Friends after break up?

[pinecone]

After so, so many fraught texts and calls from either side, and a good 6 months, I finally offered to delete his number. He said he didn't want this. I was relieved. He says that he's sure we'll meet up one day, when we're ready, and be good friends. From the blind terror that strikes me whenever I think of him with someone else, I doubt they'll ever be a point when we are both fully capable of being friends and friends alone. But, emotions change, don't they?

 

Has anyone ever gone from fully loving someone to being a platonic close friend?

[rtyre2]

I'm friends with my ex who I dated for 2 1/2 years. But what made that possible was me falling deeply in love with my past relationship that I am now grieving over the loss of. I think being with my recent ex showed me that I didn't care for my 2 1/2 year relationship as much as I thought. Looking at my 2 year relationship that just ended, I don't think I could be her friend because of the 15 months we spent living together; it's a bond that once broken will always be hard to repair.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

People have done this. However, right now your heart still yearns for him so you are clinging to the thought that you hope the two of you may be friends in the future. Once you are no longer yearning for him you might find that you will have outgrown even friendship with him. NC is the best way to heal and not feel the desperation of wanting to be in contact. The longer NC continues, the easier it becomes.

[blue_dahlia]

I have. It took 20 years, but I'm now friends with my highschool sweetheart. There was no contact between us for 15 years (not intentional, we just lost touch and recently reconnected).

 

However, it's my choice that we're "just" friends. He would love to be more than friends.

 

That always tends to be the problem; usually one person wants more than just a friendship, but sometimes they settle for what they can have because in their mind that's better than not having anything i.e. he would rather be just be friends than to lose contact and our renewed friendship.

[jimmajam]

I've seen it happen, but honestly the feelings were always present. I had a friend who did this and it was awkward being around them because you could still sense they still had feelings. I wouldn't even be worrying about this until you can honestly, 100% say you are over him and healed. There's a reason that being friends afterward is probably the exception and no the rule - it's hard!

[ForumGuy]

Going along with the crowd here, if you are truly in love with someone, which supposedly lasts forever, you can never be "just friends". You can only be friends if you actually fall out of love with them. Unless you want to feel more pain.