlehood after a previous relationship break up. I was more or less over my ex when we started dating, but I wasn't completely unattached. I told her what I was going through and she was understanding. We did the "just friends" thing for a couple weeks, or something like that, and then the vibe that I got from her threw the "just friends" thing out the window. I am in a happy relationship with her.


So, I'd say, if it doesn't feel right, don't rush into it. If she's worth your time, she'll understand. I believe my girl said, "It's okay. When you're ready, I'm interested." Not saying it's going to happen just like that, but you've got to communicate your concerns or address what is on your mind.

Link to comment

Wow. I haven't talked about it on ENA at all, but I can definitely relate with you right now. I'm a one-up in my new "relationship", if you could call it that already, and I'm already scared of hurting her. Not good. I find that she is not sticking up for herself when I tease her enough, or else paying too much homage to it. And she's so into me being the boss... a fun dynamic, but for how long?


I will go back and forth in my head like crazy. I am so much more comfortable being a one-down, and I think most people are. When I look at her, one moment I'm thinking "she is so sexy and attractive", and the next moment I'm thinking "do I even like this person." She's making me feel schizophrenic!


So, at this point, I'm just playing the waiting game, and waiting to see on which side of the mountain this falls. It could honestly go either way at this point, and I'm trying not to rush it. I will feel pretty disappointed if I conclude that it's not a match though. Mind is wide open.

Link to comment

I'm glad I'm not the only one then. I had the sense that this is a pretty normal, common occurrence at the beginning of some relationships but needed a bit of affirmation. I'm okay with it not working out I just don't ever want to have to look back and feel like I didn't give it a chance because I was hit by this so early on and didn't know how to handle it.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...