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Stuck in life.


Ace0018

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I've realized that its hard for me to push myself and to think about the future and it makes me sad that I feel I don't have the drive I want to have in life. I've been in college for four years now, and this may, when I should be graduating, I won't be walking accross the stage and getting my degree as I hoped I would. I've messed up and I know I have. After three years at one school it wasn't the same. I couldn't focus the way I used to so I transferred to another school hoping the change would be the trick I needed to get my ambition and passion for education back. I've always had big dreams, I came close to finishing a bachelors degree before I lost my mojo. I've always wanted to go to law school and make myself and my family proud.. but, I fell off track, had a horrible relationship in which I was stolen from, domestically abused, and my belongings wrecked followed by months and months of living in fear of him, had a couple others in which I wasn't emotionally ready. My friends seemed to disappear off into different directions with new things happening every day while I strayed off alone. I've had a lot of things given to me.. life is fairly easy.. I have absolutely no reason to be living my life the way i'm living it unless I am trying to be a bum that doesn't even have a part-time job and is now not even remotely interested in the repetitive bull that classes now seem to me. I want so bad to make my parents happy though. They are the reason I live a comfortable life in my own house with my own car and my own dog. I have everything I could have ever needed and a family that wants nothing but the best and I'm doing nothing. I need advice, i've never told anyone about whats really been going on.. and this is only skimming the surface..I want my drive back and I don't know how to get it.. I want more out of life, to make something of myself than to just be sitting around staring into space. What can I do, or tell myself, or try? I don't know anymore.

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Well, it's rather obvious that something is blocking your mojo. And while you have not mentioned half the stuff since you were only skimming the surface, it would seem to me that it is all that other stuff that is holding you back. All of that stuff you are perhaps too scared to face, or are hiding from has built to such a height in your mind that it is blocking the way forward clearly. You say that you have never told anyone about this stuff, why not? Get it out there and deal with it, and in doing so, learn to love who you are again.

 

This kind of thing happened to me at the end of a bad relationship and messed up who I was, it took ages to work through it just so that I could see who I was and that I liked that person. Perhaps that is a good place for you to start?

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It sounds a little dumb, but you need to start with one thing at a time. I'd suggest starting with your work ethic and forcing yourself to work. It might not feel good, but at least you're doing something productive. Once you've done some work, read a few textbooks or do some coursework, you'll feel a certain sense of pride. It's the little things that tend to inspire you.

 

You're lucky enough to be born into a situation where you have everything. That's not always a good thing, but it's certainly a head-start you have to take full advantage of. Go for whatever makes you happy, live to dream and thank the Gods (or whatever you believe in) that these opportunities have been provided to you. Live, love and be strong.

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