don't know what the HELL to do

[hellodoe]

so my ex called me 2 weeks ago ish.

we had a nice conversation and she told me to contact her whenever i felt like talking, i said i would but never contacted her.

 

she sent me some e-mails within the next two weeks, some i responded to keeping it short and taking a couple days to respond, others i ignored.

 

so she sent me an e-mail of a cystic fibrosis website (cf is pertinent to us). i responded short and sweet.

 

she texted me immediately after saying

 

"Just got your fb message, you free/want to talk?"

 

I said "Sure, just got out of work."

 

She called me and we talked for an hour, laughed a lot - both did a lot of talking, she led the beginning of the convo i led the end.

 

before we got off the phone she said "You should contact me, you know, I said you could and I always initiate it when we talk. I feel like you don't want to talk to me."

 

I said that it wasn't the case and I would contact her whenever was best for me.

 

She said ok, stumbled on her words a little and said goodnight.

 

IDK if i should stay NC anymore, that's what got her to start talking to me again, but now that we're talking and she WANTS me to contact her I have no idea what to do.

 

Should I still stay NC? She'll be home for the summer by next Monday, dunno if she wants to see me. She kept saying she didn't know what she was going to do with herself all summer and that she didn't have solid friends at home but I didn't suggest we hang out or anything.

 

NC? NIC? LC? C?!

So confused

[Mauxly]

I went back and read your history. She's been all over rhe place. Do you really want to do this to yourself?

 

Heartbreaking situation. I can't tell if she loves you and isbteying to spar you the drama of her. I'd if she doesn't love you but keeps trying to suck you in because of some sort if codependency.

 

Sorry I don't have better advice.

[hellodoe]

thank you for the response.

honestly, i don't want to do this to myself and i am considering telling

her to back off, but b/c she will be home in less than 2 weeks i want to see how

that plays out before i say leave me alone.

 

i guess my plan is to not contact her except maybe a text (bc she asked me to be the first one to make contact next time and that will be it.

 

if she pursues a friendship with me over the summer i'll tell her it's not what

i want & to have us be over completely.

 

i don't know, how does that sound?

[misssmithviii]

If you don't think it was a healthy relationship, if you know her and what she's capable of and it's not good - then I suggest NC.

 

Figure out whether you want to talk to her because of the relationship you had or because she's a genuinely good influence/companion in your life. Also, if you're having difficulty sorting out your feelings for her and you feel a rise every time you talk to her - then I would say don't engage in communication.

[hellodoe]

thank you miss, that's very good advice and

i think i know the answers to all those wonderings.

NC it is.