How am I supposed to approach someone?

[Troublewithgirls]

Hey guys, I'm having a terribly hard time approaching girls. I've only had one girlfriend in my life and I don't even really like to classify it as a "relationship". We had our problems and truthfully, I was just never that into her. Well, I'm on the hunt for new prospectives and don't know how to approach someone that I see to be attractive. I've had my fair share of girls ask me out and get looks pretty often but am unsure of how to approach them. I've seen a lot of people saying to start with a name but I find it quite awkward to go up to a random girl and introduce myself. I guess it helps if the girl finds me attractive but I am unsure on what to say. I'm tired of being single and want to do something about it!

[Green Mile]

You're in the same boat as me, I feel the same and find it hard to think of how to approach girls. The advice I got on here is basically to get over the fear of rejection, and if you are rejected brush it off and realise it's better that you tried rather than doing nothing and never knowing.

 

I have yet to have chance to practise the advice though! I know what you mean about what to say, it does seem awkward to me to walk up to a girl and say "hi, I'm..."

[easyguy]

Learn to love yourself completely for who you are and you will think less about the results, desirable or undesirable. Be real with whoever you talk to. Assume you already know this person. To approach someone in a friendly manner is to already perceive the person as a friend.

[Organs]

I'll say this: part of it is that there's something awkward with just approaching someone right out of the blue and expecting a really interesting conversation to just happen.

 

It really helps if there's a reason to say something to a girl. You could just say she looks great in her boots, or that's a nice dress, or you like what she did with her hair. Chances are, she'll just smile, say thank you, and you just say you felt the need to compliment her, and that's all that comes of it. But it will also mean that you communicated with another human being you found attractive.

 

It's easier to approach girls when there's some semblance of a reason to talk to them.

[Shudder]

I'll say this: part of it is that there's something awkward with just approaching someone right out of the blue and expecting a really interesting conversation to just happen.

 

It really helps if there's a reason to say something to a girl. You could just say she looks great in her boots, or that's a nice dress, or you like what she did with her hair. Chances are, she'll just smile, say thank you, and you just say you felt the need to compliment her, and that's all that comes of it. But it will also mean that you communicated with another human being you found attractive.

 

It's easier to approach girls when there's some semblance of a reason to talk to them.

 

 

so if i see a girl that has a nice badonkadonk, i should go up to her and compliment her on that and she will smile at me?

[Troublewithgirls]

Woah haha, I typed this up last night after having quite a few drinks. The thing is that I'm not really worried so much about how I look or feel about myself. I'm more worried on exactly what I should say. Going up to a girl and complimenting her about something that she is wearing seems a little out of the blue and I don't want to come off as someone that goes up to any girl that I find attractive in hopes of starting a conversation with them.

 

My problem is that I seem to attract girls that I don't find to be my type. Don't get me wrong, I'm not picky. There are just a few things that I look for in a girl (and looks aren't really one of them) but I just can't seem to find the traits very often. When I do, I really want to take advantage of the situation but can't seem to muster the right words together. I almost feel like it'd be best for me to just go up to the girl and ask if she's available to go out for coffee or lunch. That way it allows me to save the small talk for later (I've run out of things to say on a date before and believe me, it was awkward) and get straight to the point on how I feel about her (i.e. that I find her attractive).

[eggplant47]

so if i see a girl that has a nice badonkadonk, i should go up to her and compliment her on that and she will smile at me?

 

Haha! Maybe.... or you might get a drink down your pants! When I was a single female, I found the hardest part about meeting guys was trying to figure out if they really wanted to get to know me, or if they just wanted in my pants.

 

Almost always, the type of guy who would feed me a carefully planned line was the 2nd type. I much preferred a guy who just walked up & said "Hey, I'm Brian!" & then followed up with something simple like "how are you?". Then you could give her an honest compliment expressing interest.

 

I think the more/most important thing comes after making contact: pay attention to signals. If she's looking away or giving you one word answers, she's not interested, and you should exit with a "have a good night!" If she laughs, smiles or asks questions in return, then you can ask her if she wants a drink, to dance or to move to a table & talk.

 

Any girl worth having will realize how hard it is for a guy to walk up to a stranger and put himself out there. A woman who reacts nastily has her own problems and isn't worth having anyway!

[goodfoot]

The thing is, it will be pretty obvious you are talking to her because you find her attractive. You can't really say, "You're personality looks amazing." Instead of trying to hide it, you should be honest. Also, from the sound of your post you haven't really attempted approaching girls. You can't score if you don't shoot the ball, right?

[xyzzzz]

i think to girls..if u go talk to them it is a compliment.to me it is and i sure wont be rude,as long as u dont come off creepy.in fact simple "how are u,what a nice day" is good enough.to me if u say"hi ,aww ur so cute" or "hey i just wanna say ur hot" is too much and weird.lol

if ur hot,doesnt matter what u say ,girls will be flattered.if ur not sure about ur face,lol find a reason to start conversation.like if ur in coffee shop u can say"i like the same kind of coffee as u"

[flipside]

The thing is, it will be pretty obvious you are talking to her because you find her attractive. You can't really say, "You're personality looks amazing."

 

 

Yea, I gotta agree here. Attractive girls especially. Its really rough when you say hello or start conversation and then they roll their eyes at you. But the advice of getting over the rejection aspect is dead on. when it happens, just forget it and try again another day. Its a drag, you don't want to be that guy that just tries with a ton of girls and takes what he can get. Unfortunately, that's the only chance many will have.

 

Also, I have witnessed guys succeed (with strangers!) when they just come right out and say "Hi, I think you're absolutely beautiful and I want to take you out sometime". It takes balls and I'm sure it doesn't work most of the time, but no doubt it's worked.

 

It sucks, but when you're single and not in a situation where you're meeting new girls all the time----its purely a numbers game. (So I'm told)

[katzzz1]

hey, I just wanted to give you an example of how I met a guy I just went on a date with this weekend. Last week I was at a bar that had pool tables and I was putting a dollar into a machine to get quarters. It was an old dollar bill and it just wouldn't go into the machine. A guy standing near offered to trade the dollar bill for a newer bill he had. The new bill went right into the machine. So, anyway, right off the bat i'm thinking this guy is a nice guy and we started to chat which then led to us exchanging numbers and then he called this weekend to set up a date.

So my point is that if you have an opportunity where you are actually doing something rather than just cold approach someone, I think it works better. Just in my experience, it seems to break the ice better. It is less like they are just trying to hookup....hope that helps

[jonny15]

I've had my fair share of girls ask me out and get looks pretty often but am unsure of how to approach them. I've seen a lot of people saying to start with a name but I find it quite awkward to go up to a random girl and introduce myself. I guess it helps if the girl finds me attractive but I am unsure on what to say. I'm tired of being single and want to do something about it!

 

So......you've had plenty of women ask you out, yet your complaing about not being able to do it yourself.

 

If you have girls asking you out, then you must have alot going for you.

 

 

I cannot feel sympathy for someone who gets women to ask them out.

[flipside]

good catch johnny! I'm wit him!