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My heart hurts, I just want to break NC

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My heart hurts so badly...isn't NC supposed to make healing easier? Why am I ironically wanting and wishing he would call?


It's been only 9 days of NC (I know, not long at ALL), almost 2 months since the break-up, but I'm hurting so much still. I have had ups and downs, but I think the fact that he hasn't attempted any contact is making me feel worse. I feel like I want to break NC because I have a feeling he's not contacting me because he's more so respecting my wishes...or I may be wrong. When he first broke it up, I told him I can't be friends with him right away (which was his intentions...he had a case of GIGS but with no other girl in mind, we're 21, didn't see himself in a long-term relationship even though we dated 2 years).


I feel like he's respecting my wishes, and I know everyone is all about NC on this forum, but I know my ex, and he's just not someone I feel I can just not talk for awhile. I should work on myself, but I almost feel myself on the edge, waiting for when he's going to call or text or anything...sigh. I feel pathetic. This NC thing is backfiring on me sigh.

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First you must accept the fact that the relationship is over and he is not your boyfriend any longer. Accept that you will have to move on.


Nc is hard at first, but it will slowly get better. Don't stop you are running twords a long goal.

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Stay strong, many of us have gone through this phase...myself included.

I felt the same way, my ex didn't contact me and I felt horrible. I felt like I was dumped like trash, and he told me he was seeing someone new.


After 2 months, I got a random email from him asking how I've been. I was actually pissed off. If you asked me a month ago, I would've been happy if he made contact...but at this point, I'm just annoyed. I was finally moving on and accepting the breakup, and he decided to contact me.

Stay strong!

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It really does feel like your heart is breaking doesn't it? If you are lucky, you have someone you can cry or talk to about it as the waves of hurt come and go. I know these are hard words to hear, but the reason NC works, is you have to put distance between the two of you. It's easy to second guess why you broke up...was it me? was it him? should I have done something different? maybe he didn't understand... We can talk ourselves into a crazy loop. The process sucks, there is no way around it. The only control you have is your mind. What thoughts you choose to give focus to will determine if it takes forever, or forever x 10. It feels like that right? Something that helps me, is thinking about the people I have dumped. Why? Because at that moment, I now understand how they felt--it has made me a more gracious and kind person. Also, I think about the others that have broke my heart--some I thought I would never get over--but I did. Each time feels unique, and it still hurts damn it! But take a moment to gain perspective. Yes, it is a tough pill, but it is the medication that will help heal you.

Lastly, if that man does not have it in him to pick-up the phone, cry and say he made a terrible mistake--screw him!! You don't need him, and you WILL find someone else. Pick your head up and walk like you love yourself and absolutely know that he is the nut that is missing out--LOL. You know I'm right!! My favorite saying in times like this...NEXT!

Be well, look to this day with renewed hope and show us your strength...then, loop back around and help pick us up on the next fall! xoxoxo

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I say contact him if you want. No one is making you stay out of contact with him. Just think about what you are trying to achieve if you do it and how you would feel if he a) doesn't respond b) doesn't respond quickly and/or c) doesn't respond the way you want him to.


All of this is your own free will. I think that people have to come to the understanding that cutting contact can be the best thing, but you have to make that determination on your own.

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NC makes it easier in the sense that we can move on quicker than if we were continually being pulled back by having contact .... but it doesn't make it any less painful. You have still broken up and you still need to try to come to terms with that. It will hurt and it will take time.


I am sure your ex knows how you feel about him. If he wanted or needed to contact you he knows, deep down, he could do so ... and if he really wanted to (and bearing in mind he broke up with you) then nothing would stop him. He knows your wishes are in relation to your breakup and not in relation to not wanting to be with him.

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