The end of the dream but only for one of us

[KittyBoo]

It's been a few weeks since I last posted. It's been almost six months since the break-up. I was starting to feel a bit better and felt like I was making progress in my healing. Then yesterday something happened and I have been feeling really down since then. A good friend of mine told me that my ex just recently came back from taking a week long trip to a destination that he and I had planned to go to this year. He went with one of his friends.

 

The reason that I was so upset and disappointed.... because as crazy as this sounds, it feels like it wasn't "our" dreams that ended with the end of our relationship, only mine. I am jealous because he is still living out these dreams and has just found other people to live them out with. I didn't expect him to stop living just because we are not a couple but it just hurts that he would take this particular trip as quickly as he did. I guess I am just jealous because he got to live the experience and I didn't. I can still live it but I know it would have been a lot of fun to share it with him.

 

I know that he is not the right person for me and I need to let go. So why is it so hard to go on with my own life and forget about him and what he is doing? This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with in life and it scares me that I don't know how much longer feeling like this is going to go on.

[lavenderdove]

When you have these kinds of feelings, it usually means you are just hanging back waiting for your life to start over, as if someone else has to be the trigger for that.

 

Remember, nobody is stopping YOU from living all your dreams except you. You can have any experience you want if you just plan and do it. It sounds like you really turned over a lot of your personal power to him, i.e., invested all your hopes and dreams IN him and in being with him, when you really need to recognize that you can find other people and a new love to do all the things you wanted to do with him.

 

If you can't let go, start practicing thought stopping (google it) to get him out of your head, and start going out and doing some of the things you were 'waiting' to do with him, but with other friends. That is a healthier path for you to take rather than brooding about him and being angry he is living his life without you. Your life is your own, so start living it without reference to him.