BrotherD Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 Im in no contact 2 months now. I played out in my mind how a phone call to my ex would happen and when I do, NO CONTACT looks mighty good. DO NOT DO IT! Unless it comes from the ex, it is a ticket to hell. Danger Will Robinson! Here is an update on what's going on with me. NO CONTACT HAS RESULTED IN FOLLOWING... I'm out of denial into the pissed stage. Pissed that I put up with the "friends" thing. I handed over the keys to my life to this person along with the my dignity. NO CONTACT RESTORED MY SELF RESPECT...IF YA DON"T WANT ME, FINE I'LL GO. FIND ME IF YOU WANT ME... With NC, the playing field is now leveled. I feel less anxious. My heart still races a bit, less so now, when I think of my ex having sex with someone else or a new romantic interest. Time is the great equalizer! Today was the first day that the pain felt diminished. I worked out hard at he gym and had productive time at my desk. I am an awesome guy. Someday that will be woefully clear on the other side... I am getting to the point where I could care less ifI see my ex again. It was a nightmare of drama and games. I YI YI! It's like I'm sitting on the beach on a tropical island after a storm. It is peaceful and the water is lapping at my toes. Out in the distance, on the horizon, I can see the storm moving away. I can still see it and I can still feel bursts of the wind from it, but it is far away.. Would I swim back out to choas and turbulence? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!! Enough with the metaphor.... A nasty side effect of NC that we must not discount is as time washes away the bad memories, the good ones remain. For both parties. I remember how happy I was when my ex was sweet and affectionate with me. Boy, did that feel great. I never was so head over heels in love. I remember that we had nice talks and fun times. We were together only 3 months so I feel we never really got to know each other personally or sexually. That's disappointing. And illuminating as well. If we got back together, maybe in a few years we'd be like that old couple everyone sees in a restaraunt that quietly eat their meal without talking to each other. I think becuase I never got to a point where I was tired of my ex, I think it made it harder to get over. Another upside to no contact would be that the realtionship never peters out, but dies in a burst. There is some solace in that (I think...) Finally, I am clear that it's more likely than not that I won't hear from my ex. VERY STUBBORN PERSON. Always had to get the last word in, always had to be right. And yet still, I come away knowing that I am missed. Knowing that the good memories remain. I hung in there, conforming to the rules and regulations that were laid down before me. I tried. In the meantime, NO CONTACT continues... Hang in there everybody...More often than not, I think NC is the definitive way to break free from the craziness that we found ourselves in... Link to comment
nick23 Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 awesome post.....I am doing no contact now for about 2 weeks and every day is getting better and better for me. Link to comment
smiles314 Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 Hey! Ur post rocked.. IM doing no contact for 4 weeks on Wednesday...And wow, does it feel strange.. BUt after so many manipulations witt his guy I know I'm better off.. And I know what you mean about ur ex being stubborn because sooo is mine.. ALways has to look liek the winner, even if he is just tricking himself.. And nevr lets himself be vulnerable. But reading your post helps a lot, and feel free to pm if you ever need or want to talk.. I know some days can be annoyting, while for the most part it feels great. Link to comment
spaceandtime Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 I'm on 6 and a half months now, aside from some rocky emails last week when I got the "I think about you everyday", "I miss you", "I want to be centre of your life again" Blah, blah, manipulative, blah, controlling, blah, blah. Honestly, No Contact is the only way out of the craziness and as you find your sense of self again you become fitter, faster, better and stronger..... Link to comment
Johy Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 I feel you man!! i know how it feels after you disconect! your post was awesome! it feel good right??!!!! you sound like a writer, I like the flow of your words, thanks for tha picker upper, sometimes you need to feel the next chapter is starting.... Link to comment
bitterbear18 Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 No contact for about a week now. The thing is though I had promised to meet up with her after my exams this month. Do I go or do I not go? She's leaving to work in China at the end of July... do I owe her any goodbye? Link to comment
Johy Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Well it all depends on whether you are ready for that moment, maybe closure will make you feel better, then you would know that you are in peace with yourself,and wish her for the best, there is no need to stay bitter...know watta mean?? but just be ready for it. Also, you say you are "supposed" to meet, are you ready to make that call? or you think she is gonna call you? it all depends on who makes the move... In my opinion, if I see that the time is getting closer for her departure, and still NC, I would call the day before she leaves and say good bye...or you can write her a letter if you really think is gonna hurt too much to see her again.... But believe me, it will get better after it happens.... I wish you lots of luck, try to make a mature descision...it will pay off in the end... see ya! Link to comment
bitterbear18 Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Her birthday is next week... I was planning to take her out to make up for it after exams and for her taking me out for mine (She actually took me to see 'the producers' so I feel somewhat indebted) She called me last week, but it was one of those post break up mental games I'm doing good and hopfully you won;t do well without me type of calls. And because of that I don't feel the need to stay in contact at all with her. Not even a call or anything. At most a message to wish her the best of luck. But then again, who knows when she calls. I'm basically going to work on that. Link to comment
bitterbear18 Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 I phone messaged her today to wish her the best of luck on her exams. She replied saying she was so screwed with her exam, that she's cramming and thinking of cheating on it. Relevance to the message is not important, but yeah, does this breach the NC rule? I'm thinking of barring her call. Link to comment
BrotherD Posted June 10, 2004 Author Share Posted June 10, 2004 bitterbear18 NO CONTACT MEANS NO CONTACT! Yes! phoning her constitutes a breach!!!!!!!!! Let's go back to the original topic of this thread, shall we? bitterbear18, how would getting your life back feel? How would regaining parity in this relationship feel? How would moving on feel? You are addicted to this drug of rejection. You need to detox ASAP... Take it from me, NO CONTACT is the virtual Betty Ford clinic for love-o-holics!!!! You must dry out! NO CONTACT. Only then will you feel better! I know it's hard to hear. I couldn't hear what all my friend and family were trying to tell me. I was in the wash...MONTHS OF AGONY! DEGRADATION HEAPED ON MY THE LIKES I'VE NEVER KNOWN... NO CONTACT! Any communication, email, phone, carrier pigeon, etc. IS A BREACH... DETOX DETOX DETOX Link to comment
bitterbear18 Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 *Salutes* She called last night.... I had the phone on silent.... she called me 4 TIMES Link to comment
saren Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 4 times?! Geez, what GIVES with that woman? Link to comment
bitterbear18 Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 It's her birthday this Saturday.... THANK GOD I HAVE EXAMS TO STUDY FOR BUt I'll break the NC rule and text her a happy birthday... don't want to be THAT bitter about it Link to comment
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